How?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:00, archived)

Alright, Gaz Top.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:02, archived)

alright

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:07, archived)

Now?

( broadsword w⚓, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:02, archived)

Brown?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:07, archived)

Cheers, I do like a bit of brown

( broadsword w⚓, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:32, archived)

Heap big.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:02, archived)

Alright chiefy

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:07, archived)

like this
*thrusts*
( $$ ✅, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:03, archived)

so hot

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:06, archived)

I'm pretty good at that

( $$ ✅, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:07, archived)

You've clearly been practising

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:07, archived)

Jesus is my master

( $$ ✅, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:09, archived)

well obvs

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:11, archived)

ME-OW!

( $$ ✅, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:13, archived)

wonder what led him to screaming at an egg

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:16, archived)

life

( $$ ✅, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:30, archived)

he was eggsasperated

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:58, archived)

prob'ly eggshausted as well

( broadsword w⚓, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 14:09, archived)

possibly even shellshocked

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 14:13, archived)

not eggsactly eggstatic

( broadsword w⚓, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 14:29, archived)

I can't wait until this sub-thread is ova

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 14:48, archived)

haha eggs!!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 14:50, archived)

^bad egg

( broadsword w⚓, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 15:04, archived)

^eggy boff

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 15:07, archived)

^eggy cup

( broadsword w⚓, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 15:11, archived)

In the space of a few hours I received 3 emails with terrible Halloween puns from the same retailer. 'sake.
pbs.twimg.com/media/DMBGG91XkAU2o_0.jpg
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:19, archived)

Lol
I love it when companies do that. I had one from screwfix that was Game of Thrones themed when series 7 started. Screwfix!?!
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:20, archived)

Had a weird conversation with the estate agent
I returned a missed call
"Sean speaking"
"Hi. Could I speak to Georgia please?"
"She's sort of on another line right now. Can I take a message?"
"Erm...yes, can you ask her to call me back?"
"What's the call about obviously?"
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:19, archived)

Earning his fees right there that one.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:20, archived)

I know right

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:20, archived)

He didn't sound foreign, but he certainly spoke like someone who isn't english

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:20, archived)

Maybe he's Scottish!!!!

(dozers You big spazzer!, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:22, archived)

haha those crazy jocks

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:23, archived)

Alright, Obviously.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:36, archived)

if you don't know by now, i'm not telling you

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:42, archived)

I'm not telling you you will never, never, never know me.

Dunno why I'm quoting that; I fucking hate Simply Red.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:45, archived)

I got a free listen to them when they played at Leeds Castle*.
I went indoors and shut all the windows.

*actually a castle, despite what mcbeef thinks.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:49, archived)

They're a bunch of cunts and no mistake.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:51, archived)

me too
my brother-in-law had a habit of singing a line from one of their songs over and over again. did my nut in.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:49, archived)

Bunny's too tight to mention...
Hahahahahaha, like on beeter.com!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:51, archived)

if bunny's too tight, use lube

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:59, archived)

My ex used to sing a single line from any given song about fifty times a day.
Even if I liked the song to begin with, it ended up doing my nut in.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:52, archived)

an ex of mine
would use the phrase "in more ways than one!" after almost every sentece, even when it made absolutely no sense.
he didn't last long.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:58, archived)

+ in more ways than one.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:59, archived)

He'

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 14:00, archived)

in some ways he did
otherwise i'd have dumped him even sooner
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 14:05, archived)

Really, it's only a matter of time before that security guard absolutely has to go, unless he had the foresight to take a catheter in with him

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 13:52, archived)

When you get into a line of protest like this
how far is 'too far'?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 14:13, archived)

Well it's not like he'll get fired for it, might as well shit too

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 14:17, archived)

For the final time
You have to join the Magic Circle before I can tell you.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 14:28, archived)

what's so magic about it?
and why does it have to be a circle? i mean, the mystical rhombus sounds much better
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 14:30, archived)

Look, start your own magic club
We don't want non-circle believers
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 14:38, archived)

i bloody will!
i hereby declare that i shall be accepting members to the newly-formed Mystical Rhombus Society, meeting whenever the fuck i like
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 14:54, archived)

St Vincent is awesome
That is all
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 14:33, archived)

fucking papists

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 14:38, archived)

St Gene
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 14:48, archived)

mm in being right about something shocker

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 14:51, archived)

Full Disclosure: I only know him as a lyric in that Ian Dury song.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 14:59, archived)

prick

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 15:48, archived)

Nobody?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:09, archived)

Anybodyyyyyyyyyyyyy
I need...etc.

Morning WP. Last night I went to see that Kingsman: The Golden Circle thingy, and somebody might as well have burnt my neck, because I didn't like it.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:11, archived)

It looks like complete shit.
The first movie I got through 20 minutes and turned it off. It's comedy for people who like James Corden
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:14, archived)

Ah, the first one's a bit of fun, so it is.
It doesn't try to be anything other than an entertaining bit of fluff. I LIKED IT ANYWAY, and I'm only tenuously aware of who James Corden is.

They got struck down by a terminal attack of laziness for the second one, though: the main plot is exactly the same as in the first one, they binned the characters they spent the first time developing and replaced them with less interesting ones, and it's considerably more lowbrow.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:21, archived)

I bet you watch Mrs Brown's boys

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:22, archived)

Nope.
But I'd be interested to hear why you thought I did.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:25, archived)

I just get the feeling it'd be for you.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:41, archived)

I've just wikied it and it looks utterly dire.
Are you lumping it and Kingsman into the same basket? Because, y'know, I'd take issue with that.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:44, archived)

You can take issue if you want.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:52, archived)

I shall.
There was a homeless guy about 20 years ago who spent his days on Broad Street yelling "Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig Issuuuuuuuuuuuuuue...", like a town cryer. I wonder what happened to him.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:54, archived)

I liked the first one, but the sequel looks a bit forced.
Also, Channing Tatum is a crap action hero. And a crap actor, for that matter.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:01, archived)

lol, I thought you meant the lego film for a moment

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:02, archived)

Tatum was superman in the Lego movie, wasn't he?
That fat prick from Superbad was green lantern, too. I hate them so much.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:07, archived)

Hiya

(dozers You big spazzer!, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:12, archived)

How's you?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:14, archived)

I'm alright ta, yirsel?

(dozers You big spazzer!, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:37, archived)

I am well.
I hope you die.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:42, archived)

Reporting this to the mods.

(dozers You big spazzer!, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:15, archived)

I love you

( $$ ✅, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:12, archived)

I'm by the sea. One of the dogs tried to eat a crab. It didn't go very well for either creature.
We had a crab funeral. I cried.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:15, archived)

sending thoughts and prayers your way

( $$ ✅, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:18, archived)

Oh, yeah.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:41, archived)

Hi

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:46, archived)

There's a spa here.
Should I get a hot stone massage?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:54, archived)

If you want to, sure
It's not my cup of tea, but if that's the sort of thing you enjoy, why not!
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:56, archived)

I want to use the complimentary spa time, but I also want to limit the amount of time a stranger is touching me.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:59, archived)

Ah, I see
What other services do they offer? You're right, it'd be silly to pass up something free
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:01, archived)

A range of sports massage, a relaxing all body massage, a hot stone massage, a yoga session, reiki, guided meditation, skin scrape, and something called mental health through body wealth

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:06, archived)

Yikes
Seems like picking the best of a bad bunch. Fucking skin scrape?? Hells bells.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:18, archived)

why would you massage a stone, hot or otherwise?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:56, archived)

You can romance a stone, so massaging it's the next logical step.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:58, archived)

Happy ending?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:00, archived)

You can get blood from a stone, so you can get...etc. etc.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:03, archived)

can do the shing-a-ling like I do

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:51, archived)

Who put the bomp in the bompty bompty bomp

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:55, archived)

mcbeef

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:57, archived)

some sex offender

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:07, archived)

I could watch Jenna Fischer jump around to that, all day
Apologies to those who have no idea what I'm talking about
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:57, archived)

jump around to that
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 8:58, archived)

I'd like to know what you're on about.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:00, archived)

Some might say 'NSFW'
i.imgur.com/QRirFIy.mp4
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:14, archived)

This is a family forum mate.
If manolith wasn't dead you'd be for it.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:15, archived)

HE works for ME
I've got all of these damn mods in my pocket
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:17, archived)

And manolith is giving a high five.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:20, archived)

I don't know what you're talking about but that won't stop me googling images of her in the nip

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:01, archived)

I don't know what you're talking about,
but at least I got dressed.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:16, archived)

Does it better
Makes me feel sad for the rest.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:01, archived)

Recent bond themes have been disappointing

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:08, archived)

Sam Smith, Garbage, Jack White & Alicia Keys, Madonna
We are looking at you.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:17, archived)

Same Smith has a terrible voice, and can't really carry a tune.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:21, archived)

What was the last one that you could definitively call a 'classic'?
Living Daylights, maybe? Has there been a decent one since then?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:20, archived)

I liked the Casino Royal one,

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:23, archived)

You Know My Name is a decent song

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:33, archived)

I reckon the last proper one might be that Tina Turner Goldeneye one.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:25, archived)

Oh yeah

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:28, archived)

That Sam Smith nonsense was horrendous.
Adele's effort in Skyfall at least had the decency to sound like a Bond theme.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:22, archived)

I reckon Skee-lo should do one

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:29, archived)

and then, he should 'do one'

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:30, archived)

Perhaps as a duet with Danielle Bregoli.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:34, archived)

Defo
I love everything she does
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:36, archived)

howbowdah

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:51, archived)

oh shit
what have I done?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:52, archived)

Right, I've Googled her.
How are you supposed to pronounce "bhad bhabie"? Are the haitches silent or is it supposed to sound really breathy?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:47, archived)

god you're so square
no wonder your kids hate you so much
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:50, archived)

Pogs are still cool though, right?
_{Disclaimer: I've no idea what a pog is.}
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:54, archived)

I know what they are
but I never really understood what they were for. They were like big tiddly-winks, right? No idea.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:58, archived)

lol tiddly

( $$ ✅, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:59, archived)

hahaha
u nutter
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:59, archived)

lol

( broadsword w⚓, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 10:33, archived)

Dunno.
Simpsons mentions them quite a bit, but I assume they're one of those things that didn't really make it across the Atlantic.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 10:00, archived)

Oh no, we had them over here

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 10:01, archived)

Wikipedia has the game as "milk caps".
Looks completely unfamiliar.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 10:23, archived)

I think it was one of these flash in a pan things
that if you weren't a certain age, it would've passed you by
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 10:26, archived)

Probably too old.
Marbles was my playground game.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 10:33, archived)

You've basically got two options.
You can treat it as Hebew and say "b'had b'habie", or you can decide it's Scots Gaelic and read it as a kind of breathy 'v'.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 10:03, archived)

I don't really like either, to be honest.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 10:17, archived)

This was potentially the song
For Quantum of Solace
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:40, archived)

That's more like it
Mind you....here comes Bond

www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4IiktFp3p4

Worth considering
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:43, archived)

The next film ought to feature the main character rapping his own theme.
That ought to reconnect the franchise with the youth demographic.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:50, archived)

While dressed in a tracksuit and brandishing a bottle of WKD.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:56, archived)

Name's Bond, innit blud?
James Bond, ya get me fam? Licensed to get lit, yeah!

That is how the kids talk, I presume?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 10:09, archived)

If Kingsman's anything to go by, yeah.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 10:27, archived)

Safe.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 10:31, archived)

looks like it's you
morning all. another cunty day at work so be good, yeah?
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:10, archived)

Mods are busy. Post skinks.

       __  ,
      (' \ \
       \ \\/ 
     '\/\ \\
         \ \\/\,
          \ \\
          /\ \\
          \ `\\\
          '   `\\
                \\
                 \\
                  \\    ,
                   `---'  
            

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:13, archived)

Do cullen skinks count?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:42, archived)

x

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:15, archived)

Jesus be with you

( $$ ✅, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:22, archived)

don't worry I'll keep an eye on things here for you

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Oct 2017, 9:42, archived)

Thread, miscellaneous thoughts, for the airing of.
Alt: best drunken messages sent/received

Altalt: baws
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 13:57, archived)

"Leaving now, be home in about half an hour"
I sent that to my wife once I'd left the pub, after my work's christmas do last year. Wild, right?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:23, archived)

sounds like your wife does the plumbing in the house

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:24, archived)

I don't quite understand this reference
but it sounds jolly rude!
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:29, archived)

more jolly than rude

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:29, archived)

Not wild if sent from outside the pub.
Wild if sent from within the pub with a row of pints on the table.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:25, archived)

That would just be lying though

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:29, archived)

Aka 'being wildly economical with the truth'.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:33, archived)

fucking mental

( $$ ✅, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:25, archived)

I do not give a single heck, m8
I also don't send stupid text messages while drunk. Because I'm not a fool/child.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:27, archived)

might watch the screaming egg video again

( $$ ✅, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:29, archived)

I already watched it for longer than I should have
but yeah, I'm going to watch it again
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:29, archived)

this popped up as recommended
www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCeQLeQiRP4
( $$ ✅, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:30, archived)

I enjoyed that a great deal

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:33, archived)

*karate pose*

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:43, archived)

*Jesus Christ pose*

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:50, archived)

She got yer balls in a vice mate
A vice.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:36, archived)

oh

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:57, archived)

I once text a man to inform him his girlfriend was cheating on him.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:33, archived)

you did the right thing

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:34, archived)

I thank you to this day

( $$ ✅, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:35, archived)

I once got one from a housemate when I asked him where he was
first text "just outside being sick in the garden" then a text a minute later saying "waiting on a pizza delivery"
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:35, archived)

Now there's a bit of good old-fashioned pragmatism.
If you're not sick before the pizza arrives, you'll have no appetite for it.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:38, archived)

Living with male supermodels is the WORST

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 15:20, archived)

muff

( $$ ✅, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 11:10, archived)

guff

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 11:12, archived)

Mary Hinge

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 11:13, archived)

betty swollocks

( sock more tea vicar?, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 11:15, archived)

Pucking frick

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 11:27, archived)

Hands up if you've seen one

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 11:18, archived)

I don't want to share personal information online

( $$ ✅, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 11:20, archived)

So you haven't then

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 11:33, archived)

I can neither confirm or deny

( $$ ✅, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 11:43, archived)

See me if you've put your hands up one

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 11:27, archived)

pervert

( $$ ✅, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 11:28, archived)

I'm just as god made me

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 11:30, archived)

?
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 11:35, archived)

well they got the glasses right
Although I should, I don't wear a wig
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 11:40, archived)

must be about due to wheel this one out again
imgur.com/a/IrxSY
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 11:54, archived)

good old Whiffy

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 11:58, archived)

manolith did a better version with the stink lines

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 11:59, archived)

I almost wish he hadn't died :(

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 12:02, archived)

we'll all be better off without him in the long run
you'll see
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 12:07, archived)

Should I wash my hands before seeing you?

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 11:34, archived)

I'll let you see one if you put your hands up Two Hats.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 11:49, archived)

I'd put two fists in him if he'd allow it

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 12:23, archived)

Oh, well now this is going too far.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 12 Oct 2017, 11:35, archived)

If you took me to the coast, none of this would have happened.

( $$ ✅, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 11:38, archived)

I've just seen a sign advertising rest-bite care.
It is respite normally yeah? Or is this a case of me being stupid?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 12 Oct 2017, 11:48, archived)

oh dear
you're right
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 11:50, archived)

Is rest-bite a thing at all?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 12 Oct 2017, 11:53, archived)

www.roadchef.com/our-brands-restbite
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 11:55, archived)

wow
today I learned
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 11:57, archived)

I'm not happy about it

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 12 Oct 2017, 11:59, archived)

me either

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 12:01, archived)

Maybe it's a mosquito net?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 11:58, archived)

That would be resist bite, no?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 12 Oct 2017, 11:59, archived)

Take a rest from the bites, with our RestBite™ mosquito net.
RestBite: we care about malaria prevention.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 12:01, archived)

€€

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 11:37, archived)

you know it

( $$ ✅, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 11:39, archived)

ruff

(dzee, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 12:07, archived)

in the jungle bizness

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 12:22, archived)

PuFF!

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 12:23, archived)

Please don't use b3ta as an outlet for homophobia, or your posts will be deleted and your account banned.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 12:27, archived)

What has the world come to, when we're not even allowed to talk about magic dragons any more?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 12:28, archived)

dolphins like rainbows

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 12:47, archived)

internet like burning

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 12:50, archived)

nuff
said
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 12:48, archived)

good evening
so how are you planning to get through the long winter evenings once the clocks go back, will you be drinking and crying, or do you have other plans? tell me. tell everyone. make it up if you like, nobody's going to know.
( vladimir, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 21:31, archived)

Might watch the Star Wars trailer again

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 21:37, archived)

whoah steady on, it's only going to be dark until late february, don't bite off more than you can chew

( vladimir, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 21:41, archived)

Even at 1/16384 speed there's probably still time

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 21:43, archived)

I reckon the princess and luke both die, there, that's finished that arc off, now please care about these new people

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 21:46, archived)

it's like the archers really isn't it, but in space
I hate the archers
( vladimir, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 21:59, archived)

I swear it goes on for about five hours on a sunday morning, I keep forgetting and put the tranny on at the hour to hear the news, and it's that shit instead

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 22:03, archived)

^^^^^

( vladimir, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 22:06, archived)

i just switch over to radio 5 to get angry about politicians and journalists instead
plus getting stabbed in the ear every two minutes by a shouty jingle eventually gets me out of bed to switch it off and put some music on instead. fucking christians taking over radio 3 all morning too. cunts.
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 22:14, archived)

ah yes 3...
seem to have had some kind of collective nervous breakdown in recent times. or perhaps an identity crisis. country's going to the dogs
( vladimir, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 22:18, archived)

Cool, I'm going to the dogs boxing day

( mongychops, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 22:20, archived)

alright mongy
why wait that long
( vladimir, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 22:26, archived)

I might get upset online

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 11 Oct 2017, 22:09, archived)

what's with the antisemitic bollocks, windy

( vladimir, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 22:17, archived)

I found it online.
I felt it needed to be shared
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 11 Oct 2017, 22:21, archived)

I see

( vladimir, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 22:27, archived)

You'd be amazed the sort of stuff people believe.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 11 Oct 2017, 22:28, archived)

windy, you're right. I would
OK that's it for me for tonight, goodnight talk
( vladimir, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 22:33, archived)

Goodnight lovely Vlad

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 11 Oct 2017, 22:36, archived)

oh man I only came online at this time to see you

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 23:32, archived)

Stevie Wonder's attempt at ghost writing 'needs more work'

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 23:37, archived)

The new Blade Runner was alright I thought, but then I just saw Ferris Bueller at the cinema and enjoyed that as well.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 23:09, archived)

dolphins are just gay sharks
not my words, I'm pc ya'll
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 21:29, archived)

www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/29/dolphins-bisexuality-homosexuality-study-_n_1388330.html
( vladimir, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 21:33, archived)

What?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 18:39, archived)

Piss off

( mongychops, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 18:55, archived)

Oh COME ON

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 19:01, archived)

I shan't and I make no apologies for that

( mongychops, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 19:09, archived)

Well I may not like it
But by GOD I respect it
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 19:13, archived)

Alright Aretha

( mongychops, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 19:22, archived)

A u +r
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 19:24, archived)

Bumholes

( broadsword w⚓, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 19:08, archived)

http://www.b3ta.com/talk/8121497

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 19:09, archived)

OK, I'm going to resist my urge to watch the Last Jedi trailer.
What's just struck me as stupid, though, is that searching for "Last Jedi trailer" on YouTube throws up two or three results for the trailer itself and twenty results for twenty-minute 'analyses' of the trailer by neckbeards suffocating in a cloud of acne spores and Cheeto dust who haven't even seen the film yet. Shut the fuck up, you fat cunts.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 19:23, archived)

I've not seen any of these new films as my kids have no interest in some old shit franchise, so I'd suggest to you grow up a 15 year old girl and a 13 year old boy consider you a manchild

( mongychops, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 19:28, archived)

I could do that.
Or I could hold your head against the pavement and stamp on your bottom jaw so that all your lower teeth fall from the pulverised remnants of your bones, then paint a 3D-effect fresco on the concrete with the pointy roots of your teeth dipped in your blood.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 19:30, archived)

But you couldn't, stop living in a fantasy world like a brain damaged child

( mongychops, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 19:33, archived)

Learn how to use commas and hyphens, you illiterate spacker.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 19:35, archived)

Upset

( mongychops, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 19:43, archived)

no u

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 19:44, archived)

Perhaps I should watch a kids film trailer instead of making a big deal about it ONLINE

( mongychops, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 19:47, archived)

No, you should learn how to use apostrophes.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 19:47, archived)

I'm not sure I should, I'm not giving a damn to them, grow up

( mongychops, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 19:49, archived)

Y lern grammer wen u can trol pipl on teh internetz.,;?! LOlz!

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 19:50, archived)

You drunk? I hope so

( mongychops, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 19:52, archived)

^ upset and angry on the internet

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 19:54, archived)

Turns 360 and walks away

( mongychops, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 19:54, archived)

This is all very mortal wombat

( mongychops, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 19:44, archived)

I think something is going wrong for him.and he's taking it out on you.
We should try to be understanding
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 11 Oct 2017, 19:47, archived)

I'll try windy , he seems to be struggling with this bit of the forum

( mongychops, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 19:50, archived)

We all have bad days.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 11 Oct 2017, 20:11, archived)

His inner neckbeard is coming across as pretty defensive.
Maybe he made one of those 'analysis' videos. I think that must be it.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 19:51, archived)

MORTAL WOMBAT!
May the 90s house music and shitty acting commence.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 19:47, archived)

Bit embarrassing m8

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 19:47, archived)

no u

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 19:49, archived)

you fucking heard

( $$ ✅, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 19:36, archived)

I'm not having that

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 11 Oct 2017, 19:43, archived)

go toe to toe with him

( $$ ✅, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 19:45, archived)

Uh, I lost all my toes in a toe wrestling accident.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 11 Oct 2017, 19:47, archived)

The bent bloke in france seems upset enough to fight

( mongychops, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 19:48, archived)

Keep going! Keep going!
Your passive-aggressive whining is giving me the horn.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 19:56, archived)

What's going on yeti?
Why are you getting at mongy, he's always been the way he is. Why now?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 11 Oct 2017, 20:00, archived)

He's giving me dis, Winders. Dis for dis's sake and I can't be having that. Got to front it and show I ain't no punk, y'see?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 20:03, archived)

Oh, you've been drinking

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 11 Oct 2017, 20:04, archived)

No, I really haven't. He's just getting butthurt because he can dish it out but he can't take it.
If you're going to bring the bantz, you're going to get served the bantz in return and that's the way it works.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 20:07, archived)

I don't want to be the bearer of bad news,
And I like you yeti, you know that, but you're not coming across as well as you think you are.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 11 Oct 2017, 20:09, archived)

I'm well aware that I've been coming across as a judgemental git since the start of this subthread,
what with my railing against neckbeards and my anal obsession with form rather than content. I blame the elderly tramp on the metro earlier who gave me a broad smile to make me give up my seat for him and then spent the rest of the journey spewing a series of incoherent racist and sexist remarks directed at the women in the carriage, all of whom apparently had it in for him.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 20:14, archived)

Dish what out? And I've taken everything , you being upset and threatening me doesn't scare me, I just worry about you

( mongychops, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 20:32, archived)

Come on, now: be honest. You did say that your children would think of me as a man-child.
That's hardly a positive endorsement. In fact, it sounds a little bit like 'dis' to me.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 20:44, archived)

You are refusing to watch a kids film trailer, although you will before the film comes out I bet, I can text my kids this thread - see what they think

( mongychops, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 20:52, archived)

Please do - I'd love to hear the opinion of a couple of random teenagers.
And we'll see whether I've watched the trailer by the time the film comes out, but I'm going to take your bet.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 21:05, archived)

Dunno Hatso.
Probably just coughing.
I coughed so hard in the shower this morning that I puked.
I've got through nearly two bottles of cough mixture today.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 11 Oct 2017, 20:06, archived)

Have you started hallucinating yet?
That stuff's apparently excellent for tripping balls.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 20:09, archived)

Have you tried getting some new lungs?
I know a bloke on the Abingdon market swears he can get anything
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 11 Oct 2017, 20:10, archived)

Crazy Dave's Organs Emporium?
Nah, I've seen where he gets his bits from.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 11 Oct 2017, 20:15, archived)

He's a nice fella though

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 11 Oct 2017, 20:19, archived)

Nobody uses Dave anymore
I always go to "Ooh You Are Offal", just off the King's road
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 20:23, archived)

Oh lah Di dah, fancy kings road organs.
You've changed
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 11 Oct 2017, 20:29, archived)

I won't apologise for being successful
*points nose in the air*
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 20:34, archived)

Can he get me a toe by three o'clock?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 20:19, archived)

I'm sending as much love as I can currently spare, the LOVELY stuj
God speed
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 20:22, archived)

Now the mod has gone.
I think that globalism is a Jewish force. It was created by Jews and promulgated by Jews as a way of centralizing control of the human race.

Jews don't want to only destroy Western civilization. They want to destroy all civilization that isn't theirs. This concept is taught throughout the Bible and the Talmud - that Jews are the supreme beings of Earth and are destined to subjugate and rule the rest of the world.

Western civilization has been their primary target, because they thought they'd successfully infiltrated it thanks to the spread of Christianity, which was entirely contrived to control people - why else would you have a religion based on a doctrine of pacifism and "turning the other cheek"? Pacifism doesn't actually work in real life, but it does a bang-up job of teaching people that fighting back is a sin if your rulers are put into place by your god.

And hey, guess what? Christians believe Jews are god's chosen people! Funny how that works.

When you start looking into the history of Judaism and how it has influenced every civilization it has come into contact with, it becomes a lot more obvious just how much control they have (or think they have).

Communism was invented by Jews. It was propagated by Jews. Communist revolutions all over the planet in the 20th century were financed and backed by Jews. Communism failed to take hold in the United States, so they've had to resort to other methods of destroying America. You know, like establishing their own bank with the ability to print money (the Federal Reserve) while rejecting any requests to audit said bank and ensure that nothing shady is going on, or taking US currency off the gold standard in order to weaken our economy and devalue our currency. They control a great deal of media in the United States and exert more control than anyone will admit over our federal government.

You're welcome to laugh all this off and say "hah, you tin-hatters are so stupid!", but before you do that, do some research on your own. Find out who Karl Marx is, what he actually taught, and how communist revolutions started in numerous countries. Research US currency and how and why we were forced by FDR to submit to a currency scheme destined for economic collapse. Look into why Jews have been kicked out of so many countries in the past. It's not because people "just don't like Jews". It's because Jews have been conniving, cheating, deceitful, dishonest, and treasonous in every single society where they have existed.

And that's not "because they are just evil". It's because their religious doctrine demands it of them. They are taught to hoard money and power and take control, because it's their prophetic destiny to rule the world.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 11 Oct 2017, 12:55, archived)

I didn't know you were a Yank pugso.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 11 Oct 2017, 12:58, archived)

I'm a man of the world

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 11 Oct 2017, 13:00, archived)

The Wandering Ginge.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 11 Oct 2017, 13:01, archived)

Oh Ahasureus
(dozers You big spazzer!, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 13:06, archived)

You're just saying what we're all thinking.

(dozers You big spazzer!, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 12:59, archived)

hah, you tin-hatters are so stupid!

( $$ ✅, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 13:01, archived)

Wake up. Sheeple

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 11 Oct 2017, 13:01, archived)

Stop hacking people's accounts, Boyce.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 13:03, archived)

I've hidden some skinks in there too to really upset the mods.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 11 Oct 2017, 13:06, archived)

Do you have a pamphlet that I could take home and read later?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 13:20, archived)

rationalwiki.org/wiki/International_Jewish_conspiracy
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 11 Oct 2017, 13:24, archived)

could you print it out and tri-fold if for me, please?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 13:26, archived)

I'll guff it on you

( $$ ✅, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 13:28, archived)

cheers

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 13:30, archived)

So you're saying they're Ferengi?

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 13:23, archived)

^This

( H.B.Mupps, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 15:32, archived)

This deserves an instant ban

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 13:27, archived)

My grandad told me that Jews have big noses because air is free.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 13:30, archived)

well he's half right

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 13:30, archived)

half extreme
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 13:30, archived)

His missus would get off the bus if a black person got on.
I sometimes wonder if he joined the wrong army for WWII.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 13:41, archived)

You are the grandson of Oswald Mosley AICMFP.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 13:45, archived)

Oswald Veronica
ley er
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 13:47, archived)

*scats*

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 13:57, archived)

There was a bloke on the metro this morning with a huge nose.
I didn't ask him if he was Jewish, though.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 13:33, archived)

wait what I've been paying for mine
THROUGH THE NOSE!!!!!!


jajajaja
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 13:33, archived)

^now THIS is funny

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 13:34, archived)

anti-zionist

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 13:46, archived)

Jew Greater Manchester Bus Transport
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 14:25, archived)

They're not wrong though
Read the Talmud and the Old Testament carefully and you'll see that "Jahweh" is actually the sun.
And we're all sun worshippers aren't we ?
( CanonCaliber A big bore, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 14:39, archived)

Who asked you?
Seriously. WHO. IN THE FUCK. ASKED YOU.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 14:47, archived)

Sorry CanonCaliber, I don't know where that came from
That's not me speaking, ok? I've just had a lot on recently, yeah?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 14:53, archived)

OK but you need a beach holiday
Somewhere hot and sunny and relaxing....try Eilat on the Red Sea.
( CanonCaliber A big bore, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 15:01, archived)

are you serious? a beach holiday would kill him
he's wearing shorts in this weather and is still too hot and uncomfortable
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 15:07, archived)

I don't think he listens to anything twohats says,
He's so self absorbed.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 11 Oct 2017, 15:09, archived)

Shhh
That's the idea!
( CanonCaliber A big bore, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 15:11, archived)

You've made a powerful enemy, my friend
a powerful enemy
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 15:26, archived)

it was a fair point
I mean, sure, there are different ways of putting these things, but you shouldn't have to change who you are just to please CanonCaliber
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 15:02, archived)

you always know what to say x

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 15:27, archived)

She's
broken
because
she
believed
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 14:47, archived)

think about it yeah

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 14:47, archived)

ok, that just blew my mind wide open

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 14:48, archived)

I hate this sort of thing more than I should.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 11 Oct 2017, 14:59, archived)

jews, you mean?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 15:06, archived)

Them too.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 11 Oct 2017, 15:08, archived)

cherem for you

( $$ ✅, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 15:10, archived)

I quite like this.
What's it from?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 14:57, archived)

From some fucking edgy 14 year old probably.
You fucking stupid fucking dumb cut.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 11 Oct 2017, 14:58, archived)

If you hold a light bulb in your hand, can you light it up with the force of your anger?
Like Uncle Fester?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 15:14, archived)

I'd eat it.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 11 Oct 2017, 15:15, archived)

probably from a john green novel

( $$ ✅, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 15:12, archived)

bent

( $$ ✅, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 15:00, archived)

Hyper bent.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 11 Oct 2017, 15:01, archived)

Can't be bothered with that.
A student passed out in the shower and blocked the plughole with their bum.
Flooded the whole building pretty much before they woke up.
Who else is having a worse day than you?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 11 Oct 2017, 11:16, archived)

probly donkiddick who's just been outed as a nonce

( broadsword w⚓, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 11:20, archived)

Yeah, but nonces can fuck off

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 11 Oct 2017, 11:21, archived)

Well, his name is Don Kid Dick.
Bit of a giveaway really.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 11:23, archived)

OK, this made me do a lol.
We've managed to piss off two clients at the same time because our IT people are wazzocks and can't configure a spam filter properly, so all e-mails coming from an entire country (where the two clients are based) are just bounced automatically. They don't even end up in the spam filter. So we get orders that go unnoticed for a fortnight.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 11:22, archived)

Brilliant.
I love IT. The team here are serious picks.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 11 Oct 2017, 11:23, archived)

Proper Vosloos

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 12:20, archived)

A guy at work, of whom I am very fond, is on holiday at the moment
and in his absence, a HUGE amount of fuck-ups, caused or ignored by him, have been discovered. Me and another guy are doing our best to fix it all, but he is in for some shit when he gets back.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 11:26, archived)

It's brought a whole bunch of things to light about how he manages his workload
and I'm a bit worried about him, to be honest. What should I do, Windy?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 11:27, archived)

The Windy Pig approach is to see him crushed before you and take a promotion.
I suggest you follow his teachings.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 11:32, archived)

ok, I can do that

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 11:32, archived)

lol, my mate was saying one of the accountants left his work and they discovered loads of the grants he was managaging were 100's of thousands in debt because he'd not bothered to tell academics their budgets were low.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 11:33, archived)

yikes

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 11:34, archived)

make a pass at him

( $$ ✅, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 11:46, archived)

Who, Windy?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 11:49, archived)

light him up

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 11:58, archived)

Sorry mate,
I've been busy, but I wasn't ignoring you. The best course of action is to light him up.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 11 Oct 2017, 12:30, archived)

On it

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 12:41, archived)

So how's he managed to fuck up so bad?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 11 Oct 2017, 12:45, archived)

Lots of things, really
I think the main thing is that he simply forgets to do things, then they get buried under a pile of shit. He then tells people he's either done it, or it's in hand...neither of which are true.
Also, he has a knack of pretending that he understands something when he doesn't. He doesn't get that it's OK to put your hand up and ask for help. Instead, he muddles through, gets it wrong, then everything needs to be re-worked.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 12:48, archived)

Does he not have some sort of line management, though?
Surely the point of line management is to police these things and correct them where required.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 12:49, archived)

well yeah
but they don't directly monitor what we're doing. They ask how it's going, and we say 'fine'. The shit only hits the fan when someone outside the team notices, generally.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 12:52, archived)

how long until you are found out then?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 13:00, archived)

I know you like him.
But he sounds like a knob.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 11 Oct 2017, 12:51, archived)

Oh, he is in a lot of ways
As a person, he's great. I dunno, it's difficult to explain here.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 12:52, archived)

sounds like it got sexual at one point

( $$ ✅, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 12:54, archived)

Nah, I get it.
There are some lovely people who aren't the best at their job.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 11 Oct 2017, 12:54, archived)

Loosen the bolts on his chair so it collapses when he first sits down then has to have even more time off

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 12:48, archived)

An interesting article
www.hodinkee.com/articles/four-revolutions-quartz-revolution
( mongychops, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 11:32, archived)

i am fond of the Keith Haring ones

( $$ ✅, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 11:42, archived)

ing ris
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 11:49, archived)

I hate that duck

( $$ ✅, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 11:58, archived)

I hate that too, hen.

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 12:07, archived)

lol, morons!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 12:08, archived)

I had a load of swatches in the 80s

( mongychops, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 11:50, archived)

Haberdashers HATE him!

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 12:40, archived)

I am stuck on a train
With 2 mentals and a clearly worthless copy of a shit oil painting, on my way to an auction house for a valuation. I will then have to cope with said mentals insisting the auctioneer is wrong.
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 11:51, archived)

I'll give you 50 quid for it.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 11 Oct 2017, 12:31, archived)

£20-30 estimate

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 13:24, archived)

Buttplug lolz

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 11:57, archived)

excellent

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 12:16, archived)

Colleague has spent the last hour going through the m&s website commenting on how expensive all the food is.

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 12:07, archived)

What's it like working with aspies?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 12:24, archived)

Much like being on here oh lolololol

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 12:27, archived)

*canned laughter*

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 12:28, archived)

*6 seconds of slap bass*

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 12:32, archived)

b
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 12:32, archived)

you

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 12:29, archived)

I wanna take you to a gay bar

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 12:35, archived)

I like that song.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 12:38, archived)

Join moi quest to Bring Back Electric Six

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 12:42, archived)

14 full length albums?? Fucking hell

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 12:43, archived)

Oh wow! Technofear!
The machines are ganging up on me...

...I just had an error message come up, "invalid nonce". That's a fucking cheek - at best I am a bit shortsighted, and have a dicky hip.
(donkiddick, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 11:09, archived)

fucking mental!

( $$ ✅, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 11:09, archived)

It's a while since I worked in tech support but I believe that message means operation yewtree have been informed of your activities

( broadsword w⚓, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 11:12, archived)

fuck off you fucking stupid fucking cunt

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 11:13, archived)

easy now
it's a family forum
( $$ ✅, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 11:16, archived)

Nonce is a cryptographic term as well as one for a diddler.
I know this because I did a cryptography course and kept sniggering.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 11:23, archived)

It’s a cryptographic thing you wouldn’t understand

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 13:15, archived)

Who fancies living in a
metal box?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 10:34, archived)

I'm pretty sure 1980s band Living in a Box would!

( $$ ✅, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 10:37, archived)

lol!
lol!
And thrice lol!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 10:40, archived)

There was an ad on London Rental Opportunity of the Week about this.
Someone was saying that they had a 'flat' to rent, when the 'flat' was a fucking Portacabin in the middle of a car park just outside Dublin.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 10:37, archived)

I liked the one that was a small shed in someone's lounge.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 10:39, archived)

There are some real gems on that site.
Did you see the one that was a bed, behind a screen, in someone's lounge? And they actually interviewed a guy who used to live in one of the 'properties' they featured.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 10:41, archived)

It's a real parade of horrors.
Reckon my kids will never leave home, and I'll end up living in a granny annexe, to spare them from the bullshit of the private rental market.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 10:45, archived)

yeah, alright

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 10:46, archived)

I've got the budget version, that's got no windows or furnishings.
I'm sure you'll be very comfortable.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 10:50, archived)

time to break out the condoms and SoCo and lime

( $$ ✅, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 10:53, archived)

not a shed = not interested

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 11:04, archived)

Mornwhatevas.
Whatevs and stuff, like.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 8:15, archived)

morn

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 8:17, archived)

drmbl +i +e

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 8:19, archived)

Hi m8

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 11 Oct 2017, 8:17, archived)

Porcine Ventilation Man

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 8:19, archived)

Today is a good day.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 11 Oct 2017, 9:14, archived)

^ won't even have to use his AK

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 9:23, archived)

ok

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 8:40, archived)

That's the kind of enthusiastic commitment we like around here.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 8:41, archived)

He did so, and she said: "Thou shalt not go from me; for I am afraid: I am not used to looking on the face of death."
She had left her candle by my bed, and her little offerings on the coverlet by me. If I had stood an atom less in terror of goblins than I did, I should have followed her, but I was afraid. I stood in my bare feet at my bedside, and kissed the poor little ring and put it on my finger, where it has remained ever since and always shall. And when I lay down, longing for morning, the image of her pale, imploring, penitential face was before me for hours; and I repented bitterly of my cool provoking ways, and thought myself, I dare say justly, a thousand times more to blame than Milly.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 8:58, archived)

Kiss my ring.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 9:00, archived)

I always thought "Uncle Silas" sounded like a character from Thomas Hardy.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 9:14, archived)

hi friends

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 8:40, archived)

*group hugs*

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 8:41, archived)

Fine

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 8:41, archived)

+ be like that

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 8:45, archived)

use the finger, the middle-one
as it's mid-week's-day and what-not
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 8:58, archived)

I'm an equal-opportunity fingerer.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 9:15, archived)

Listened to The Omen on my drive to work.
Top stuff. Morning, all.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 8:59, archived)

I'm listening to Muse over here.
It's ace.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 9:15, archived)

Good singles, crap albums.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 9:24, archived)

I've just got the YouTube playlist fired up.
Not all of it is excellent, but there are a fair few good tunes on there.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 9:25, archived)

That's the way to do it.
If they put out a Best Of, it'd probably be pretty good.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 9:27, archived)

Tell me more, tell me more
Like, did he have a car?
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 9:07, archived)

uh huh uh huh uh huh uh huh

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 9:11, archived)

Greasy.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 9:16, archived)

SHOODA-BOP BOP

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 9:24, archived)

We have also a more sure word of prophecy; whereunto ye do well that ye take heed, as unto a light that shineth in a dark place, until the day dawn, and the day star arise in your hearts
( $$ ✅, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 9:09, archived)

Star anise? Lends an exotic, heady fragrance to your rice dishes, and looks like an anus.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 9:20, archived)

Yeah cool morning yeah

( broadsword w⚓, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 9:34, archived)

Innit bruv like
*East 17 hand gestures*
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 9:36, archived)

The 90s were so cool
but it's the hat like a teat that really sells it.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 9:40, archived)

It's like an erect Rasta crown for a white boy with no hair.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 9:47, archived)

morning

(dozers You big spazzer!, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 8:00, archived)

ing

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 8:17, archived)

'NINGLES!!!!

(dozers You big spazzer!, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 8:20, archived)

good nightning
I have no idea yet when/whether I am going to sleep but I bet you have prepared your warm milk or brandy in front of the fireplace already to make you sleepy.
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 10 Oct 2017, 20:57, archived)

slippers on, pipe in hand
lol
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Tue 10 Oct 2017, 21:00, archived)

that's not a pipe

( vladimir, Tue 10 Oct 2017, 21:45, archived)

more of a pipette

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 10 Oct 2017, 21:49, archived)

manoliiiiiith xxxxx

( vladimir, Tue 10 Oct 2017, 21:52, archived)

Just had a mug of horlicks, watched the latest episode of Discovery.
Quiet end to a fairly hectic evening.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 10 Oct 2017, 22:47, archived)

morng

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 6:07, archived)

in

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 11 Oct 2017, 6:37, archived)

HANDS UP, if you use Right Guard!
HANDS DOWN, if you don't!

'member?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 10 Oct 2017, 15:36, archived)

I bet she does

( $$ ✅, Tue 10 Oct 2017, 15:48, archived)

I thought this would get more attention
I can't help but feel responsible for killing the momentum of this otherwise effervescent forum
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 10 Oct 2017, 16:01, archived)

the world's against us

( $$ ✅, Tue 10 Oct 2017, 16:24, archived)

this is well good
www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vjq6YQVN_s
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 10 Oct 2017, 16:27, archived)

this is going to be my ringtone

( $$ ✅, Tue 10 Oct 2017, 16:28, archived)

If I knew how to change mine
I'd join you
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 10 Oct 2017, 16:30, archived)

this gets better with every watch

( $$ ✅, Tue 10 Oct 2017, 16:43, archived)

on the other hand
i.imgur.com/weFb1Tt.jpg
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 10 Oct 2017, 16:25, archived)

lol

( $$ ✅, Tue 10 Oct 2017, 16:26, archived)

If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit
join our club
it's an anal sex club
( broadsword w⚓, Tue 10 Oct 2017, 16:00, archived)

Trios are back on the shelves, again.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 10 Oct 2017, 16:05, archived)

I'm waiting for the return of Yo-Yo's.
Viscounts can do one.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 10 Oct 2017, 16:06, archived)

DAVIDSON: It's only a game son, snookerin' yoo t'noight!
VIRGO: Vote Labour.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 10 Oct 2017, 16:01, archived)

Alright, Jasper Carrot.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 10 Oct 2017, 16:03, archived)

alright

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 10 Oct 2017, 16:11, archived)

I worked in insurance for a while, not as many amusing anecdotes in the insurance world as he would have you believe
I did get a cheque from Mrs I Swallow though
( broadsword w⚓, Tue 10 Oct 2017, 16:25, archived)