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December the 24th (CET) be with you
and good night
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 23:12, archived)
I went to the panto, then made mulled cider.
Pretty christmassy evening, I reckon.
(, Sun 24 Dec 2017, 0:22, archived)
Yessup, jenkem, Chrimbo.

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 18:17, archived)
Not until new years

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 18:56, archived)
Last year my brother offered my dad cocaine at the dinner table on Christmas day.
This year he is actually not working Christmas eve so is coming to a party with family friends. Gonna be good I reckon.
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 19:01, archived)
just drove 5 hours in the snow with a clenched arsehole
unleashed anal devestation upon arrival at my in-laws and collapsed for a four-hour nap.

I'm finally in the Christmas spirit.
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 19:10, archived)
Devastation.

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 19:19, archived)
^The Besnard Lakes

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 19:21, archived)
I spent the afternoon in the pub then bowled round lidl and sainos to do the christmas shop.
I've got 2 bottles of wine and some rum for christmas day. Might get some beer tomorrow when I'm at the laundrette.
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 19:34, archived)
I bought some shit hot Italian gin.

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 19:38, archived)
Got tickets for Craig Charles funk and soul on the 27th.
Have you tried Aldi's gin? I keep telling my old dear to get it as she likes her gin and doesn't believe me it's shit-hot.
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 19:41, archived)
No.
But I got a decent Aldi single malt from secret Santa.
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 19:44, archived)
Redbreast for dad and a greenspot for me.

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 19:45, archived)
didn't know Gruffallo merchandise included booze

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 20:00, archived)
What are you on about?

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 20:29, archived)
Probably some embarrassingly shit 'metal'.

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 21:33, archived)
Their Speyside has been out of stock in mine since it won that award :(

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 20:13, archived)
Glen Marnoch?
That's what I got from Furtive Father Christmas.
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 20:51, archived)
Oh yeah, Morrisons do a decent own brand gin for 15 quid, their London Dry.

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 19:45, archived)
Lol.

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 19:45, archived)
I'm at me dad's place and there's like no beer or owt.
My dad's virtually teetotal.
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 19:39, archived)
Sounds fucking shit

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 19:44, archived)
He has a dedicated beer fridge in the kitchen but it's full of wood glue.
Luckily he has a larger dedicated beer fridge in the front room and there's more chance of there being something worthwhile in there.
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 19:46, archived)
it's not wood glue m8
it's his own spunk stored in PVA bottles for easier artificial insemination. He's got a decent ebay racket going for married lesbians and you've got more siblings than an ant colony.
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 20:03, archived)


(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 20:20, archived)
it's more plausible than a dedicated glue fridge

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 20:44, archived)
Not if you've converted a room of your house into a woodworking workshop, like my dad has.
Lol, "wood working".
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 20:48, archived)
he's a one-man sperm bank
and you're drinking from his Masturbatorium.
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 20:51, archived)
shut up m8

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 20:53, archived)
my inlaws are teetotal
but my brother in law just dropped off a bottle of talisker to aid my recovery.
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 19:58, archived)
He's a keeper.

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 20:02, archived)
One of my pals has a Polish wife.
His father in law used to make moonshine in a massive jar out of berries and loads of sugar but he's banned from that now after one too many pissed festive fortnights.
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 20:45, archived)
yer, that's traditional
You can buy 95‰ Spirytus at most corner shops here if you want to knock up a batch. My wife has half a dozen bottles stewing with vanilla sticks in them for various culinary purposes.
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 20:49, archived)
I've got a gallon of isopropyl, might shove some vimto in that. I've seen everything I need to I reckon.

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 21:17, archived)
Crisis averted - there is beer in the big beer fridge.
Special mong shout-out to Feldschlösschen for releasing regular and alcohol-free versions of their beer in virtually identical cans.
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 20:29, archived)
you know what?
you know fucking what?
i think i'm ready for christmas
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 20:53, archived)
No way

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 21:02, archived)
I hope you all have a lovely time

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 23:09, archived)
Making gingerbread men
anyone else doing xmas food stuff?
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 14:44, archived)
not this year
kids aren't coming round again till after christmas and i'm not fond of biscuits and suchlike
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 14:46, archived)
These are mostly being used as gifts
where are the kids going on the day?
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 14:48, archived)
they're staying at home
my parents are going to the indian and i'm off to my older sister's house. apparently, i have a goodie bag to pick up. then we're off to lancaster on boxing day while my niece does her shift at work
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 14:52, archived)
Any plans for new years?

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 15:06, archived)
conned the parents into having a party
the spare room is already full of booze
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 15:11, archived)
good booze?
cornershop top self?
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 15:21, archived)
lots of spirits
jack daniels, smirnoff, gordon's, that kind of stuff. ton of cans, too, and everyone is bringing a bottle with them
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 15:32, archived)
sounds lovely.
I think I'll see how much port I can drink this year
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 15:36, archived)
haven't drunk port in years

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 15:49, archived)
Its sort of a christmas tradtion with me

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 15:50, archived)
my christmas traditional drink is hot chocolate on christmas morning
despite the fact i'm not overly fond of hot chocolate
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 16:02, archived)
I want to try the lidl knockoff of kraken rum

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 15:38, archived)
it's not bad

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 15:49, archived)
how much is it?

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 15:52, archived)
Slightly less than 15 quid iirc.
Their morgans spiced clone is about a tenner and fine for hot buttered rum.
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 15:55, archived)
sounds worth a try

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 15:57, archived)
£14.99, i think
their gin isn't bad, either
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 16:00, archived)
Seconding the endorsement of LIDL gin.

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 17:16, archived)
This all the endorsement I need. Cheers Smash.

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 15:57, archived)
my nearest supermarket is lidl
so i buy a lot of booze there. you know it's a shit party if i'm only forking out for cardboardeaux
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 16:03, archived)
I was pleasantly surprised by their Rioja.
Although my corkscrew didn't grip the synthetic cork properly and I had to poke it into the bottle with the handle of a wooden spoon.

I also bought some Duff beer from them purely because of the name.
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 16:16, archived)
i can't drink red wine
it makes me vomit every time
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 16:27, archived)
Unlucky.
Red wine buzz +weed is my favourite state.
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 16:37, archived)
i used to favour vodka
but it seems harsher somehow. nowadays, i stick to gin, white rum or, if i'm particularly poverty stricken, wine or cider
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 16:41, archived)
When I was a povvo stooodent I often drank 3 litres of frosty Jack's. The trick is to dump blackcurrant squash in it.

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 16:54, archived)
May you get an Aardvark for Christmas

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 15:41, archived)
will probably just order a takeaway and nail a couple of bottles of prosecco

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 15:44, archived)
I am literally lactating figgy pudding

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 16:45, archived)
Not yet.
There's some stollen in the kitchen but I haven't succumbed to the temptation yet.
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 16:59, archived)
Is Tw'Ats around? I'm in the fair city of Portsmouth!
All the buildings more than about a hundred years old are pretty cool and everything else is grim as fuck, lol.
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 10:06, archived)
I'm in the Aspire Lounge at Bristol Airport sipping a nice cold beer.
It's beginning to look a lot like I might be ready for Christmas!
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 10:14, archived)
Nice. Where you off to?

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 10:31, archived)
Mother in law's villa in Cyprus.
We're all supposed to be spending Christmas together but apparently she's fallen out with my wife and booked herself and my brother in law into a nearby hotel.

It's a Christmas miracle!
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 10:44, archived)
Now are you sure this is really happening and not the premise for a Jilly Cooper novel?

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 11:10, archived)
Lovely
Just had two weeks in Malta. Best way to beat the winter blues.
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 14:39, archived)
oh well fuck you then

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 10:33, archived)
Oh hi mano.

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 10:34, archived)
LOOK, 2H WAS THE FIRST POMPEYNIAN I COULD THINK OF, SORRY OK?

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 10:35, archived)
I just wanna get drunk and fall down

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 10:40, archived)
I'm on my second breakfast beer. I don't feel particularly drunk but hopefully they'll start to kick in more once I'm at altitude.

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 10:47, archived)
Fuck, this wifi is shit and everyone in the lounge is a prick. Are you allowed to do air rage when you're still in the airport?

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 10:53, archived)
Fucking hell, some pricks in tracksuits sat in the wrong seats and this is now everyone's problem

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 12:24, archived)
Thought they normally just squatted on the ground

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 12:39, archived)

i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/891/529/a29.png
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 14:05, archived)

and fall down come round and fuck you up
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 12:45, archived)
In Liberia with relations
probably getting high as fuck on jenkem
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 11:35, archived)
No more sleep till xmas for him then

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 11:41, archived)
sad end to a sweet man

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 11:52, archived)
I am waiting for a call
From someone who decided today is the day to buy Christmas booze. She tends to get I.D'd quite a lot and has no photo I.D so I have to buy it for her.
(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 12:54, archived)
normally I refuse to post whilst these motherfucking icons are on
but I am making an exception to say: fuck you.
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 23:18, archived)
Up yer ronson

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 23:36, archived)
lovely faag

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 23:37, archived)
Oh hi mark

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 0:33, archived)
Fubar

(, Sat 23 Dec 2017, 6:41, archived)
These days Universities should offer degrees in how to get in and out of Tescos 2 days before xmas
I've got a Masters.

Anything you still need that you forgot to get so far?
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 17:34, archived)
only eggs for christmas morning fry-up

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 17:36, archived)
I think we'll just have bacon butties.

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 17:42, archived)
it's a tradition with my family
full fry-up early on and christmas dinner about 3
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 17:58, archived)
I was going to do my food shop tomorrow.
Doing the Hairy Bikers' Lamb Vindaloo so I reckon I'll be alright for ingredients.

Need to get some booze in as well.
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 17:36, archived)
I got a bottle of Canadian Club earlier. Goes well with ginger beer and ice.

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 17:41, archived)
What that little known drink a high ball, mentioned in the book of alcoholics anonymous written in the 20s? Never heard of that

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 18:11, archived)
What I do, right, is have vodka right... and orange juice
You can have that recipe on me
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 19:43, archived)
You've got a screw loose, and I might need a tool to tighten it, a name escapes me

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 20:28, archived)
That's a superb recipe

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 18:57, archived)
fo00oooOOOoooOoOoOOOoOooOoOod

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 19:14, archived)
Shooeeuuoooouuhhh

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 19:40, archived)
Pls have some respects for addicts out there, you act like stupid kids

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 19:43, archived)
Lexi belle

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 18:07, archived)
Summer Brielle

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 18:34, archived)
Makes me feel fine, blowing through the jasmin in my mind

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 18:38, archived)
^ feelin isley mon dready

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 18:47, archived)
Sexi smelle

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 19:41, archived)
alright planearm anything good on christmas telly?

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 18:21, archived)
university has done me nothing

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 18:30, archived)
did it not get you a job?

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 18:55, archived)
+ hand

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 19:21, archived)
-

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 21:06, archived)
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way
Uncle Billy lost his Willy, on the motorway, hey! lol
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 20:38, archived)
I found it on the M4 if he wants it back

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 20:41, archived)
Good gun that

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 21:17, archived)
I don't think lost winkies are funny in the current climate

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 20:44, archived)
I've had a few winkles in my time , I enjoyed the skill of getting the winkle out, but I couldn't stand them, I gave my winkle to my grandad

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 21:19, archived)
Oh winkies

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 21:21, archived)
you came and you gave without taking

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 21:26, archived)

Bit premature then
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 21:30, archived)
TDFU
Merry Christmas Motherfuckers
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 14:30, archived)
Hell yeah.
Merry Xmas gae's.
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 14:43, archived)
Tofu?

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 14:45, archived)
tops off, fuck u

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 15:49, archived)
Now we're talking

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 16:07, archived)
well what a coincidence, I read it as tofu, too
I like tofu
tofu for christmas, that's the ticket
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 17:20, archived)
and a happy new year
2018: may it not be a shitty AIDS-wank
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 15:28, archived)
8
www.watchuseek.com/quiz-watchuseeks-2017-year-end-news-quiz/
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 15:37, archived)
4 here
it was the last 4 as well
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 15:52, archived)
Well done, surprised you got the swissness and rolex ones wrong, I clearly need to post more watch news

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 15:56, archived)
5

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 16:47, archived)
You win the watch of your choice

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 16:56, archived)
BAH BUMFUCK

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 16:09, archived)
Yessssss
Christmas shoe, mistletoe and woo
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 16:17, archived)
I'm going to try and avoid shoe this christmas

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 16:20, archived)
Today's my only shoeing of the hol
Family stuff from Sunday until new year
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 16:25, archived)
I'm finding it wipes me out these days, and although I've nothing to do I don't want to lose days to roughness

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 16:29, archived)
I've not done bugle in ages.

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 16:35, archived)
was on it wednesday night
which is probably why i managed to drink so much gin
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 16:39, archived)
Cans of gin?

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 17:17, archived)
not cans, no
big bottle mixed with tonic
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 17:23, archived)

www.mixcloud.com/worldwidefm/minou-11-12-17/
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 16:27, archived)
18
www.beano.com/posts/the-ultimate-wwe-wrestling-trivia-quiz
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 16:21, archived)
6, all guesses bar one

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 16:27, archived)
which one?

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 16:50, archived)
He's hot for the rock

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 17:03, archived)
can't take a Dwayne seriously

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 17:08, archived)
'Is American wrestling a bit bent?'

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 18:59, archived)
12, all guessed

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 16:34, archived)
they very cleverly hid some beano-related answers in there
i dunno if you noticed
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 16:50, archived)
8

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 16:47, archived)
merry turkeymas!

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 16:29, archived)
quiz of the year
www.bbc.co.uk/news/42440645

6/13 - chubby chaser
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 11:45, archived)
Can't quiz to busy getting ready, soz

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 11:54, archived)
it's anticlimactic anyway, you're not missing much

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 11:57, archived)
I'm not clicking that, might be news based trivia

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 11:58, archived)
your prescience serves you well

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 12:00, archived)
I believe the term is
fucking hell
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 12:27, archived)
^

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 12:36, archived)
cba, soz

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 11:58, archived)
np

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 12:00, archived)
11/13

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 11:59, archived)
check out the big brain on brad!

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 12:00, archived)
my brain don't bring me no money tho

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 12:42, archived)
I don't partake in loony left wing website quizzes

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 12:09, archived)
what are you doing for Christmas $$

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 12:10, archived)
I bet it's 'wanking'

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 12:13, archived)
aren't you having a festive game of arrows?

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 12:17, archived)
kwanzaa arrows

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 12:20, archived)
my uncle is back in the UK so we're having a big family do with the parents

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 12:15, archived)
How long has he been 'out of the UK'?
12 - 18 months?
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 12:36, archived)
hahahaha

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 12:43, archived)
That's the problem in the UK people don't go 'out of the country' for long enough

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 12:54, archived)
Yeah and then they let them 'back in the country' early for good behaviour

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 12:55, archived)
20 years
he's done his time
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 13:07, archived)
gs

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 12:43, archived)
and wanking

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 12:15, archived)
soz

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 12:13, archived)
7/13
Alcohol has arrived in the office. Now it's Christmas
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 12:11, archived)
What sort of alcohol?

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 12:31, archived)
THAT is the question!

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 12:43, archived)
rubbing

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 12:47, archived)
vodka

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 13:00, archived)
OK, that's worth drinking.

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 13:10, archived)
Awesome
I ordered a couple of cheeky 45s yesterday, expecting them to be waiting for me when I come back to work, but they're here already. Good stuff, looking forward to cranking them up when I hit the shoe later.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIPL1NwQAY0
www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_moB85G7xI
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 12:43, archived)
no-one cares, Richard

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 12:47, archived)
That's nice, dear.
Make sure you don't turn the volume up too much; you know you're prone to headaches and the neighbours can get so tense sometimes.
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 12:49, archived)
I am a little nervous about wall thickness in my new place
My last two homes have been pretty much soundproof
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 12:52, archived)
Better wrap your hi-fi system in cotton wool just to be on the safe side.

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 12:56, archived)
Lol, dyke.

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 13:58, archived)
It's a present for my mum

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 14:03, archived)
Lol. 2 mums

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 14:06, archived)
poo bums, etc

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 14:07, archived)
I just did a fart and didn't have to wipe after
things are looking up
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 12:51, archived)
sounds like *someone's* getting ready for Christmas after all!

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 12:53, archived)
yesssssssssssssss

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 13:00, archived)
I hope you didn't buy too many bitcoins this morning

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 14:09, archived)
cashed mine out last week when it hit 17k
kicked myself when it went to 20k, but not so bitter now.
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 14:13, archived)
How many did you have?

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 14:49, archived)
Lol at the sex chatline one, where they said that complaints went to 'the appropriately named Michael Ring'
My mind did not immediately jump to ring as in 'telephone'
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 13:13, archived)
Well, you DO look at bumholes for a living.

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 13:40, archived)
Portmanteau: quiz + year = quear. Can you think of your own?

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 13:39, archived)
penus + helmet = pelmet

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 13:43, archived)
One apprentice got thrown out of the college for smoking weed. But he was having a solid with Yvonne from HR so we reckon he'll be alright.
The other went home with Chanelle, the sort of orangey chav one from the hall staff.
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 13:45, archived)
right
I'm applying to work there
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 13:46, archived)
Christine, who is one of the cleaners got her tits out.

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 13:57, archived)
Christine the dirty cleaner

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 14:08, archived)
what does 'having a solid' mean, please?

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 13:48, archived)
Pooping back and forth

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 13:50, archived)
so hot

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 13:54, archived)
passing a stool

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 13:50, archived)
christ

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 13:54, archived)
Autocorrect for spliff

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 13:56, archived)
haha
lovely
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 13:58, archived)
I left fairly early, but apparently after I went one of the porters tried to throw a few of the chefs out for being too drunk, and it kicked off in to a fight.

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 14:04, archived)
Real tight ship they're running over there

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 14:06, archived)
I think they're just not used to the sort of drinking.
I'm certainly not. A couple beers, then champagne, then 3 different wines with dinner, then a dessert wine, then a port, then down to the bar for more beers/spirits. And they're all absolutely knecking wine at each course. I was bollocksed by 10.
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 14:09, archived)
Lightweight.

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 14:22, archived)
After a week of overwork, lack of sleep and being in the house on my own I think I've gone full Scrooge.
Better hope some ghosts come to sort me out or christmas is fucked.
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 14:05, archived)
I've got some new boots and gloves coming.

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 14:07, archived)
Hi Gays!!
So, what about them blue passports, eh?
What else will we be taking back after Brexit?

Is everybody New Year ready?
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:53, archived)
Retro 70's style over substance
The Brexiteers can study them in detail whilst we wait in long Non-EU queues to get into countries.

Silly fucking pricks.
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:57, archived)
Maybe we'll bring back page 3 stunnas as well
phwoar eh lads eh?
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:01, archived)
Phwoar!
And the news of the world too
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:06, archived)
They have their knockers.

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:11, archived)
As if casual sexism has ever gone away.

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:14, archived)
shut up and make me a cup of tea, sugar tits

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:23, archived)
You silver-tongued devil, you!

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:28, archived)
Three day weeks, rationing, and those signs that say "no blacks, no Irish, no dogs".

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:04, archived)
Bit harsh on dogs

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:07, archived)
someone brought us a selection box for the office
this is it today
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:12, archived)
:D

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:13, archived)
haha

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:13, archived)
:(

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:20, archived)
they're shit, ma8e
everyone knows it
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:21, archived)
then I'll take 'em off yer 'ands, like a rag and bone man

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:27, archived)
don't put the blame on me

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:58, archived)
heh

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 11:06, archived)
I have to side with Grrry here
Double Deckers are great, and deserve attention
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 11:41, archived)
Your Mum.

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:04, archived)
Privet hedges, cricket on the village green, bluebell time in Kent.

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:08, archived)
Malta

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:10, archived)
I love Malta!

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:11, archived)
I've got a fuckload of I Shot JR t-shirts in my garage, ebay here I come

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:13, archived)
hang on that might've been 80's

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:13, archived)
Apparently she's going to get us the brexit that the people wanted
I'm WELL looking forward to that £350m a week that the NHS are going to get.
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:14, archived)
but enough about that
Last day!
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:14, archived)
Yesssssssssssssssš

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:17, archived)
Oh, the NHS has got its £350m each week,
but I've trousered the lot.
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:15, archived)
disgusting

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:16, archived)
I like to see myself as a "wealth creator".

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:20, archived)
+ brown

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:55, archived)
Don't really do New Year.
It's the one night of the year that I'm virtually guaranteed to be in bed before midnight.
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:17, archived)
Coo-ee!
Looks like my boss is letting me go early, hurrah!
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:21, archived)
yeah, i only have to stay until lunchtime and i'm doing fuck all anyway
got a free coffee and bacon roll earlier. now i'm listening to christmas hip-hop (to get ready, obvs)
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:22, archived)
Christmas in Hollis by Run-DMC
Christmas Rappin' by Kurtis Blow
Santa's Rap by the Treacherous Three

and of course Eazy-E's Merry Muthafuckin Xmas
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:26, archived)
hollis just finished, kurtis blow is up in two tracks time
even though i'm the only one in the office, i still wasn't brave enough to listen to eazy-e at full volume
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:30, archived)
Found a Deezer playlist with everything except Treacherous Three.
That Eazy-E track is hilarious, but probably a bit much when I've got kids playing in the next room.
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:56, archived)

ee o
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:58, archived)

pl g
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 11:01, archived)
Fuck off, Deezers

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 11:01, archived)
:D

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 11:10, archived)
This "Christmas Rap" playlist just tried to play me Justin Bribery, so "fuck off, Deezers" suddenly seems very appropriate.

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 11:25, archived)
"Justin Bribery"
lol
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 11:26, archived)
lol

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 11:42, archived)
Spice Girls - Christmas Wrapping

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 11:33, archived)
That's shit to fire you just before Christmas

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:27, archived)
it's what I deserve

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:36, archived)
she schedules your toilet breaks?

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:28, archived)
Is Richard's boss a woman? Haha

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 11:17, archived)
No

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 11:21, archived)
Result.
I shall be leaving in 35 mins.
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:55, archived)
get in

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:55, archived)
BOO!!!
Ours isn't even in yet
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:56, archived)
Off the Florida Keys, there's a place called Kokomo
That's where you want to go to get away from it all
Bodies in the sand, tropical drink melting in your hand
We'll be falling in love to the rhythm of a steel drum band
Down in Kokomo
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:30, archived)
Awww yiss.
Can we get a bit of 'Fun Fun Fun' next?
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:33, archived)
"Bodies in the sand"
Confirmed that Mike Love was a serial killer
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:40, archived)

Bodies in the sand Running in the family
ove indup
serial keyboard
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:51, archived)
VG

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:54, archived)
superb

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 11:07, archived)
I wonder if Mike Lindup is ready for Christmas yet

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 11:39, archived)
morning

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 6:21, archived)
morning grrry
the early bird gets the, you know
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 7:10, archived)
dysentry, in my case

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 7:16, archived)
get well m8

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:35, archived)
Hey

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 7:41, archived)
wotcha

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 7:49, archived)
No watch talk pls it's depressing

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:29, archived)
good day to move your money into cryptocurrencies
Bitcoin fell 25% last night
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:42, archived)
Yes, it can't POSSIBLY fall any further

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:44, archived)
it could fall to the 10k limit
but since all those futures got sold on big exchanges last week, and even Bloomberg added crypto to their terminals, there's some serious banking incentives to see it get back to the 18k mark. It's almost textbook.
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:46, archived)
I did very well out of bitchcoin
I bought something online with £50 worth earlier this year and had a couple of quid change. Re-ordered and found that the change has blossomed into enough to buy a full reorder.
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:20, archived)
Where do you spend it, now that the silk road is no more?

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:23, archived)
I just bought some prescription meds
nothing illegal, just not over-the-counter stuff.
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:42, archived)
the marmite motorway

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:42, archived)
loads of places accept it

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:48, archived)
the bournville boulevard

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:51, archived)
*bully fives*

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:56, archived)
The Long Island Ice Tea Company yesterday announced
it will now be the Long Island Blockchain Company.
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:45, archived)
K I've just bought a load of namecoins cos I prefer the idea of having 100 namecoins to 0.01 bitcoins

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:46, archived)
Litecoin's probably a good bet, after the Facebook announcement

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:47, archived)
How's the Wu tang one going?

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:53, archived)
fell 16.4% in 24hrs

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:58, archived)
I don't want money I want watches to wear and treasure

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:52, archived)
*tips fedora*

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 7:53, archived)
M'cbeef

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 7:59, archived)
Oh dear.

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:05, archived)
it's not a good sign

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:18, archived)
Got rum for buttering and cider for mulling, last night,
but couldn't be bothered to prepare either. Sausage rolls to make today.
Are you ready for Christmas?
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:08, archived)
my anus exploded all over the toilet today
I fear tomorrow's four-hour drive will be punctuated with regular stops
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:18, archived)
I had a middle-of-the-night visit from the Ghost of Currys Past

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:28, archived)
Did they try to sell you an extended warranty?

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:33, archived)
Hahahaha

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:43, archived)
I found out last night that apparently in Australia they slather their sausage rolls in ketchup

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:31, archived)
Fuckin' bogans.
Pickle is the appropriate condiment.
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:37, archived)
Yep, and sometimes make them with hotdogs

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:42, archived)
heathens

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:47, archived)
They do have fast food pie shops tho, with drive thrus,

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:54, archived)
Pies are a big deal over there

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:55, archived)
They put beetroot in burgers!!!
Fackin mangruels.
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:56, archived)
what, mixed in with the meat?

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:57, archived)
Nah just slices in them, makes it soggy, pink and grim,

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:59, archived)
Pickled beetroot, I assume?

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:09, archived)
Dunno I chucked it straight in the bin

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:20, archived)
Fussy.

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:24, archived)
Alright 'Doctor Livingstone'

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:20, archived)
Actual slices of it, in the bun.

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:59, archived)
I put beetroot in burgers.
Shred the beetroot then sauté in wine vinegar, very tasty.
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:05, archived)
^wrong

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:07, archived)
No.
Because it's reduced down, it doesn't make the bun soggy, and imparts a sweet/sharp tang to the burger. Shredding the beetroot does result in having purple hands, though.
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:12, archived)
I've still seen them take the lid off and fill with ketchup

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:56, archived)
Pie floaters ftw.

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:55, archived)
Easy peasy Christmas squeezy.

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:09, archived)
don't squeeze me, I'll probably vom on you

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:21, archived)
But that's the sexy part.

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:34, archived)
everybody's waiting for the man with the bag

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:29, archived)
yeah, getting their xmas shoe sorted

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:32, archived)
he'll only sell to you if you've been good

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:34, archived)
If anyone's Xmas shopping for me I take a size 6 grams in cocaine

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:58, archived)
James Brown?

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:32, archived)
Morning m8, getting in the cheery festive spirit with a bit of Sparklehorse!

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:37, archived)

This has just been suggested to me as a 'relevant to my interests' advert, not sure what they are getting at
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:42, archived)
Bit ghey.

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:44, archived)

Plz don't post my pics on beeter, this is harassment.
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:45, archived)
But why are you taking photos of bearded women?

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:49, archived)
No m8, it's a pic of me, not by me.

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:51, archived)
might listen to Slint to cheer myself up

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:44, archived)
I farking love Spiderland
You should check out The For Carnation.
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:46, archived)
saw them live a while back

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:51, archived)

I saw Slint a few years ago as well, one of those bands I thought I'd never get to see live. They were worth the 20 odd year wait.
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:00, archived)
you should follow Mark Linkous' lead

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:16, archived)
What ho!
It's a half day here. I hope to be on the 12.42 train back to the countryside for a nice fire and some half decent red.
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:43, archived)
I may have to do a full day :(

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:44, archived)
There's no christmas cheer in that.

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:46, archived)
innit doe

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:50, archived)
The "leave early on Christmas eve" time has gradually slipped back at my place such that it's no longer worth not taking the day off.

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:57, archived)
At our place they give you a half days leave back if you booked the whole day today. Same next Friday.
I got in at 8am. I will be away at 12.
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:01, archived)
This is the decent thing to do.

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:07, archived)
Yeah. It really is.
tbf we'd all go to the pub if we had to be here all day.
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:08, archived)
We used to get dismissed after Christmas lunch, too.
Then: stay in the pub or go home.
Now: back to work and expected to concentrate.
Bollocks.
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:13, archived)
You want nonsense? I'll give you nonsense.
When my old company flew us to NY for a long weekend, we got back into Heathrow at 06:00 on the Monday, utterly knackered. They hired minibuses to ferry us back to the office just to make absolutely sure that no-one went home to sleep, and we got to sit in the office like zombies for eight hours, incapable of being even remotely productive.
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:17, archived)
After a gratis trip to NY? What sort of monsters are they?

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:20, archived)
I know, right?
Most people on the jag saw precious little of NY as they were too busy participating in team-building sessions in stuffy meeting rooms.
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:22, archived)
You were team building in an office in NY at the weekend?
Tsk, tsk.
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:23, archived)
I was one of the lucky few who actually got to go sightseeing.
It was three months after 9/11, though, so the city wasn't exactly in a festive mood.
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:28, archived)
I flew about 10 or 12 days after, to San Francisco.
I had an entire middle row to myself. Best economy flight ever.

Tragic circumstances obviously but I'll take them.
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:32, archived)
Did anyone think to question why the trip to New York was even necessary?

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:32, archived)
Unofficially, everyone questioned it.
We were basically told that we had to go, though, and not to seem too ungrateful at such a magnanimous company. I did get to meet some nice colleagues, have some genuine New York pizza and witness the white upper-middle-class chairwoman of the company dancing to gangsta rap, which was teeth-pullingly cringeworthy.
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:43, archived)
yeah

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:56, archived)
3 hours until 2 weeks off
Countdown to joy begins now.
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:00, archived)
go now

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:01, archived)
Before you see me cry?

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:03, archived)
I wanna see you cry
it makes me hard
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:04, archived)
Well it is Christmas.

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:07, archived)
Cheers

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:10, archived)
Alright Moody Blues

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:10, archived)
Morning
I am sat at work with literally no idea what I'm doing. I hope nobody finds out...
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:22, archived)
Every day for me m8

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:39, archived)
I'm playing skyrim

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:51, archived)
Aruba, Jamaica, oh I want to take ya

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:38, archived)
Morning
Christmas starts in 4hrs 13 mins, I hope we're all ready
(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:46, archived)
fully erect

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:48, archived)
Good work soldier

(, Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:55, archived)
Alright

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 19:30, archived)
I've done saink to my phone and it keeps trying to translate in to Maltese, like that's a real thing

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 19:33, archived)
I am alright tho

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 19:51, archived)
int tajjeb?

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 20:11, archived)
I've fixed it now, I'm not going back planearm, alright

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 20:15, archived)
I've got Emmerdale and a bag of hoola hoops, I'm living the dream Mongy.

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 20:17, archived)
it's like gonz never left

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 20:27, archived)
+ dog

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 20:36, archived)
all your smileys are small brown balls?

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 20:44, archived)
Aren't yours?

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 21:03, archived)
Oh shit, me too
Translate to Maltese. What the fuck is going on??
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 21:37, archived)
Maybe Frank's back

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 22:22, archived)
May God have mercy on us all

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 23:05, archived)
Aye, not bad.

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 19:36, archived)
Cool

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 19:41, archived)
Please stop being upset online.

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 19:51, archived)
This is a mongychops alright thread, please keep to the long standing t& C's, nobody needs to be banned at xmas

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 19:53, archived)
Alright

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 20:05, archived)
Nice

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 20:11, archived)
Get this round you.
www.mixcloud.com/worldwidefm/minou-11-12-17/
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 22:31, archived)
Alright

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 20:07, archived)
Sweet

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 20:12, archived)
alright

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 20:27, archived)
Yeah

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 20:29, archived)
safe

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 20:45, archived)
Safe , carps will be chilling in the bath now I guess

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 21:02, archived)
Fights in Lidl for it
www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZqXkx3r_5U
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 21:44, archived)
Australia is full of carp they don't want

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 21:55, archived)
sweet as

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 21:11, archived)
Lovely

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 21:22, archived)


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...:::.IIHIHTTIITTHI .:::IT ::: :. :...HTILINN::::::::::::::::
...::::ITTIHHHITTT::.::TTI: : :::.:. I..TMII IITIITTII II:::::
..:::ITTMMHIMMITTTIIIIHI: .::: I:::.= :MTITTIIT::::::::::::::::::
..:ITTHIHHHNMNMHHIITTHIII::::::: TT::::::IHIT::::::::::::::::::::::
MXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
MXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
MXXX XX XXXX XX XXX XXX XX XX XXXX XXX XXXX XXX
MXX XXXXXX XXXX XX XXXX XXX XXX XXXXXXXX XXXX XX XX XXX XX XXXXXXX
MXX XXXXXX XXXX XX XXXX XXX XXX XXXXXXXX XXXX X X XX XXX XX XXXXXXX
MXX XXXXXX XX XXXX XXX XXXX XXXX XXXX XX XX XXX
MXX XXXXXX XXXX XX XX XXXXX XXXXXXX XXXX XXXX XXXX XX XXX XXXXXX XXX
MXX XXXXXX XXXX XX XXX XXXX XXXXXXX XXXX XXXX XXXX XX XXX XXXXXX XXX
MXXX XX XXXX XX XXXX XX XX XXXXX XXXX XXXX XX XXX XX XXXX
MXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
MXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 15:29, archived)

m                                               m  
e / \ \ / \ e
r| | \ | | r
r| `. | | : r
y` | | \| | y
\ | / / \\\ --__ \\ :
c \ \/ _--~~ ~--__| \ | c
h \ \_-~ ~-_\ | h
r \_ \ _.---,\-,--.______\| | r
i \ \______/ ___\|/__ (__ \ | i
s \ . C ___) | || |(____ | / s
t /\ | C ____)|___||___|(____ |_/ t
m / /\| C_____)|---||---|(___ / \ m
a | ( _C_____)|___||___| // _/ / \ a
s | \ |__ \\_________// (__/ | s
* | \ \____) `---- --' | *
* | \_ ___\ /_ _/ | *
* | / | | \ | *
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* | / | | | |*
* | | | | | |*

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 15:31, archived)
needs mistletoe

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 15:35, archived)
couple of Nokia's in there,

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 15:41, archived)
HEY WHAT'S UP GUYS THIS IS COLIN FROM SPHINCTER SIX PACK SHORTCUTS

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 19:21, archived)
Thanks mate, pinas all round
youtu.be/vLom-87AmO8
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 15:32, archived)
cheers

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 15:35, archived)
Some of the stuff you can do with ASCII is pretty reem, let's be honest.

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 15:41, archived)


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//;;\.""./';./.`\- |`/./'','./|'"/`\\`,`/'. '. ,` ,/',/',|%//'/%.////;.//,/,;,.-.`\`,..\`.''(\\`\%\\%\\\/\'\\\\,/,/'/|/\\`|"\|
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 15:43, archived)

lol.
You spastic
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 15:43, archived)
needs more <pre>

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 15:45, archived)
you love a bit pre

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 15:56, archived)
What is this, Donnie Spacko?

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 15:49, archived)
It's a touching Shepherd scene
Squint and you'll see it.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 15:57, archived)
Why are you wearing that stupid mong suit?

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 16:11, archived)
Good work soldier

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 16:27, archived)
Take it outside, God Boy!

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 15:48, archived)
Jesus saves

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 15:50, archived)
St Paul scores on the rebound
#nigelrees
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 15:52, archived)
If we are all God's children, what is so special about Jesus?

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 15:58, archived)
If the world's round, then where are all the corners?

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 16:11, archived)
Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 16:18, archived)
Judy bloom, I know this through osmosis of girls at school, how I can still remember that I have no idea

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 18:10, archived)
Yeah must have been hidden away in my brain for decades

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 18:15, archived)
I must, I must , I must increase my bust, seemed to be the tag line

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 18:45, archived)
Those books were always toilet reading when I was growing up

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 16:05, archived)
And holiday rental cottage staples

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 16:19, archived)
Cottaging staples. So to speak.

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 16:50, archived)
ibhd
tdob
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 16:21, archived)
disgusting

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 16:01, archived)
you got the dud

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 16:05, archived)

this reaction always cracked me up
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 16:24, archived)
One of my favourite simpsons moments
"Well maybe you should just marry Milhouse"
*gasp*
"That's right...we know about Milhouse"

You know what episode I mean, god damn it.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 16:28, archived)
yes!

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 16:30, archived)
haha, with the fisherman?

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 16:48, archived)
that's the one

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 17:27, archived)
this is my pick me up
www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpR1yNytFn0
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 16:31, archived)
aaaand now it's mine too

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 16:49, archived)
My favourite sports ball team won last night.
This may have caused me to engage in a period of alcoholic celebration.

Might go and buy a Milky Way in a bit. I'm a bit peckish.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 16:05, archived)
Alright Jeffles?
How's life in the 90s?
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 16:13, archived)
Brilliant.
In theory, you are scheduled to die from ignorance in the next 3 years.

What a Time to be alive!
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 16:21, archived)
bit like on here then

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 17:01, archived)

.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 16:35, archived)



\ ' /
- (\ /
(\ (\ (\ (\ / | ) - (\ (\ (\ (\
| ) | ) | ) | ) `| | ) | ) | ) | )
`| `| `| `| |~| `| `| `| `|
|~| |~| |~| |~| | | |~| |~| |~| |~|
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | | \~~~/ | | | | | | | |
\~~~/ \~~~/ \~~~/ \~~~/ (_) \~~~/ \~~~/ \~~~/ \~~~/
(_) (_) (_) (_)_____(_)_____(_) (_) (_) (_)
(_) (_) (_) \======(_)======/ (_) (_) (_)
(_) (_) (_)_____________(_)_____________(_) (_) (_)
(_) (_) \==============(_)==============/ (_) (_)
(_) (_)_____________________(_)_____________________(_) (_)
(_) \======================(_)======================/ (_)
(_)_____________________________(_)_____________________________(_)
\==============================(_)==============================/
__(_)__
__(=HAPPY=)__
(===HANUKKAH==)

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 16:39, archived)
mazel tov!

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 16:40, archived)
Blimey
Poseidon must be over-compensating for something
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 16:40, archived)
@poundland seem to be having some fun on twitter

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 16:57, archived)
Hi Mark.
The Poundland account has not been hacked. I am sorry that you feel this way and will share your feedback. Thanks, Zoe
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 17:06, archived)
People are outraged ffs

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 17:09, archived)
Bores. Bores are outraged.

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 17:11, archived)
Ffs some cunt's called the police about it.
mobile.twitter.com/feistywomankent/status/943865109058871296?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fd-40911565572390674635.ampproject.net%2F1513806763233%2Fframe.html
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 18:35, archived)
Im getting involved. Connie is a CUNT

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 18:45, archived)
Trolling I think, dunno didn't bother checking

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 19:11, archived)
oh well
there'll be summat else to be outraged about tomorrow
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 18:30, archived)
I'm outraged about it already

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 18:36, archived)
I'm outraged about the outrage

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 18:49, archived)
lol

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 17:31, archived)
Fucking lol at Damian Green being sacked for having 'extreme porn' on his work computer.
Looks like Chancellor May didn't appreciate him viewing Wheatfield Sluts VII during office hours.

I'm going to a vernissage this evening. What are you doing?
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:32, archived)
I had to google vernissage, what a fucking peasant I am.
Not sure about tonight, quite fancy a curry
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:37, archived)
Tut tut, Richard; that's not like you.
God, it's been ages since I last had a decent cuzza. Curry houses over here are couscous houses, and it's nowhere near the same.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:45, archived)
Unlucky
The place I go to is a Pakistani grill house, it's fucking brilliant. It's even easier to get to from my new gaff.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:48, archived)
I had proper Pakistani curry in Dublin once and it was fucking amazing.
Cost almost twice as much as a regular curry house but you only live once eh eh.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:49, archived)
absolutely

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:50, archived)
^funding terrorism

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:50, archived)
Make one yourself, then...

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:52, archived)
Hark at you with your good ideas.
The truth is it's a lot of work if I'm going to be the only one eating it. I made curry sauce from scratch once and it took ages.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:54, archived)
Making the paste is a bit of a faff unless you have a good blender.
Buy a decent paste in and add your own chilli, etc.

They do a decent Thai kit in Aldi at the minute.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:56, archived)
Yeah, I kind of murdered my old blender doing something similar.
The problem with doing this sort of cooking in France is that there are hardly any Indian/Pakistani people here. The colonial heritage is North African and Vietnamese, so getting the relevant spice pastes can be a bit of a headache.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 13:01, archived)
the blue dragon thai green curry kit has a tendency to burn the second you take your eyes off it

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 13:37, archived)
Shit them... Watery as fuck and bland to boot.

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:09, archived)
yeah, they are a bit
i'm lucky, there's an asian supermarket not far from me that's quite cheap. still easy to spend a shitload of money there, though. they even sell durian fruit
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:14, archived)
I can't eat a whole durian durian fruit
I have to save it till the morning after
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:40, archived)
:)

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:52, archived)
I quite enjoy cooking for other people, but I can never see the point in cooking for just myself.
If ever I'm left home alone, I'll just do omelette and chips for tea.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:56, archived)
^ This.

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 13:01, archived)
Hold me, I'm lonely.

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 13:03, archived)
*spoons with manly firmness*

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 13:11, archived)
I just munch dry bread rolls
butter is for guests
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 13:07, archived)
^ Last Tango in Paris

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 13:18, archived)
You could take some in for work din dins the following day?

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 13:25, archived)
There is always the option of making a big batch and freezing it.
This is true.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 13:27, archived)
Sperm LOL!

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:33, archived)
I'm not eating any curry you've made.

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:45, archived)
A curry house?

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 13:32, archived)
No curry for me tonight, think Im having pizzas

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:52, archived)
picking my nose
can't decide whether to roll and flick them or just wipe them on the furniture
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:39, archived)
Pick it, lick it, roll it, flick it

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:42, archived)
but if you lick it it goes all gooey and then when you flick it it sticks to your other nail

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:46, archived)
We had joy, we had fun, flicking bogies at the sun
When the sun got too hot, all the bogies turned to snot.


True story
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:49, archived)
Terry SPACKS, I calls him

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:55, archived)
If only he was just honest
About liking a good old tug once in a while, rather than acting like a prude he would have just got a slap on the wrist and it would have gone away.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:45, archived)
Exactly.
Not to mention the fact that these are the hypocritical nanny state cunts who banned pornography involving female ejaculation, fisting and I can't remember what else. Bunch of senile old morons.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:46, archived)

got a slap on had a quick one off
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:47, archived)
so he had porn on his PC in 2008 and lied about it, back when he was in opposition
and the lie caught up with him now? 9 years later, when he's part of the cabinet?

Corbyn's fault.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:52, archived)
David Davies said he'd resign if this guy was sacked
And the crazy thing is, that isn't the worst lie that dickwad has dropped this year.

Why isn't the rest of the cabinet not up in arms? He is a staunch remainer, otherwise Rees Mogg would be out there gobbling airtime like a cunty pacman
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:57, archived)
"cunty pacman" is not a phrase to spoonerise.

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 13:01, archived)
wheelies

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:46, archived)
wheelie hit me
*enters dragon*
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:49, archived)
in the nude?

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:49, archived)
wee wees

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:51, archived)
And Poo-poo?

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 13:51, archived)
Waiting for David Davis to resign.
Google tells me "vernissage" is "varnishing", so I assume your tarting up your furniture ahead of having Christmas visitors.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:54, archived)
Oh yeah, totally polishing all the brass knobs over here, he'.
It's like a sneak preview opening of an art exhibition, where you usually get to meet the artist and have nibbles and champagne and stuff.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:59, archived)
Sounds a bit highbrow.
Think I'll stick to wanking.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 13:01, archived)
It's all a bit Nathan Barley, most of the time,
but the art looks decent for this one (the theme is 'space exploration') and it's better than contemplating my navel of a Thursday night.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 13:05, archived)
I quite like a wander around an art gallery.
Enjoy yourself.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 13:07, archived)
Ta duck.
Um...have a nice wank.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 13:11, archived)
recovering from a vicious hangover

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 13:30, archived)
Yikes.
Which dog was it that bit you?
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 13:31, archived)
gin & tonic

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 13:36, archived)
Those can be vicious alright.
I've come to the conclusion that, despite tonic's quinine content, it's not substantial enough to cushion the effects of the raw gin.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 13:38, archived)
the vodka afterwards didn't help

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 13:53, archived)
I've got the staff dinner tonight. 3 courses of fancy food and proper fancy wine.
Followed by me teaching the apprentices how to strawpedo wkd blues in the college bar.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 13:48, archived)
Ah, there's lovely.
Do they still bang the gavel at High Table so one of the scholars says grace?
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 13:55, archived)
Yeah, but it'll be the warden to say Grace.
And as it's a staff do the high table will be empty and the fellows will sit on the low tables to show we're all equal.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:29, archived)
Makes sense.
No need to lord it up when there are no filthy students around.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:32, archived)
Probably drinking pina coladas and getting caught in the rain

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 13:54, archived)
I´ve got to meet you by tomorrow noon, and cut through all this red tape

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 13:59, archived)
At a bar called o malleys?

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:01, archived)
yes

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:07, archived)
Let's plan our escape

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:10, archived)
It's watered-down-cocktail-drinkers like you that give the bar culture a bad name.

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:00, archived)
I'm not much into health food, I am into champagne

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:03, archived)
No, it's the cheap coke mixed with bicarb of soda and paracetamol
that they sell under the counter for £50 a bag that gives bar culture a bad name.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:05, archived)
You and I have different experiences of bars.

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:05, archived)
Finally got round to googling what a 'Millenial' is and discovered that I am one.

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:14, archived)
congrats! x x x

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:16, archived)
seems contrived to me
you and I are the same age, and I was always told I'm a Gen Xer. I own property, I got a job out of university, I've never owned an iPhone and I don't like avocados. I'm not Millennial in the slightest.

And all the Millennials whinging about Boomers seem to have forgotten that 99% of boomers are either retired or dead by now, and it's Gen X causing all the perceived problems.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:27, archived)
Here we are:
"The United Kingdom's Economic and Social Research Council described Generation X as "Thatcher's children" because the cohort grew up while Margaret Thatcher was Prime Minister from 1979 to 1990"
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:31, archived)
I'll give you generation XXX
*p0oints at crochet*
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:34, archived)

1.bp.blogspot.com/_YHGlUBjMO2s/TJQkhEziHfI/AAAAAAAAAEw/Jb9G4XkhZ6w/s1600/DSC00031_medium.JPG
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:36, archived)
Yayyyyyy!!!

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 20:05, archived)
That's me then and I'm much older than you

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:35, archived)
you're the same age as my brother, it's not like your my Dad

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:36, archived)
Yeah, but you must of been 5 or saink in 1990, don't think that makes you generation X

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 15:12, archived)
I was 17. Fucking hell. Where does it go, eh?

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 15:24, archived)
lol old

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 15:59, archived)
From wikipedia it appears to be an age thing rather than a lifestyle choice.
I always thought that millenials were pricks. Then again I always thought that generation X were bigger pricks and the baby boomers are the biggest pricks of all.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:39, archived)
I've seen starting dates from 1980 up to 1986
I'm going on the basis that if you remember life before 9/11, you're not a millennial.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:41, archived)

life before 9/11 when all this were fields
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:42, archived)
I was on my honeymoon for 9/11 so I suppose I'm out

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:44, archived)
World has gone crazy, we're sacking people for looking at porn whilst the BBC is promoting utterly bent stuff like this
www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-42441695/kaci-sullivan-i-gave-birth-as-both-genders
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 15:25, archived)
It's supposed to be Adam and Eve, not Kaci and Steve

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 15:26, archived)
I seem to remember reading about this case when s/he had stopped the hormones in order to fall pregnant.
Anyone else remember that song Paul Daniels did once about his family tree, where he ended up being his own grandmother?
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 15:34, archived)
Hullo

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 10:59, archived)
All the once a year drinkers are filling up the pubs again, I hate this time of year

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:00, archived)
I've not been outside on New Year's Eve for about 20 years, worst night of the year by far

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:04, archived)
I go out for a few pints early then go home

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:05, archived)
Got my kid this year so we're going for an Argie steak dinner

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:12, archived)
there's more than life to food, Richard
your kid is more than someone you just eat in front of.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:14, archived)
eh?

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:18, archived)
You can eat behind his back too

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:23, archived)
More than life to food

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 13:53, archived)
Oh I suppose I might have my kids, dunno

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:26, archived)
Park at my house?

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:09, archived)
Taking Len out to Buen Ayre, m8

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:20, archived)
Nice one.
We'll give that a lash if I get a bonus.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 15:01, archived)
fucking hate that shit

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:34, archived)
I'll bet the landlord hates it when he makes loads of money over a short space of time.

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:41, archived)
the landlord will make the same money and be working longer, busier hours

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:45, archived)
and worry about fire risk with overcrowding

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:46, archived)
I'd hazard that those busier hours are the more profitable.

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:06, archived)
I'm sure that Mitchells & Butler are pleased about that, but the landlord's salary will remain the same
in fact, converted to an hourly rate they will be making less money
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:19, archived)
Oh, I see your point now.

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:33, archived)
these trousers are rather tight

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:37, archived)
I doff my cap to you, bringer of the Christmas Salmon.

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:01, archived)
see below

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:04, archived)
Welcome

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:03, archived)
lol 'come'

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:05, archived)
that is WELL come, bruv

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:23, archived)
haha, a WELL of it, no less!

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:34, archived)
WELL

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:38, archived)
lololol

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:48, archived)
+wel

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:07, archived)
got up early this morning and put the beetroot cure on my salmon, it comes off tomorrow night
If I get this right I shall be chuffed to bits and the hero of Christmas down at my mums'. If it's shit I'll be super gutted.

#interesting #richard #foodaddict
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:04, archived)
How is the beetroot 'cure' supposed to work?
Does it cook the salmon by acidity, in the same way as lime juice does in ceviche? Or is it just a flavour thang?
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:08, archived)
it's the salt and sugar in the cure that do the actual curing
the beetroot, horseradish, dill,lemon and vodka in it are for flavour and colour.

If I get it right it should come out like this:
farm9.staticflickr.com/8585/15508546623_8e5c1deb08_z.jpg
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:13, archived)
That looks pretty damn fine, I have to say.

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:20, archived)
the colour is amazing eh

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:29, archived)
Beetroot makes everything go red/purple.
Only a simpleton would be amazed.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:39, archived)
shut up m8

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:41, archived)
So long as it tastes good, Rich.
Save me a slice, I'll pop over before new year.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:43, archived)
I'll be waiting

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:46, archived)
Bit sinister.

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:07, archived)
a lot sinister, m8

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:11, archived)

mcbeef, yesterday
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:20, archived)
he does his hair in a top knot

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:26, archived)
are you providing a vegetarian option?

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:46, archived)
yeah, a kick in the cock and/or fanneh

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:19, archived)
I don't eat fish :(

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:25, archived)
do you throw back the ones you catch or are they too dead by then?

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:27, archived)
That wanker who turned up and said something about the Star Wars film
Well he is wrong, it was pretty enjoyable. Read some stuff online and it seems that anyone who doesn't hold the original japes in space with gay robots as some type of sacred fucking text could find it enjoyable. Yes there is a stupid fucking bit, but it is Star Wars so there is always going to be a stupid fucking bit.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:09, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8139183
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:13, archived)
harsh

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:18, archived)
Yes Two Hats gave him the kicking he deserved

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:24, archived)
Star wars has never exactly been the height of cinema though.
It's a silly fun sci fi film. Ewoks ffs.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:21, archived)
The original was only good
As it was saved in the edit. Just watching the first 5 minutes of this will give you enough flavour of how incredibly shit it could have been.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:25, archived)
It's noir, m8

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:30, archived)
Return of the Jedi is the best Star Wars.

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:42, archived)
Haven't you heard?
!
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:45, archived)
I find your lack of faith disturbing, keybo.

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:09, archived)
Listened to a lovely interview with that there Peter Serafinowicz
talking about doing the voice on one of the films and it had me giggling a lot.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:22, archived)
he seems like good laugh

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:30, archived)
I have a deep affection for Brian Butterfield
just the mention of bonbonbonbons gets me every time.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:04, archived)
Posting about Star Wars? STOP!

This messageboard is not for pricks like you. Go and fill /board with your boring shit.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:32, archived)
Ha
You think you are better than this. Ha.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:41, archived)
I can't see what you're pointing at but assuming it's your shrivelled winky.

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:48, archived)
I saw it at the weekend

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:44, archived)
Where you scared
By the clown m8?
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:46, archived)
Pennywises don't scare me
I only get scared by chuds, m8
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:50, archived)
spoilers plz
so I don't have to watch it
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:46, archived)
The main bloke throws a lazor at star wars and star wars dies

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:49, archived)
cheers

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:05, archived)
but enough about my pelmit

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:46, archived)
IT'S A VALANCE, M8

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:48, archived)

VALANCE, M8 PUPPETTTTT
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:52, archived)
oh my

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:53, archived)
+ HOLLY

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:54, archived)

IT'S A Tonight Matthew, I'm going to be...
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:54, archived)
witam
which is pronounced vee-tam, cunning linguists
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:14, archived)
Like witamin D lol

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:21, archived)
Yeah yeah yeah.
Pretty quiet round here, might go up town.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:19, archived)
alright Billy Joel

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:22, archived)
alright Davey Dex
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ww4agso7E-0
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:32, archived)
alright althea and donna

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:36, archived)
cock bum willy willy
cock bum willy
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 11:35, archived)
Just gearing up for another cheery day with a bit of songs: ohia

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:49, archived)

this is more up your street
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:52, archived)
No m8

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:54, archived)
you should follow Jason Molina's lead

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:58, archived)
Already on it m8

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:00, archived)
Only listening to the pins colada song today , soz

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:01, archived)
I like pina coladas

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 10:01, archived)
Getting caught in the rain?

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 10:37, archived)
too busy trippin' to Tony Sherman

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:02, archived)
might go back to the bogs for a second, more thorough wipe of my skiddy, ravaged anus

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:10, archived)
you should really
you don't want your pants looking like a brass rubbing of Westminster Abbey
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:12, archived)
lol

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:18, archived)
wow
that's pretty visual
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:31, archived)
cheers for the visual

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 10:44, archived)
red wine makes my farts fucken reek
AMA
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:15, archived)
Merlot or Cab Sav?

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:17, archived)
Cab Shiraz Merlot

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:21, archived)
I like the dark greenish-black sticky shits that red wine gives me

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:18, archived)
oh god, tell me about it

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:21, archived)
oh god! don't tell us about it!

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:36, archived)
I'll whatsapp you the pictures

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:37, archived)
whatscrapp

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:38, archived)
shatscrapp

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:39, archived)
farttime

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:40, archived)
faecetime

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:43, archived)
^I win

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:43, archived)
fuck, of course

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:43, archived)
how much do you have to drink to make the poo come out like that?

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:23, archived)
If I open a bottle I finish it without fail, so I've no way of knowing what the minimum is, sorry

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:25, archived)
I regularly knock back a bottle of Pinot Noir
and it doesn't make my poo come out like that tho
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:31, archived)
try harder

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:35, archived)
honestly m8, it fucken stinks
it's almost unbearable
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:37, archived)
I dropped a guff on the stairs when I got in yesterday morning
It still reeked an hour later
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:39, archived)
haha

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:39, archived)
it's infused the carpet fibres now

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:43, archived)
try 1001

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 10:45, archived)
Are you still annoyed that Neil Diamond pooh poo'd that as the original lyric?

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:21, archived)
Well I am now!
If he'd mentioned this issue just ONCE, I would've steered clear.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:22, archived)
any cheese consumed as well?

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:26, archived)
No, not on this occasion
I'm not sure if that would've made things better or worse. Depends on the cheese, I suppose.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:28, archived)
This is what I'm having on Boxing Day
www.telegraph.co.uk/foodanddrink/recipes/9721494/Baked-vacherin-mont-dor-recipe.html
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:36, archived)
nice, not had that
We have baked camembert from time to time. Is it similar?
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:38, archived)
yes, same thing but even nicer

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:39, archived)
I'll see if I can track some down, nice one

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:41, archived)
It's not cheap
It's a big ol' cheese though: 580g

Waitrose have it on offer at £13 down from £15 - you can get mini ones too, I think
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:44, archived)
might buy one and have it in a sarnie

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:48, archived)
+ or buy a single coffee at the canteen for the same price

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:49, archived)
i went to the much better canteen in another building this morning. prices are comparable but the cups are much bigger
now we have a decent kettle and a small fridge in the office, i might fuck the canteen off entirely when we come back in the new year
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 10:02, archived)
very sensible
Some of my colleagues use the starbucks bar at Langstone. I'm a fucking cheapskate, so I take my own teabags.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 10:05, archived)
Lol
www.chickenshopclothing.com
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:18, archived)
wtf

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:19, archived)
Bit gutted there's no charlton one

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:21, archived)
In Portsmouth
We have Ken's Fried Chicken. How he gets away with it, I'll never know.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:30, archived)
Oh Ken's
down on Albert Road. They sponsored my radio station once.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:32, archived)
It's a chain now
Imagine that
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:33, archived)
doesn't surprise me
it was a mandatory part of any drinking spree on Albert or Elm Grove
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:34, archived)
it's more like a goddamned dynasty
ken's kebab, ken's pizza, ken's balti house. he has the pissed wankers of porstmouth by the fucking balls, yo
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:38, archived)
and yet I've never visited one

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:41, archived)
yet

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:43, archived)
you're more of your common or garden wanker, tbf

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:44, archived)
that's true
The wanker scale is many-layered
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:45, archived)

common or a

his new neighbours are in for a treat
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 10:03, archived)
true
although the garden's big enough to incorporate a shaded wanking areaTM
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 10:06, archived)
might build a tugging shed

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 10:08, archived)
i'll start saving eggboxes for the soundproofing

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 10:12, archived)
you're a good friend
I might need the eggs too, though
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 10:12, archived)
There's Kentish fried chicken in erith

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:33, archived)
on Old Street there's FCKF
Fried Chicken, Kebabs and Fish
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:38, archived)
That Battersea one is the best

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:44, archived)
they've used the same design for more than one place in a couple of instances
the lazy fucking bastards
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:47, archived)
people make me fucking sick

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:47, archived)
people fucking makes me sick

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:48, archived)
amen

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:50, archived)
I think they are all stolen from the shop signs anyway

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:49, archived)
is nothing sacred?

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 10:07, archived)
By taking the time to stop and appreciate who you are and what you've achieved - and perhaps learned through a few mistakes, stumbles and losses - you actually can enhance everything about you.
Self-acknowledgment and appreciation are what give you the insights and awareness to move forward toward higher goals and accomplishments.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:44, archived)
And so I wait. I wait for time to heal the pain and raise me to me feet once again - so that I can start a new path, my own path, the one that will make me whole again.

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:47, archived)
To conceal anything from those to whom I am attached, is not in my nature.
I can never close my lips where I have opened my heart m8.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:50, archived)
Each day is an adventure in discovering the meaning of life.
It is each little thing that you do that day - whether it be spending time with your friends, running in a cross-country meet or just simply staring at the crashing ocean- that holds the key to discovering the meaning of life.
I would rather be out enjoying these things than pondering them. We may never really discover the meaning of life, but the knowledge we gain in our quest to discover it is truly more valuable.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:51, archived)
Atomic Kitten?

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 10:21, archived)
dads best friend by the rubberbandits
Always cheers me up
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 10:43, archived)
he never had a stag, he never had a stag

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 10:49, archived)
morning

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 7:28, archived)
First day of my Christmas holidays, today.
Or should that be "holly-day"? Hahahahahaha!
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 7:48, archived)
I haven't seen any holly in yonks
but a lot of my neighbours climb the local sycamores to plunder the mistletoe at this time of year
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 7:51, archived)
Druids

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 7:53, archived)
not many druids round here
all fundymental Catholics innit
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 7:55, archived)

day bops
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 7:52, archived)
Morningles

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 7:53, archived)
poke a candle in an orange and shove it up your arse m8

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 7:56, archived)
morning

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 7:55, archived)
*chin nod*

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 7:56, archived)
If you like pina coladas, and getting caught in the rain

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 7:55, archived)
not really, no

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 7:56, archived)
If you're not into yoga, if you have half a brain If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape ?

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:15, archived)
this sounds like some paulo coelho live-love-laugh bullshit

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:20, archived)
It's just a song, an odd song , but just a song

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:25, archived)
Exit Planet Dust still sounds great

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:00, archived)
speaking of tedious repetive noise
morning
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:05, archived)
I've never actually listened to it

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:19, archived)
It has aged well, unlike their later stuff.
Breakbeats, sirens, live bass, ravey acid.

Up your alley.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:21, archived)
Up yours

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:29, archived)
bingo

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:01, archived)
+wings give me something to hold on to

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:05, archived)
on the rooftop shouting out

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:08, archived)
^fiddle diddle dums

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:10, archived)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2329405
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:46, archived)
Morning.
I've just washed my coffee mug and now it's bubbling very slightly. What does this mean?
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:10, archived)
welcome to the world of soap
if you use it regularly you might find it easier to get a girlfriend
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:11, archived)
Brb, gonna do an abloobloobloo.

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:13, archived)
the gloss surface has come off the ceramic and it's reacting to water, probably not suitable for drinks any more, better throw it away

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:15, archived)
Feck.
I was afraid it was going to be something like that; the ceramic equivalent of a slow puncture.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:22, archived)
What do Ragnarok's mug and girlfriend have in common?

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:26, archived)
Both are fictional and exist only as notions on the internet?

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:30, archived)
They both give me an hour of hot, wet pleasure in the morning?

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:30, archived)
they were both stuffed in an old cupboard by his landlord when he moved in?

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:36, archived)
visitors use them as ashtrays?

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:37, archived)
OK, I'm sending round a team to kidnap you and keep you prisoner in a cosy Swiss chalet for a week
so you can actually get some sleep.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:55, archived)
good morning

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:41, archived)
word up

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:44, archived)
I've brought games in with me today

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:41, archived)
I bet its something lame like Mastermind

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:44, archived)
screwball scramble

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:46, archived)
oh, a one-player game
typical
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:47, archived)
Hey look at this place near my new gaff
www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Restaurant_Review-g186338-d9881561-Reviews-Yurt_Cafe_Limehouse-London_England.html
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:47, archived)
LAMEhouse, more like

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:48, archived)
Probably full of pricks.

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:49, archived)
I'm going with '100% definitely full of pricks'

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:58, archived)
see you there

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:09, archived)
Atmospheric, counterculture, but not a place to go if you are in a hurry...
after 15 minutes wait we realised they had completely forgotten to make the two coffees we ordered and had already paid. Not busy. Just staff chatting to each other and serving their own food.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:50, archived)
I read that as "sewing their own food" and was not even surprised.

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:10, archived)
corporate sellout wankers

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:55, archived)
Well duffle my coat it's Thursday!
MORNS!!!
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:51, archived)
Morning
I think Grrry's fallen asleep.
(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:35, archived)
The Two Ronnies was unfunny middle class shit.

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 21:17, archived)
Don't see how it was in a class

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 21:21, archived)
If only you knew your place.

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 21:49, archived)
Maybe

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 22:25, archived)
Shut up

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 23:13, archived)
Youn are

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 0:53, archived)
alright dribble

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 1:10, archived)
$M

(, Thu 21 Dec 2017, 7:02, archived)
I wonder if Bitty Maclean is ready for Christmas yet

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 17:50, archived)
Fucking hates it, don't even mention it or it all kicks off

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 18:10, archived)
Is mongy ready for xmas?

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 18:20, archived)
Not relevant to my interests, soz

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 18:26, archived)
Fuck, now you tell me
I sent him a card
(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 18:50, archived)
Just got off the phone with Maxi Priest
he told me to tell everyone he is ready
(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 18:13, archived)
Brinsley Forde from Aswad just texted me
He's got his tree up but he he's having a right mare finding a present for mum. Might have to go up West he reckons
(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 18:49, archived)
The London Boys are going Westfield later, he can go with them

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 18:54, archived)
Ive got my After Eights and Quality Street
SO, I'M READY.
(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 18:16, archived)
I saw bitty performing his hit at a fireworks display in Kenilworth once
I don't remember him mentioning Christmas though
(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 18:41, archived)
He wouldn't

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 18:53, archived)
Who now?

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 19:03, archived)
Bitty MacLean, can't you fucking read, you thick cunt?

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 19:26, archived)
That's enough from you.

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 19:32, archived)
Alright, Two Hats

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 20:00, archived)
I might be whiffy, but I'm no bumskull

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 20:33, archived)
I wonder if Angela Hewitt's ready for Christmas,

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 19:50, archived)
Don't worry, Guys. Ed Milliband haz dun a quiz for the afternoon.
www.theguardian.com/theguardian/2017/dec/20/ed-milibands-pub-quiz-of-2017
(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 15:39, archived)
10/25

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 15:43, archived)
11/25
SUCK IT
(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 15:43, archived)
No, but thanks.

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 15:44, archived)
This is a terrible quiz and is an insult to the late Doveston

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 15:46, archived)
worse than Hummel

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 15:47, archived)
NO!

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 15:49, archived)
A surprisingly-close-to-reasonable 13/25.

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 15:49, archived)
Ed Miliband quotes:
I don't believe in God personally but I have great respect for those people who do and different people have different religious views in this country.

The most important lesson of New Labour is this: Every time we made progress we did it by challenging the conventional wisdom.

I suppose not everyone has a dad who wrote a book saying he didn't believe in the Parliamentary road to socialism.

Foot wanks are the future of this country.
(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 15:50, archived)
Shut up for fucks sake

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 15:50, archived)
please don't bully me online
I scare easily
(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 16:19, archived)
Alright psychochomp, nice to have you back

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 17:58, archived)
9/25
fucking 9
(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 15:51, archived)
Happy Candle Day Hummel!

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 17:29, archived)
14/25

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 15:55, archived)
*shakes fist*

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 15:55, archived)

*fists shake*

u-oh, that was chocolate too... whattamess
(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 16:32, archived)
36

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 15:55, archived)
14/25
I'm a nerd
(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 15:56, archived)
Fuck that.
Did a quiz at work, earlier. I've had my fill.
(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 16:08, archived)
Still, I scored 8 on "red" Ed's quiz, mostly by picking answers at random.

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 16:24, archived)
you fucking commie bastard

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 16:28, archived)
Hey, I'm a "chardonnay socialist" at best.

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 16:35, archived)
6/25
great variety of answers
(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 16:09, archived)
fucks sake

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 16:29, archived)

78.media.tumblr.com/effdd4211c9c3335f6cd5024188c8c2a/tumblr_n8axs1kswH1s52q75o1_540.jpg
(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 16:36, archived)
Voted 'hot shit'!

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 16:36, archived)
You've been terribly negative lately.
SO FUCKING STOP IT.
(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 16:42, archived)
I hate quizzes
I either know all the answers, making it pointless playing...or I don't know any of them, so I have to guess. Again, pointless.
(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 16:42, archived)
and I'm tired, stressed and unwell

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 16:47, archived)
and I really don't have time for christmas at the moment

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 16:47, archived)
We haven't even got decorations up this year. Not even bothered.
Come and have a hug, big man.
(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 16:50, archived)
*gently sobs*

(, Wed 20 Dec 2017, 17:13, archived)

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