3/7 u?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/stories-42736949
( broadsword w⚓, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:58, archived)

2/7
let down by a lack of footwear knowledge
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:01, archived)

1/7
Bloody hell.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:03, archived)

4 u whore lol

( $$ ✅, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:04, archived)

lol

( broadsword w⚓, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:05, archived)

"Sleepy Head" Your score: 1/7

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:09, archived)

4
eva in r hrtz
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:10, archived)

Yeah?
Chilling. No jobs on. You?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:11, archived)

Finally a thread I feel comfortable replying to

( mongychops, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:12, archived)

Seeing my old mate Danny tonight,
He's back from America for the week. Might tie one on like the old days.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:15, archived)

You be careful

( mongychops, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:16, archived)

I will.
We're only up in his old village and I don't think the new landlord at the Lion does lock ins like the old days.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:24, archived)

Reading further down , I no longer feel comfortable in this thread, it's a shame

( mongychops, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:44, archived)

see you in Jason's weekend plans thread

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:48, archived)

Didn't that happen earlier in the week? It normally does

( mongychops, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:49, archived)

oh well somebody might post the bbc quiz

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:51, archived)

Christ not that tedious old bollocks

( broadsword w⚓, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:58, archived)

This place has gone to shit

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:01, archived)

you fucking miserable turnips

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:11, archived)

Did the condom often slip off when you fucked his arse in the past?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:19, archived)

Why does your mind seem to always go to such weird places?
Were you private school educated where bumming your mates was normal?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:33, archived)

private primary and an all-boys grammar m8

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:39, archived)

so, no bints then?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:41, archived)

the all-bints school was down the road
but the distinctive uniforms made it hard to bunk off to chat them up
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:41, archived)

Godby in his day
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:47, archived)

it's missing the house colours

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:01, archived)

Same here
January's always light because none of the managers have their budgets in place yet. It's a dick move by the company and screws over the contractors, but none of the suits give a shit.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:14, archived)

Weve done so much over the last year that all the little bitty jobs that keep you ticking along have sort of dried up.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:21, archived)

Yeah
boss is off today so we're working in our pants
( broadsword w⚓, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:17, archived)

I love pants.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:24, archived)

Getting quietly psyched up for the weekend.
A friend of mine suggested champagne at her place tomorrow but it would have meant spending the afternoon with her six-year-old as well, who apparently doesn't like gentlemen callers, so I'm going to do a dry run instead of how long it takes me to get from my current office to the place of the interview on Wednesday to make sure I allow for enough time on the day.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:24, archived)

I wish I hadn't read that.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:25, archived)

Maybe if you took a violent blow to the head, it would cause a bit of short-term memory loss
and then you wouldn't have to live with the memory of having read it.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:26, archived)

huh?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:39, archived)

he's got the chance to get blasted and his knob polished with some bint he knows
but the cost is looking like a decent surrogate father first and he doesn't think it's worth the effort.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:41, archived)

I'mma hire you as my interpreter.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:14, archived)

I've got loads to do
wanna pop over and give me a hand?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:24, archived)

Disgusting

( mongychops, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:25, archived)

it helps me to focus

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:29, archived)

Not really mate, no.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:25, archived)

might bike up to the rec if you are up for it?

( $$ ✅, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:31, archived)

Yeah? I'd love to.
Will you push me on the swings.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:32, archived)

yes

( $$ ✅, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 11:35, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 7:12, archived)

Morning

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 19 Jan 2018, 7:27, archived)

F

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 7:31, archived)

O

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 19 Jan 2018, 7:36, archived)

R

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 7:51, archived)

T

( H.B.Mupps, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 8:01, archived)

R

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 8:41, archived)

Morning.
That short ffillum thing last night was alright. They devoted the whole second half of the programme to what started out looking like a really interesting documentary about bush taxis (lol bush) in Senegal, but then it got interlarded with a load of bent rubbish Stephen Sondheim-style song and dance numbers.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 8:12, archived)

R

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 8:23, archived)

R L
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 8:39, archived)

*golf clap*
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 8:46, archived)

oh God not another one

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 8:13, archived)

I

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 8:23, archived)

(Yeah, Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ark)
Oo-ooh-ooh, hoo yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 8:39, archived)

A

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 8:39, archived)

Gninrom.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:10, archived)

that's better than your usual spelling

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:14, archived)

Hi huns.
(Not you, Atilla)
weekend is upon us. I'm going to be 36 on Sunday :(
Meeting some mates tonight and tomorrow afternoon. Should be a low key affair.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:11, archived)

but life begins at 39.
life the inevitable midlife crisis
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:14, archived)

Im actually really cool with the old age thing...
If I could take a pill and reverse back to my twenties, I'd flush it down the shitter...

(suppository)
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:17, archived)

Think of it as experience and maturity rather than age
also, look at how all the 20 somethings you encounter are utter wankers and be grateful you've now moved past that point
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:21, archived)

1982 club

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:14, archived)

I said the Jacob's Museum tour would be shit, but would you listen

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:16, archived)

crackers!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:16, archived)

Jesus
Isn't that nearly 50 in gay years?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:17, archived)

Thankfully I got married!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 10:09, archived)

+ stone

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:23, archived)

Im thinner now, keep up, Folkesy

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 10:10, archived)

What up mafk

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:16, archived)

yes, quite

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:28, archived)

word up, bishes

( $$ ✅, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:19, archived)

*gang signs*

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:28, archived)

Morning bumtits

( broadsword w⚓, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:30, archived)

shake em if you got em, sugarlump

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 9:36, archived)

Afternoon.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 15:36, archived)

Might go up the pub, bit early but it's how I'm rolling

( mongychops, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 15:41, archived)

And here's me without a cocktail

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 15:42, archived)

Short fillums evening at the arty cinema tonight.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 15:46, archived)

+f

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 15:58, archived)

Welsh short ffillums.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:11, archived)

dragging a bit innit

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 15:52, archived)

http://www.b3ta.com/talk/8144296

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 15:59, archived)

I'm sort of bored

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Jan 2018, 15:58, archived)

hmm

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 15:59, archived)

You know, according to your science,
Male eyes emits such radiation which can cause skin cancer demage to hairs etc of a female so hijab prevent them from such harmfull radiarions
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:22, archived)

yes, and I stand by it

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:35, archived)

[reply]

( $$ ✅, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:00, archived)

Well,

I've actually thought a lot about this, and I'm pretty sure the reason is lead poisoning. I know it sounds like I'm joking, but I'm absolutely serious. Leaded gasoline was only phased out starting in the 1980s, so the entire baby boomer generation grew up with massive amounts of toxic lead in the air due to leaded gasoline. The effects of lead poisoning are all but too apparent in the argumentative style of many baby boomers. The irritability, irrationality, and decline in mental faculties are all symptoms of mild lead poisoning. So statistically, the younger generation is much smarter than the baby boomer generation, because we weren't slowly poisoned with lead all of our lives. So why do a lot of baby boomers eat Fox News for breakfast lunch and dinner? Because they were poisoned by lead all of their lives. That, and some people are just plain stupid.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:09, archived)

Afternoon Munch.
Might use the snow as an excuse to knock off early.
(Roger McGough-Pipe, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:00, archived)

Snow?
I wish.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:17, archived)

In Glasgow

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:20, archived)

Ah, beyond the wall.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:23, archived)

Informer, her boyfriend's tall he plays ball, a licky boom boom down

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 17:47, archived)

Barfternoon more like
The Sun has settled another 4 cases against them for phone hacking. Yep, they are still paying out large wodges of cash to people they hacked.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:01, archived)

Quality paper, the Sun.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:19, archived)

They seem to have it in for The Guardian at the minute on the old Twitter...
They're scared people are seeking news from more credible sources.
That's why they had a go at social media the other week too.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:23, archived)

Guardian as a credible source? Come on.
It's a step up from the sun, but it's heavily biased.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:24, archived)

All papers are biased.
You just need to be smart enough to recognise that and interpret the content appropriately.
Given the Sun has a reading age of 7, I doubt they expect too much of their readership.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:30, archived)

I stand corrected, it's as high as 9, now, apparently consistent with the national average.
Which is worrying.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:31, archived)

I'd rather read the paper that highlighted the hacking going on than the paper that did it
I don't read any of the opinion pieces, they are just there to raise blood levels, however their scoops have been huge over the last few years what with Edward Snowden and the Panama Papers.

The Guardian arn't squeaky clean, they keep shitloads of their journos on 0 hour contracts and they give Corbyn's cronys editorial space. Oh and they have offshore tax plan. But the difference is they'll publish stories on it if it is the public interest.

Either way, better than a lot of other papers.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:37, archived)

Opinion pages are the only thing worth looking at in the papers.
Everything worth knowing is covered by the Today Programme.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:42, archived)

Don't change MM
That is comedy gold
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:49, archived)

Rest assured, I never will.
Come to think of it, I probably rely on the Friday 6:30 comedy slot to keep up to date on current events.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:50, archived)

Seamus Milne is head of communication for Corbs.
On sabbatical from The Guardian.

I wouldn't pay £2 for it.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:48, archived)

The writer of the Daily Mail article a year and a day ago who proclaimed May as the new Thatcher
Is now her press secretary. Your point again? It is a revolving door between politics and newspapers. I am anti-Corbyn, but I can see through it. Tell me how you can see through the Sun and the Mails reporting to the actual facts?
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:50, archived)

None, especially.
Other than Seamus Milne is a cunt.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:53, archived)

He is indeed
And Owen Jones needs a better job where he doesn't have to say ridiculous things for cash.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:55, archived)

I was agreeing with
"The Guardian arn't squeaky clean, they keep shitloads of their journos on 0 hour contracts and they give Corbyn's cronys editorial space. Oh and they have offshore tax plan."
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:54, archived)

Read it online for nothing.
Really stick it to them!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:59, archived)

And they did an Op Ed piece on James O'Brien earlier in the week
Lashing out like toddlers.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:33, archived)

I've seen him being retweeted a lot.
No idea who he is.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:37, archived)

Does 10-1pm on LBC
A very good listen actually.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:38, archived)

None the wiser.
Thanks, though.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:41, archived)

Private school educated sjw , and a fucking cunt

( mongychops, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:54, archived)

I see.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 16:57, archived)

Post-prandial thread.
Digestion, a beer and the office heating cranked up to maximum have just conspired to make me come so close to falling asleep that I almost fell off my chair, then actually made me fall asleep and snore loudly in full earshot of the big boss. I'm so smooth sometimes.

How's your day going?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:08, archived)

I wish IT would make good on their promise to replace my laptop.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:14, archived)

ლ(´ڡ`ლ)
( $$ ✅, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:18, archived)

What?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:22, archived)

(ΘεΘ;)
( $$ ✅, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:28, archived)

Do these make more sense if I squint?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:30, archived)

Is there anything with which you can blackmail them?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:18, archived)

I could threaten to leak all the porn from the harddrive,
but I sense that could backfire.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:19, archived)

all that juicy revenge porn I bet

( $$ ✅, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:21, archived)

The IT manager for a neighbouring college when I was at university
was also the guy who had a server with 20 GB (a huge amount at the time) of pirated films, series and software in his flat. The server's name was Tinky-Winky.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:22, archived)

The IT manager at the school my wife worked at turned out to be a nonce.
Plenty of dodgy grot being stored on the school's network.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:25, archived)

OK, you win.
That's several orders of magnitude worse. Funny how often they end up working at schools, isn't it?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:27, archived)

Not really, no.
Actually, there was another teacher there who got outed as a paedophile, when his boyfriend found compromising pictures of girls in school uniform on his computer. That was a weird one.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:29, archived)

I can just imagine the boyfriend being more shocked by the straightness of the cheating than by the nonceness.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:31, archived)

Quite.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:39, archived)

This reminds me that the servers at my first office had wakki names: Trillian, Zaphod and Hactar.
The IT manager there was a cock.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:32, archived)

most places have wakki names for servers
I've seen star wars characters, greek gods, famous cows etc.
( $$ ✅, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:34, archived)

Famous cows?
Sounds like a question off Shooting Stars. Name a famous cow.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:37, archived)

Ermintrude

( mongychops, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:41, archived)

milka

( $$ ✅, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:44, archived)

Ermintrude, Milka, um, no that's it.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:45, archived)

OK, so there are a maximum of two elements in the 'servers named after famous cows' set.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:48, archived)

daisy

( $$ ✅, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:51, archived)

Alright, HAL

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:55, archived)

Kerry Katona
oh hahahaha
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:00, archived)

He'.
I was going to say "Theresa May" but I couldn't be faffed.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:02, archived)

lazy

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:05, archived)

Ermintrude, Gladys, Clarabelle (sp?), The Laughing...

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:03, archived)

we're moving from fully functional Win7 units
to Win 10 at some point this year. I'm sure dozens of dedicated and expensive software tools will be fucked sideways by it all.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:22, archived)

I've had two Win10 machines softbricked by windows updates, at home.
It really is a stinky pile of poo.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:23, archived)

Mine never fully shuts down
For all intents and purposes, it's 'off', but the power light stays on. Never did it before the update.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:12, archived)

I added a button to the taskbar on my daughter's machine, so that it properly shuts down, instead of that "hybrid sleep" nonsense.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:18, archived)

link pls

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:18, archived)

to a page describing how to create the button, not a link to you daughter's computer, you fucking animal

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:19, archived)

This looks familiar :
www.dell.com/support/article/uk/en/ukbsdt1/sln288446/how-to-create-a-shutdown-button-for-windows-8-or-windows-10?lang=en

Might have had to disable Fast Start, too, can't remember.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:42, archived)

I'll give it a go, cheers

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:44, archived)

s'alright spose

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:22, archived)

Mahsn't grahmble.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:29, archived)

Yeah, alright
I'll feel better when we've exchanged contracts, but things are going ok.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:29, archived)

contracts bodily fluids
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:32, archived)

hey, whatever it takes

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:32, archived)

bodily fluids long protein strings
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:36, archived)

Just another manic monday

( mongychops, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:37, archived)

sorry to hear that

( $$ ✅, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:43, archived)

Innit doh.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:44, archived)

Wrote a huuuuuuuge test document (80 pages plus) a few months ago, washed my hands of it
Document has boomeranged back round to me to test a system with :(
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:16, archived)

gutted
how many test cases?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:21, archived)

30+ by the looks of it
And each is chunky with about 25 points to them *sigh*
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:25, archived)

I did two 39-steppers this morning
checking if a reporting tool displayed values in thousands (k) instead of full digits...
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:28, archived)

Get you, this is a full system one
So we are talking about 2 weeks with data setup
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:32, archived)

bollocks to that
I usually get about 90mins between the devs deploying a new version to the TEST env, and the PM telling me "business will be doing SATs on that environment at noon". Brilliant project management.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:41, archived)

Something tells me I might not be working with the best people...

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:43, archived)

Dude.
Bogus.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:23, archived)

It is totally, like
Not rad
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:31, archived)

There's a lot of fucking stupid fucking nerd stuff in this thread m8

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:26, archived)

there is now you're here

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:28, archived)

One of our IT guys looks like a fat Harry hill and is a complete weapons grade specimen.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:30, archived)

It is pretty nerdy, but the opening gambit was so open that it could have gone in any direction really.
It's not as if I'd asked a question about something deliberately nerdy like speaker cables.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:32, archived)

I even died a little inside reply to that

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:37, archived)

It's your fault. Learn to take responsibility for your actions

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:39, archived)

I'll take my share of responsibility for what's happened.
But I'm not the only guilty party here.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:46, archived)

Cartier have released some lovely watches this week

( mongychops, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:33, archived)

Does your fetish extend to coo coo clocks
Or are you strictly a wrist man?
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:38, archived)

Only mechanical watches for now

( mongychops, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:40, archived)

alright 'Clarence Ashley'
youtu.be/hvJ6M0Oz0lU
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 15:25, archived)

I might get myself a new watch soon.
What's my best bet on a budget of about 300 quid?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:40, archived)

15 on the watch, put the rest on something worthwhile.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:45, archived)

Seiko really at that price , solid and reliable

( mongychops, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 14:48, archived)

Spent most of the week searching for jobs
So today I'm sat here stoned eating cookies and watching snooker
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 15:34, archived)

This thread is for you.
My boss is a wanker because he keeps forgetting to order stuff I need holding jobs up and making life hard.
We know why McBeefs boss is a wanker, we also know why you're a wanker. But can you tell me why your boss is a wanker. Or a previous boss. Maybe you're the boss and you're a wanker.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:04, archived)

morning

( mongychops, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:05, archived)

Retired are we?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:07, archived)

Can't retire, too young

( mongychops, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:13, archived)

Any old boss stories? I bet you worked for some pricks over the years.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:18, archived)

Yep , I've had bosses who'd sack you on Friday in a hissy fit then go mental Monday when you didn't turn up

( mongychops, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:20, archived)

Ive worked with many of those too!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:52, archived)

I had a boss
Who said in the morning "Don't worry. You've only just started, and this is complicated stuff. It'll take you time to get the hang of it."
Then took me into the office in the afternoon, because she was concerned that I just wasn't getting it, and am I sure this is the right job for me. A couple of other people there told me she was mental, and did this to everyone.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:09, archived)

she wanted you

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:16, archived)

She was, and remains to this day, the most scottish person I've ever met
She called people 'hen'.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:23, archived)

My boss back in Tunbridge Wells was so Scottish, she'd actually say "Jings!" when stressed.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:30, archived)

red shirt, thick glasses, had a Great Dane?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:35, archived)

Yes, I worked for Tesco Value Velma Donkey.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:37, archived)

lol, "Donkey"

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 12:04, archived)

Not really.
He's a very fair bloke who let's me get on with it. Gives me all the flexibility I need and if I have any questions or want to get his opinion, he is happy to help.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:06, archived)

What a useful WANKER he is.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:07, archived)

No need to show off

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:08, archived)

I bet he strokes your hair when you suck him off too

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:24, archived)

My boss at southern leccy fired one of my colleagues because he had so much time off for cancer treatment

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:07, archived)

Well. Yeah, proper workers would come in with cancer.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:08, archived)

Oh, he did. Every day
Except the days he was having chemo. Apparently he was "tired". What a loser.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:09, archived)

Sounds like a prick

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:14, archived)

He had a bleach blonde mohawk and wore leather boots with massive spikes sticking out of them
He was a nice guy...but he dressed like a knob.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:15, archived)

Poor old AA

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:19, archived)

Was the Mohawk caused by th4 chemo....

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:28, archived)

woah

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:31, archived)

Did he get away with it,
or drag them through a tribunal?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:33, archived)

I think he (mohawk) was a contractor, so there wasn't much he could do
That being said, I haven't spoken to him since, and I technically quit that job on the same day. So short answer; I don't know, maybe.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:36, archived)

Oh, OK.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:37, archived)

I don't really have bosses
I have people who ask me to do stuff and I agree to or not. But the old boss I worked for was a raging prick who was convinced his slavic cobbled together web-app was going to destroy Silicon Valley and make him a billionaire overnight. He's bankrupt now.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:08, archived)

What was the app was supposed to do?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:11, archived)

Crazy frog ring tone generator

( mongychops, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:18, archived)

it was a drag-and-drop app builder
so you could make your own apps for android and iphone. But it was completely functionless when he did all his marketing, and way too confusing to use once it actually did anything.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:21, archived)

My old boss openly admitted he had no idea how to manage people.
He expected you to have as much knowledge and experience of the sector on your first day on the job as he had from working in it for thirty years, and got angry when you didn't. Not a fundamentally bad person, but absolutely not boss material and a bit too highly strung.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:09, archived)

My current boss is a bit like that.
Nice enough really, come off the tools, but no great management skills.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:19, archived)

Yeah.
The guy was a whizz at his own job. Knew the inner workings of every machine we sold down to the smallest detail.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:20, archived)

You want to look a the people who promoted them.
HR folk that don't know their arsehole from their elbow.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:19, archived)

My boss is lovely, a real pleasure to work for (despite the job itself being a bit shit).
Doubt my underling would say the same about me, though.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:36, archived)

ask me again following the outcome of this year's pay review

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:41, archived)

the companies house website is free now
so you can see how well (depending if they are on there) the company is doing and use it against them.
( $$ ✅, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:55, archived)

I can see how well they are doing from here
so they are sort of like Schrödinger's wanker until this time next week
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:14, archived)

Unless your job is posting shit on here that nobody wants to read I'd say you deserve a pay cut

( mongychops, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:16, archived)

Are you not getting paid, mongy?
I thought everyone was getting a slice of b3ta's ad revenue.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:23, archived)

I make no apologies for my excellent time management skills

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:26, archived)

t l
*mixes up another Margarita*
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:55, archived)

I had a boss who had fuck all people skills
the company eventually pushed him into his own department with him being the only person in it. He left after a while.
( $$ ✅, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:53, archived)

I like this.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:01, archived)

When I was at Lockheed
there was a woman who NO ONE liked. Over the space of about 5 years, she'd worked in just about every department, because she never lasted more than a few months. She'd upset everyone, and then she'd get transferred.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:05, archived)

Blood on your hands

( mongychops, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:14, archived)

he fingered her?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:16, archived)

She left my department before I got there
For which I was very thankful
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:24, archived)

and yeah, I didn't feel good about working for LM
like I don't feel 100% fantastic about working for the company I'm at now. But hey, I loves the currency!
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:27, archived)

My colleague's missus got headhunted from one of the large banks to work at BAE.
I have to assume she has no soul.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:39, archived)

My first boss when I moved to Manchester was a treat.
He had ADHD or something... Loud and shouty. Would often walk round the office naked. Had prostitutes in his office. Snorted coke all day.
He often had me running errands, such as dry cleaning, or buying bottles of champagne from Selfridges at 10am...

My last straw working there was when guys came to the office looking for him, locked and loaded. That was definitely time to say adieu.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 10:55, archived)

Did he drove a honda accord?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:06, archived)

And if not, what DID he drove?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:07, archived)

He droved a 4x4

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:19, archived)

I knew someone who drave one of those

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:25, archived)

my boss is such a wanker he keeps getting long-serving members of staff fired in order to steal their desks and further his own career and I'm pretty certain he's dealing drugs

(Gerald was innocent, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:22, archived)

#justice4gerald

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:25, archived)

haha

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:25, archived)

surely he could have stolen their chairs easily enough
if they were long standing
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:26, archived)

👎
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:31, archived)

Lulzors

( mongychops, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:33, archived)

There's a qotw post in that account that needs some backstory.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:37, archived)

I'm guessing it's hoodbutter
that's the only relationship scandal I can remember of qftw
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:40, archived)

Wasn't hoodbutter the one with the tragic parties

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:44, archived)

It's tangles spare account

( mongychops, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:54, archived)

several people appear to be in on the 'joke'
including this knobcheese: b3ta.com/questions/breakingup/post2086239
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 12:07, archived)

That wasn't me

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Jan 2018, 12:28, archived)

Can confirm boss is a wanker, am boss.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:57, archived)

Jeremy Hunt is your boss, gutted

( mongychops, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 11:58, archived)

Oh right. Guess my boss is a cunt then.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 12:46, archived)

GPs are independent contractors, aren't they?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:01, archived)

Yes but have given up trying to explain that to people on here.
Plus even though I technically run my own business and decide what services I'm going to provide it's hard not to feel like Jeremy Hunt's bitch.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 13:24, archived)

I've just received a call from the job centre
Telling me I'll be doing work experience there, so I'm pretty sure my boss will be a wanker
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 12:22, archived)

Job Centres are strange beasts.
In the two or three months I was registered with my local one, I saw a grand total of one person get a job thanks to their efforts...as a recruitment adviser with the Job Centre.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 12:29, archived)

They're shit at finding people jobs

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 12:30, archived)

I think you're missing the point. They're not there to help people get jobs, they're there to put people off claiming JSA

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 12:47, archived)

Skim reading important emails and then replying as if we'd written the opposite

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 12:33, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 7:10, archived)

I've been invited to a "gong bath noise therapy meditation and yoga session"
What do you reckon?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Jan 2018, 7:40, archived)

I think it sounds like a waste of time and oxygen in the presence of meatsacks devoid of all sentience
but what do I know?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 7:48, archived)

I've also been invited to talk to the Oxford arm of the British Vintage motorcycle club,
In spite of the fact that I've only owned 1 vintage British bike and that was years ago.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Jan 2018, 7:51, archived)

there's probably not many people like that left
like Brexit voters, they die off every year
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 7:55, archived)

Yeah, I went once to their Monday meeting on the CZ,
Spoke to the president about a few things around the rebuild and he emailed to go down and talk about the wiring loom I made and my rig for making and wrapping the cable.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Jan 2018, 7:59, archived)

this sounds like an offshoot of The Detectorists

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:00, archived)

Yeah, but he said he'd get me a couple of pints.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:02, archived)

bath noise therapy meditation and yoga farming
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:43, archived)

Alright, Terry Deary

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 9:10, archived)

Yeah, it was a bit obscure
but I was fairly sure someone would get it
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 9:11, archived)

take a load of mushrooms and insist on listening to Camembert Electrique during the session

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:44, archived)

hi
jolly windy here
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 7:55, archived)

please to meet you, Mr Windy

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 7:56, archived)

Morning.
Blustery, confrontational and sulky so far. The wind'd take the paint off a mooring bollard; two people waiting for the tram got into an argument and got vaguely fighty; and the atmosphere in the office is at its usual "right in the middle of a bitter divorce" level of friendship and lulz.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:17, archived)

I suspect there's a river of evil pink mood slime flowing under your town

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:23, archived)

It would explain a lot on days like this.
I should probably finish cleaning that big painting of a grumpy bloke that's been hanging on the office wall since the New Year.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:37, archived)

try not to steal any babies, k?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:48, archived)

Fortunately that's not likely to happen.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:50, archived)

^ is like the buzzing of flies

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:58, archived)

morning

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:36, archived)

short and to the point
like an IKEA pencil
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:41, archived)

they built one of those hideous blue monstrosities in our city centre right next to a 14th century church
but the plus side is that I never have to go there, previously if my wife wanted to go I had to drive her to Wednesbury
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:48, archived)

they're building a new one down the road from me
which is awful from a traffic perspective, but good that I don't have to schlep to the other side of the city next time the wife drops an armful of crockery, which she does on a semi-regular basis.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:52, archived)

hi

( $$ ✅, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:58, archived)

hiyaaa

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 9:02, archived)

skrrrt!!
i.imgur.com/6BAK9e8.jpg
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 9:39, archived)

Unlike gong farming, I don't understand this at all.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 9:57, archived)

Yes.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 9:04, archived)

glad you could finally drag yourself in.

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 9:07, archived)

I'd drag myself out, but it's a bit chilly, this morning.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 9:11, archived)

Getting a dog
Name suggestions please.
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 19:04, archived)

Cuntpuncher

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 19:23, archived)

That
would be a nice thing to shout in the park.
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 20:03, archived)

OH JESUS CHRIST CUNTPUNCHER

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 20:05, archived)

vestal masturbation knock-off spotted in singapore market

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 22:15, archived)

Cradle of filth lyric spotted.

(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Thu 18 Jan 2018, 0:33, archived)

now my shirt a guy on another forum made it

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 0:53, archived)

vestal masturbation andrew lloyd webber
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 8:42, archived)

Landshark shitmachine

( mongychops, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 19:32, archived)

Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr.

( $$ ✅, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 19:34, archived)

My brother's cat was called tugwell Gibson the third

( mongychops, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 19:38, archived)

Doggy McCuntface

( broadsword w⚓, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 19:35, archived)

Surrogate

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 19:38, archived)

Did you see they found Steve McQueen's car from bullitt, god know what that's worth

( mongychops, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 19:48, archived)

I heard they found A car a while back, in some Mexican scrapyard or summink
quite a few were used though, so it's not the only one about.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 20:03, archived)

This
www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.vanityfair.com/style/2018/01/steve-mcqueen-lost-bullitt-mustang-is-unveiled/amp
( mongychops, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 20:07, archived)

I'd still rather have Paul Newman's watch

( mongychops, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 20:09, archived)

that's pretty impressive
and it mentions that Mexican jump car too. Good find.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 20:28, archived)

Apparently it's still go the studio pass sticker to park and get in

( mongychops, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 20:48, archived)

mint
I'm glad the lad has kept the patina on it. Too many old classics getting resprayed.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 22:04, archived)

Menstrual Bloodfart

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Jan 2018, 19:48, archived)

Is that unisex?

( mongychops, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 19:49, archived)

Yeah, I reckon

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Jan 2018, 19:52, archived)

#infest

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 20:28, archived)

Hitler

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 19:54, archived)

Cat

( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 19:58, archived)

call it lol, then you can say this is my dog, lol and people will say what's his name, and you'll say lol

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 20:01, archived)

lol

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 20:04, archived)

In which case
I shall call it yatwat. This is my dog yatwat.
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 20:06, archived)

lol

( broadsword w⚓, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 20:06, archived)

b3ta

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 22:25, archived)

lol

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 22:51, archived)

cheers

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 23:26, archived)

pauly pops

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 20:27, archived)

I hope you buy one of gonzo's knitted leads.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 20:29, archived)

are they
heavy being made of lead?
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 20:40, archived)

Don't be a melvin.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 21:09, archived)

Genghis Fuckpaws

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 17 Jan 2018, 21:15, archived)

sitting up a tree
h-o-w-l-i-n-g
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 21:37, archived)

whoah wait a minute there's no need to change your name just because you're getting a dog

( vladimir, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 22:19, archived)

Sexdog

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 22:49, archived)

That's wot I call ur nan lol

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 23:13, archived)

tom bones

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 23:17, archived)

mick wagger

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 23:18, archived)

dog stewart

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 23:18, archived)

englebert humpaleg

( broadsword w⚓, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 23:19, archived)

disgusting

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 23:22, archived)

Mohammed

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 22:59, archived)

Dogald Trump

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 23:01, archived)

Willy Bum Bum is a good name for a dog, I reckon.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 23:12, archived)

Bark Fuckerberg

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 23:26, archived)

Dave.

( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Thu 18 Jan 2018, 4:44, archived)

Crap up the wall, it's 12.22
My hangover is getting worse. What's getting worse for you?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:22, archived)

My muff guffs are kicking off something chronic

( broadsword w⚓, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:24, archived)

Get muffler

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:36, archived)

+we're up all night to

( broadsword w⚓, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:37, archived)

gfycat.com/LimpingScaredLeonberger
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:05, archived)

life

( $$ ✅, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:25, archived)

+ is the name of the game, and I wanna play the game with you

( broadsword w⚓, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:26, archived)

thank you
x
( $$ ✅, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:27, archived)

Mine is getting better by the day

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:36, archived)

oh life

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:15, archived)

b3ta

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:28, archived)

Yup

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:38, archived)

My hair
Fading badly and needs recolouring
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:29, archived)

Go blue

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:38, archived)

Always do

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:07, archived)

not sure

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:30, archived)

Ok, no pressure

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:38, archived)

getting excited now, windus
February 2nd.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:41, archived)

I'm excited too
Can't wait for the housewarming party
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:43, archived)

you can come visit, if you like

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:44, archived)

homosexualwarming party more like!

( $$ ✅, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:26, archived)

no one likes a cold homosexual

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:40, archived)

terrible bullying of bent eskimos

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 14:18, archived)

"No, that's just frost on my mustache."

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 14:30, archived)

^blown a seal

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 14:55, archived)

Eskihomos

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 15:00, archived)

the weather
sun's coming out and melting the snow but not enough to evaporate, so it'll melt into sheet ice by the evening.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:32, archived)

The pain between contractions

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:32, archived)

France, apparently
Mum just phoned to tell me their hotel room got burgled. Fuckers got £200.
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:36, archived)

I bet it was immigrants

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:52, archived)

Hotel staff probably
The police aren't helping and her insurance company are on about a £200 waiver or somesuch, so it's not worth claiming
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:12, archived)

So... They paid for insurance to not be insured?
Cunts.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:21, archived)

(the insurers, btw)

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:21, archived)

yep
they're going to be back in the same area tomorrow, so they're going to see if anything's been done
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 15:26, archived)

frinkiac.com/video/S07E23/DT_3bC9y3N-7y881x7cwRFcoAWA=.gif
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 14:20, archived)

pff

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 14:56, archived)

r
£200 their Andrew Sisters LP.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:04, archived)

She prefers Marty Robbins

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:09, archived)

Ask me about Hoteloom

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:12, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8144532
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:45, archived)

The level of my employees' satisfaction at getting paid in bitcoin.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:36, archived)

market's not doing too great at the moment

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:37, archived)

You can say that again.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:39, archived)

I spread mine across LTC and ripple too
and 30 quid on TRON cos the name made me giggle.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:40, archived)

I spread mine across your nan last christmas, m8
and when she giggled, it made her TRON ripple
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:42, archived)

Woah

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:43, archived)

don't shoot the messenger, m8

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:44, archived)

bloody hell m8, have you no decency?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:47, archived)

I'm more surprised that you feel the need to ask that question

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:47, archived)

Was it ever going to be anything other than a bubble?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:42, archived)

Bitcoin? Hard to say
But there are other "coins" out there that actually have a purpose, like Ripple. Trouble is, as long as the market is unregulated, any bank or fund can step in and manipulate the fuck out of it, which is what's going on at the moment.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:46, archived)

The story this morning
was that bitcoin's rise in value from $150 to $1,000 was thought to have been perpetuated by one single person. Make of that what you will.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:49, archived)

I made a picture of a bumhole out of it

( broadsword w⚓, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:51, archived)

Sound investment there.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:52, archived)

Cor

( mongychops, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:53, archived)

Even regulated that can happen, people were fucking carillon for two weeks before the collapse, selling one dollar debts at 45cents

( mongychops, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:55, archived)

next you'll be telling me self-regulation doesn't work

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:02, archived)

Nothing works

( mongychops, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:38, archived)

What is the use of ripple then?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:01, archived)

It's like a flake but nicer

( mongychops, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:02, archived)

The token itself doesn't have much value because there are so many of them (compared to BTC's 21m)
but the protocol/blockchain it uses can process transactions so much faster than other coins. Japan and Korea have been testing it to replace bank-to-bank transfers. So each transaction costs pennies, compared to Bitcoin's $15-$20 "mining charge".
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:03, archived)

Today has been like
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:19, archived)

when I awoke at 11 I got blinded by snow and sunshine outside.
i'm staying inside today.
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 12:55, archived)

Im quite fine actually
Coasting through the week.
Working minimal.

Birthday at the weekend with a friend visiting on Friday.
Can't grumble at all.

YAWN
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:07, archived)

Cool story, bro.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:24, archived)

She says...
Rambling old cunt.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:37, archived)

At least I've got summat to say, yer cheeky get.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 13:38, archived)

Just had something get the opposite of worse.
The guy from the job interview's just called to ask me to come and meet the management next week. Second stage, here we come.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 15:40, archived)

good luck

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 15:41, archived)

Thanks babez.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 15:43, archived)

have you been asked 'where you see yourself in five years time' yet?

( $$ ✅, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 15:42, archived)

Yes, actually! They wheeled out that old chestnut the first time round.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 15:44, archived)

Hark, what thread from yonder forum breaks
The physiotherapist at my first appointment yesterday was a lovely young lass, as was her colleague, both boiling over with positive energy. Unlike the sour old git who saw me in A&E and who gave me an uncompassionate look as if to say "You big fat idiot". Best and worst bedside manner chat.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:14, archived)

you big fat idiot

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:17, archived)

^ sour old git

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:19, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 7:38, archived)

I saw a punk band and bought their cassette.
It was like going back in time.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Jan 2018, 7:49, archived)

I wouldn't even know where to buy a cassette deck these days
I don't own any dedicated music-playing equipment any more
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 7:51, archived)

Build your own

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 7:53, archived)

I've cobbled together an amp from spare parts before, but it was unsurprisingly shit
and I built that PC into my car primarily for tunes, if that counts.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:01, archived)

Does it play cassettes?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:02, archived)

nah, it plugged into a cheap Creative Zen player and a pair of old car speakers
so that I could listen to shit metal while working in my garage
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:04, archived)

I really want a garage

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:10, archived)

Argos

( mongychops, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 7:55, archived)

+z

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 7:56, archived)

we don't have anything like that here
for some reason Poles don't seem keen on Elizabeth Duke jewellery
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:01, archived)

They are on ebay, I was pointing out they a freely available to buy

( mongychops, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:25, archived)

ten quid, sorted.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:40, archived)

I had to dig one out to listen to tangled posters cassette.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Jan 2018, 7:59, archived)

I hope you chucked both into a skip immediately afterwards

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:00, archived)

I actually thought it was alright.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:06, archived)

^ was wowed and fluttered

( artifus is doing it all wrong, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:14, archived)

xx

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:51, archived)

Just found this
www.oxfordprison.co.uk/
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:05, archived)

I walk past it every morning.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:06, archived)

Oh right
Is it full of "quirky" hipsters looking for something "different"?
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:11, archived)

No. It's a soulless chain hotel with a stupid gimmick
It's worth going in for a beer and having a wander about, the old .etal staircases are still there and there is some interesting history.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:14, archived)

Ultra noisy surely, all that metal if people are coming and going of a night time
unless there's a prison-style "everyone must be in their cells by 10 for lights out"
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:19, archived)

ultra low noise metal
tdk innit
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:22, archived)

I think there's a normal staircase for access as well.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:29, archived)

I saw Václav Havel's old prison cell in Prague, in another prison that's become a hotel.
Their concession to brightening up the decor was to paint the bars of the cell doors hot pink.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:11, archived)

^ booked the Gay Bridal Suite

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:18, archived)

They missed a trick, really: it would have made a perfect gay bondage dungeon.
They probably thought that was 'disrespectful to the heritage of a national leader' or something.

Also: morning.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:22, archived)

Five nights in the JK Simmons room, please

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:24, archived)

Are you rushing or are you in-dragging?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:27, archived)

I'd book the room next door
and when I heard a happy couple going at it, I'd scream through the wall "ARE YOU DRAGGING OR RUSHING?!"
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:37, archived)

i1.theportalwiki.net/img/b/ba/Cave_Johnson_fifties_fourth_test_complete01.wav
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:42, archived)

Best video game voice acting EVAR.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:52, archived)

Yep

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:29, archived)

that's the can-do attitude this place needs more of.

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:32, archived)

i guess

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:41, archived)

Hey, I can sort out the van if you need a hand moving house.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:48, archived)

that's very kind, but it's in hand

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:52, archived)

Oh. Ok.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:55, archived)

You can come and make drinks for people, that will be helpful

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:58, archived)

No no, if you don't want me there you just had to say.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:12, archived)

i'd love you to be there

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:22, archived)

lol wanking

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:33, archived)

lol

( broadsword w⚓, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:44, archived)

haha yes

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:48, archived)

lol

( $$ ✅, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:07, archived)

hi

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:51, archived)

hello

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:53, archived)

well fancy seeing you here

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:54, archived)

I pop my head round the door, from time to time

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:55, archived)

p my head round the d o on the fl
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:20, archived)

get schwifty

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:33, archived)

Lick my flappy holdy holds
you son of a bitch
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:48, archived)

windy PMd me and told me your tape was shit but he didn't want to hurt your feelings

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:56, archived)

Hang on.
It's a Gaz, not a PM
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:58, archived)

well why would you tell me something like that?
unless you wanted to hurt my feelings
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:05, archived)

occam's razor cuts again

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:08, archived)

youtu.be/5HeEwPoDGnw
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:54, archived)

jesus H christ m8

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:57, archived)

hi

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:55, archived)

are you biting McBeef's style?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:59, archived)

amongst other things

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:18, archived)

style thumb
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:28, archived)

^

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 8:59, archived)

hello

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:23, archived)

oh yeah!
cheers
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:23, archived)

cheers

( $$ ✅, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:26, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/8144372
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:32, archived)

happy birthday Zooey Deschanel!

( $$ ✅, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:01, archived)

without wanting to go all dozer
it's a y from me
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:03, archived)

n
oooh i'm zooey, oooh i'm all quirky and that, ooooh

that's how she talks
( broadsword w⚓, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:46, archived)

by jove
you're right!
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:17, archived)

lols

( broadsword w⚓, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:33, archived)

phew, i thought no-one would see it now there's 2 new threads

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:42, archived)

I'm late for a meeting.
But not too late for the morning thread.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:11, archived)

this is a meeting m8, we're all suited and booted and there's biscuits and everything

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:13, archived)

Haven't you got a speakerphone I can dial in to?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:15, archived)

WEbex or GTFO

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:19, archived)

Hi. Just realised I forgot to put the recycling out last night. I'm gonna be in trouble when I get home :(

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:23, archived)

is your life really that shit?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:26, archived)

where's brb when you need them, eh?

( artifus is doing it all wrong, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:26, archived)

killed himself

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:28, archived)

oh

( artifus is doing it all wrong, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:30, archived)

Ay oop chuck

( broadsword w⚓, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:43, archived)

like MDMA crushed up into wrigleys
E by gum
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:46, archived)

Yes I would like, thanks

( broadsword w⚓, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:47, archived)

i.imgur.com/awynZWN.jpg
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:46, archived)

I'm pretty fond of the phrase "succulent housemeat".

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:47, archived)

You disgust me.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:51, archived)

I'm comfortable with that fact.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 9:57, archived)

well that thread turned out alright, I think

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Jan 2018, 10:08, archived)

alright
youtu.be/NpekEeMDroM
( mongychops, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 20:52, archived)

cheers for that

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 21:06, archived)

Train innit

( mongychops, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 21:10, archived)

Also in this
youtu.be/E7t8eoA_1jQ
( mongychops, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 21:17, archived)

Bunch of cockwombles

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 9:44, archived)

It's Dave "teh" Trouser!

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 9:50, archived)

well he wouldn't miss your special day, would he?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 9:54, archived)

Exactly.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 9:55, archived)

Hello.
I see you have candles. Sorry for your loss.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 9:55, archived)

I appreciate that

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 9:56, archived)

alright fannyflumps

( broadsword w⚓, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 9:53, archived)

Still breathing.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 9:56, archived)

I prefer heffalumps

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:47, archived)

Takes one to know one, that's what I always say.
I'm always saying that.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 9:53, archived)

Stand out from the crowd and find your own swearing style. Maybe yours will catch on.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 9:53, archived)

Fuckin' n00b
Piss off you grotty little wanker.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 9:56, archived)

well really

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 9:59, archived)

lol

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:00, archived)

haha we have a right laugh here, don't we?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:01, archived)

It hides the sexual tension.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:02, archived)

alright cocktopus

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 9:58, archived)

I am definitely calling it that from now on.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 9:59, archived)

bottom get

( $$ ✅, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 9:59, archived)

Try Grindr m8

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:00, archived)

My sense of humour hasn't moved on since the playground. I still find "you're gay" jokes funny.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:04, archived)

Your all gay.
McBeef loves old memes.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:07, archived)

mes n
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:17, archived)

I always knew he fancied me.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:22, archived)

Lol

( H.B.Mupps, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:23, archived)

Hello Mr. Trouser

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:11, archived)

Hello.
I did enjoy your sudden surprise truth attack down below. Most enjoyable.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:12, archived)

Thanks.
Please don't forget to vote in the monthly "poster of the month" on the last Friday of every month. I hope I can count on your vote.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:13, archived)

I have pre-voted, so it's guaranteed.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:14, archived)

pre- hi
oted
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 11:15, archived)

no thanks, grapes will be fine

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:13, archived)

It's the only mod in the village!
Your beard must be down to your toes by now?
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:13, archived)

getting nearer erry day
going a bit grey too
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:24, archived)

Gandolith 2020
Mine is THREE colours. THREE.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:26, archived)

the follicular tricolour, eh?

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:45, archived)

Red or green, seeded or seedless?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:14, archived)

yes

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:25, archived)

How many grapes can you get up your bum

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:26, archived)

Zero!
The many years of bummings have created massive haemorrhoids, which are kind of butt-grapes.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:28, archived)

not sure
sounds like a good way to make bumwine though
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:46, archived)

The only Dave I remember was "The Hat".
You're not him, are you?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:27, archived)

How rude.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:28, archived)

You don't remember the composer of moing?
youtu.be/iGuuXbPLtHU
( mongychops, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:31, archived)

I don't really look at /links.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:33, archived)

Young Dave! Was always here, had a fit mum

( mongychops, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:37, archived)

🤷‍♂️
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:40, archived)

WTF did I just watch?

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:36, archived)

MOING MOING MOING MOING

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:44, archived)

Exactly

( mongychops, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:47, archived)

Hello... Which one are you?
(grooming)
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:34, archived)

^bluenamer...

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:36, archived)

^ clickbait

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:45, archived)

Not the season for them, this time of year is just pissants

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 10:59, archived)

it is currently hailing outside
o/
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 11:20, archived)

This is the weather you deserve.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 11:39, archived)

Open a channel, Number One.
lol, you nerds love a bit of Star Trek.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 12:14, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 6:33, archived)

first
morning Grrr.
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 6:41, archived)

alright woodo
plans for the day?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 6:47, archived)

tak, getting some morning grub and then hoping that everyone else does what they're supposed to
I never have plans only grand designs. hbu m8, you gonna do anything good today?
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 6:52, archived)

I'm going to cover every nearby surface with snot

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 6:55, archived)

as long as it's your own, everything is fine

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 7:28, archived)

Alright .

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 16 Jan 2018, 7:00, archived)

been better.

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 7:19, archived)

Got a cold?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 16 Jan 2018, 7:36, archived)

yeah
and looking after a toddler with the same
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 7:37, archived)

Hairy chest
Morning
( H.B.Mupps, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 7:28, archived)

I have at least 3 hairs on my chest
morning
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 7:40, archived)

Here we go again.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 8:00, archived)

there's a pleasant if crushing inevitability to it all

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 8:04, archived)

Hello, and welcome to Tuesday.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 8:11, archived)

aaaaand here is your host....

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 8:13, archived)

Nothing ever changes but the shoes.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 8:16, archived)

I'm watching a sesame street episode about shoes
it's got Lucy Liu in it
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 8:31, archived)

PAGING DOZER

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 8:33, archived)

she's gonna be 50 this year

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 8:42, archived)

Besides, even if you wouldn't, she probably would.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 8:44, archived)

shoecy shiu, more like

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 8:58, archived)

"shoe shoe" is how you say wee wee in Polish, cunning linguists

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 9:07, archived)

She and Calista Flockhart lezzing it up were the only thing worth watching in 'Ally McBeal'.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 9:00, archived)

the only thing I remember from that show
was some "magic trick" where a bloke touched lucy liu's knee in a special way and gave her an orgasm.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 9:07, archived)

you're both bent, or under someone's thumb
or both
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 9:09, archived)

^

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 9:14, archived)

its so old that it was one of those stuck-indoors-with-a-teenage-gf shows
where you agree to sit through it just so you can try and feel her boobs without her noticing.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 9:20, archived)

bit rapey m8

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 9:34, archived)

everything 15-year-olds do is a bit rapey

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 9:37, archived)

That's sexual assault, m8.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 9:37, archived)

you probably submitted a form in triplicate asking if you can touch a girl's boobs

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 9:55, archived)

There was so much WTF and ridiculousness on that show, it defied belief.
I remember the bit where Fish lay down on the floor and Lucy Liu draped her hair over him, which was apparently a sex thang too. And the ancient and decrepit judge who was obsessed with people's teeth. That's about it.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 9:12, archived)

uh huh

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 8:37, archived)

fuck off back to graceland

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 8:42, archived)

yep

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 16 Jan 2018, 8:53, archived)