Hump day
Getting humped? Got the hump? Related to a camel?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 9:33, archived)

is there such a thing such as a waterlemon?
if not, there should be
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 9:38, archived)

do you mean a lemon the size of a bowling ball?
or just citrus for black people?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 9:45, archived)

THAT WAS DELIBERATELY RACIST FOR POST-IRONIC COMEDY EFFECT

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 9:45, archived)

You're wearing blackface, right now, aren't you?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 9:48, archived)

Yellow Wednesday m8

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 9:51, archived)

that's lacist
isn't someone here in genetics? I want a waterlemon!
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 9:47, archived)

You can have an etrog if you like. Will that do?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 9:53, archived)

had to look that up because I'm not Sephardic, m8

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 9:58, archived)

you make my heart sing m3+5

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 9:59, archived)

Remember when Richard Nixon got caught out at the Waterlemon Hotel?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 9:47, archived)

I just had an order from someone called Lemoine
Lemon + heroin. Maybe yours will catch on?
( broadsword w⚓, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 9:50, archived)

Does it rhyme with Hermione?
Lar-mar-knee?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 9:51, archived)

Dunno, I only saw it written down
so yes if you like
( broadsword w⚓, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 9:52, archived)

I'm Greg Jacobs.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 9:45, archived)

a cheap chain of high street cracker retailers?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 9:52, archived)

I'll cream your crack.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 10:06, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8147818
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 10:08, archived)

huh?

( $$ ✅, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 9:46, archived)

HUMP. DAY.

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 9:52, archived)

Only 19 more sleeps till my birthday

( mongychops, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 9:52, archived)

noone cares until that day has come.

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 9:53, archived)

Get bent you cunt

( mongychops, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 10:05, archived)

got any birthday plans?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 10:00, archived)

I'm gonna smash it up for a week

( mongychops, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 10:05, archived)

Not exactly
Got the annual ladyparts check that I'm not looking forward to
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 9:53, archived)

do they warm up the speculum in advance? quite cold otherwise, methinks

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 9:56, archived)

They don't, no

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 10:15, archived)

rip vagina :(

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 10:17, archived)

An episiotomy is preferable to a tear.
And will inevitably lead to a discussion of the fabled "husband's stitch".
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 11:01, archived)

She was more interested in talking about my T-shirt
Seems she likes AC/DC too
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 11:04, archived)

Bet you really regret not using the googly eyes, now,
just so you could say "my eyes are down there" when you caught her looking at your t-shirt.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 11:06, archived)

You made me do a giggle

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 11:39, archived)

AC/D&C more like

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 11:13, archived)

This is thread has turned rather grim.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 11:18, archived)

That would be most unpleasant

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 11:40, archived)

Why is a short sighted gynaecologist like a healthy puppy?
They both have a wet nose!

Hahahahahaha, the old jokes are the shittest!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 10:01, archived)

I heard it's like trying to get the last bit of yoghurt out of the pot
from the pot's perspective
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 10:05, archived)

It's certainly not pleasant
But with most of my family having had cancer, it is necessary.
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 10:18, archived)

Shave and apply googly eyes and lipstick before going in as a harmless but original prank.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 10:10, archived)

Is it bad that I actually have googly eyes?

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 10:16, archived)

Nowt wrong with that at all.
I had a bag of 500 of the things in my old desk before I had to throw the desk out.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 10:17, archived)

I have 3 packets of them
Not sure what to do with them yet
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 10:20, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/8147824
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 10:23, archived)

Bit late now, I'm already here
Good thing the surgery is only 5 doors away from my house, I should be done and home in about 15 minutes.
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 10:41, archived)

why did you throw it out?
Was it starting to look at you funny?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 10:25, archived)

I took it upstairs to my office in parts and built it up there.
Couldn't take it apart again to get it downstairs when I moved out without destroying it, so I had to destroy the thing.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 10:26, archived)

On your vagina?

( broadsword w⚓, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 10:33, archived)

No

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 10:38, archived)

Mama do the hump mama do the hump hump, mama
Won't you please let me do the hump hump
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 10:00, archived)

no I've googled that
I want to gouge out my eardrums
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 10:08, archived)

you started this

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 10:18, archived)

and I'll fucking end it m8

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 10:27, archived)

suicide seems a bit extreme, but if you've made your mind up I won't try to stop you

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 10:47, archived)

some fucker trucker fucked up a 2000-year old geoglyph (Peru, Nazca).

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 10:42, archived)

What a fuckwit

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 11:01, archived)

What?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 31 Jan 2018, 11:04, archived)

Someone got carried away by geocaching.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 11:16, archived)

Stupid cunt.
Glad they arrested him.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 11:06, archived)

typical gypos fly tipping

( $$ ✅, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 11:22, archived)

He was probably trying to draw a massive peanus.
like Tollund Man.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 31 Jan 2018, 11:27, archived)

Acccording to various healthcare professionals it turns out that I'm a brainwrong and probably always have been.
So what's probably always been wrong with you but you've managed to hide from yourself and others?

You're not allowed to start sentences with 'so'.
( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 16:10, archived)

so?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 16:17, archived)

So, you're a few kangaroos short of the top paddock?

( $$ ✅, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 16:19, archived)

So, who isn't?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 16:19, archived)

So, you're going to start wasting tax money on mental health care when you ought to be put down?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Jan 2018, 16:21, archived)

several unharmful birth defect

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 16:22, archived)

just wear a balaclava and no-one will notice

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 18:05, archived)

That's what they said about the sombrero

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 18:47, archived)

the sombrero was fine until you shaved off the moustache

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 19:11, archived)

It was interfering with my soup eating

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 19:45, archived)

I was Patient Zero for HIV.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 16:27, archived)

so, you're a monkey bumsexer

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 17:27, archived)

It was a wild holiday, things happened,
but the monkeys and I agreed never to speak of it.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 17:48, archived)

So, my sewing obsessoion when sober has soverely sodded up my exisostence

( broadsword w⚓, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 16:28, archived)

I might have gay fingers.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 16:31, archived)

right
so my missis works with a gay guy right, and she was telling me this story that involved this guy fingering the arsehole of his boyfriend and getting properly shat on. this resulted in the fingeree getting a shit related nickname.

thing is, and apparently nobody thought this was remarkable, his boyfriend was asleep at the time. that is, he was asleep, got fingered up the bum, and shat all over the place through no fault of his own.

the whole situation is fucked up. gets me quite angry tbpfh. this guy is essentially a gay finger bum rapist, and shit-the-bed guy is a victim more than twice over.

what i'm saying is having gay fingers isn't an excuse to behave badly.
( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 16:43, archived)

I'll cut off my fingers, just to be safe.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 16:46, archived)

You shouldn't judge unless you've walked a mile in someone else's gay fingers

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 18:10, archived)

so, I suffer from sulfur monoxide poisoning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 18:01, archived)

Is this about guffs?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 18:24, archived)

parps m8

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 18:53, archived)

Peter Gabriel's fifth studio album, shut up

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 18:05, archived)

Cardiac arrythmia

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 18:36, archived)

is a dancer

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 18:42, archived)

Gary Numan's B-sidezzzzzzzzz

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 19:02, archived)

Tracy Chapman's extended remizzzzzzzzzzzzz

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 19:02, archived)

My desk is covered in confetti.
What's your workspace covered with?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 13:41, archived)

Strings, rosin and spunk

( broadsword w⚓, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 13:42, archived)

Is that the secret to that stradivarius sound?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 13:44, archived)

spunk in various arse, more like

( broadsword w⚓, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 13:57, archived)

Bob & Marcia's lezzz

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 15:10, archived)

work

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 13:44, archived)

work, lippy, handbag, post it notes and anything else a 21st century woman needs to make it in this world.

( $$ ✅, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 13:46, archived)

i.redd.it/64hrjuapk0d01.jpg
( $$ ✅, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 13:46, archived)

"Please know that I'm not making light of"

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 13:49, archived)

frinkiac.com/video/S04E03/UBUmSCoPhk9oNr0mKRLKBSIIIhU=.gif
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 13:51, archived)

Alright, manolith

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 13:52, archived)

alright

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 14:07, archived)

i'd have never left that last frame in where the shot changes
but i respect tangles artistry
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 14:22, archived)

I admire your commitment to quality giffing.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 14:28, archived)

Mouse mat, sundry papers, fan, phone currently charging, Post-It notes, coffee pot and oversized coffee mug.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 13:47, archived)

Are mouse mats still necessary?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 13:50, archived)

Arguably more so now than ever, and you have to get the right kind.
Laser mice can't handle shiny desktops, because the reflection mucks up their sensors. I was chuffed a few weeks ago to find a mouse mat with a shamrock motif, but that was too shiny for my mouse to handle as well.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 13:54, archived)

Alright, Everlast

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 14:00, archived)

RIS

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 14:01, archived)

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shamrocks_%26_Shenanigans
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 14:05, archived)

Ah

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 14:06, archived)

+jump
+round
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 14:11, archived)

do you WANT mice to slip getting out of the shower?!

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 14:24, archived)

You know I do.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 14:30, archived)

You monster
youtu.be/fOI8bA3xEJU
( mongychops, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 15:39, archived)

Good old Roland.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 16:07, archived)

shattered hopes and dreams

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 13:49, archived)

Fat Lauren's work she should have done weeks ago, the fat fucking cow

( mongychops, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 14:02, archived)

oranges and polystyrene bowls

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 14:10, archived)

Letters from sex pests
Please stop sending them
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 14:10, archived)

One of my school nicknames was "sex beast".
I'm fairly certain it was ironic, as "wanker" would have been more accurate.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 14:20, archived)

stuff

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 14:25, archived)

can't get enough of the stuff

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 14:29, archived)

The Stuff is an odd film.
Death by pudding!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 14:30, archived)

i've got it on VHS somewhere
haven't watched it in years
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 14:37, archived)

My brother got it me on DVD, a while back.
It's in the pile of "things I ought to watch again but never get around to".
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 15:38, archived)

it hasn't aged well
i'm still trying to get night of the creeps on dvd. that's a fun one.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 15:52, archived)

Killer Tomatoes is on Amazon Prime.
Might watch that and see if it's as rubbish as I'd expect.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 16:04, archived)

it's massively silly

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 16:22, archived)

I've got some stuff right here

( $$ ✅, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 14:48, archived)

phwoooar

( broadsword w⚓, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 14:53, archived)

guff gas

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 14:54, archived)

is a little old cloud where we can get together

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 15:24, archived)

Tools and cable and rubbish and a lightbulb and a drill bit and some cable ties and you're a stupid cunt

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Jan 2018, 14:57, archived)

Wuv woo, Windy.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 15:39, archived)

A computer and a phone and a cup of tea

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 15:22, archived)

Morning.
Tuesday's child is full of aa.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 8:03, archived)

He was a proper boring cunt.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Jan 2018, 8:07, archived)

Not exactly the party animal of the bunch, agreed.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 8:08, archived)

hello

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 8:34, archived)

*surly nod*

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 8:45, archived)

+membership cards

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 8:38, archived)

Even more of a prized target for bullies than lunch money.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 8:46, archived)

RAC4LYF

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 8:54, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 8:55, archived)

Big day today

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 8:57, archived)

Wha' g'wan.
What time's the interview?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 9:01, archived)

10.15
I'll head off about 9.30. Bus doesn't take long and it stops right outside
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 9:12, archived)

Youse'll be grand, so youse will.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 9:21, archived)

All the best, Smash.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 9:28, archived)

groan

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 9:13, archived)

I hope your kid gets better soon
yeti is rubbish at morning threads
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 9:19, archived)

Right I'm gonna fight you now.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 9:22, archived)

no you're not

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 9:25, archived)

YOU. CAR PARK. NOW.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 9:28, archived)

+and shut the door on your way out

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 9:29, archived)

someone did a poo in our car park last night
can anyone verify mcbeef's whereabouts during this time?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 9:37, archived)

i can tell you he definitely wasn't at paul's

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 9:44, archived)

that's a shame

( $$ ✅, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 9:45, archived)

forever alone

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 10:03, archived)

^ all the Paul

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 9:47, archived)

you're all mouth and no trousers, m8ate

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 9:44, archived)

You wish.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 9:50, archived)

Is that what's been keeping him off morning thread duty?
No sense of priority, some people.

Get well soon, Control.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 9:27, archived)

I had to click about a billion times to get through my morning not a robot check :(((

( broadsword w⚓, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 9:32, archived)

I'm still not totally convinced you're not a robot

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 9:35, archived)

lol, "bot"

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 9:36, archived)

*bleep*
*blip*
( broadsword w⚓, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 10:02, archived)

Only a robot would exaggerate the number of clicks to that extent.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 9:36, archived)

Anyone know how to debug Bluetooth on Windows 10?
It worked fine yesterday. Today my work laptop has deactivated its Bluetooth and I can't figure out how to switch it back on. The conventional 'turn Bluetooth on' toggle switch is nowhere to be found.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 9:40, archived)

yes

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 9:41, archived)

Go on then, smarty-technopants.
What's the secret?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 9:42, archived)

well it wouldn't be a secret then would it

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 9:52, archived)

I can help

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Jan 2018, 9:43, archived)

Help me, Obi-Win Kepiggy...you're my only hope.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 9:52, archived)

Google it you goon.
Or go see your IT department and ask nicely.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Jan 2018, 10:12, archived)

Try rebooting.
My daughter's laptop refused to connect on WiFi (it'd switch itself back off whenever it was switched on), but shutting it down prompted a flurry of updates, and then it worked again.

Tl;Dr: Win10 is arse.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 9:44, archived)

Yeah, I've done that a couple of times already.
What's doing my nut in is the fact that the Bluetooth devices all show up in the device manager, as inactive, but when you run the troubleshooter it tells you that "Bluetooth is not installed on this device." And yet all the drivers are up-to-date.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 9:51, archived)

ah yes this is a very common problem that is easily resolved

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 9:53, archived)

can confirm
i just simulated and resolved the problem just then. piece of piss.
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 10:04, archived)

Then I'm out of ideas.
Unless you're in a position to install a proper OS, in which case you should do that.
Shame Grrry is otherwise engaged, he's one of the few people I know with anything good to say about Win10.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 10:00, archived)

I'd quite happily go back to Windows 7 but I don't think it would go down very well in the office.
The countdown has been launched: will Bluetooth spontaneously return before Grrry's kid gets better?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 10:04, archived)

Just a thought but if you can get in to Device Manager, can you make sure the Bluetooth adapter isn't disabled?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 10:10, archived)

I can and it is, but the option to re-enable it is greyed out.
When I go under 'Properties', it says the adapter isn't connected to the computer. Faulty contact?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 10:13, archived)

Dunno.
If it's a work machine, you might as well leave it for IT to deal with.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 10:31, archived)

Surely he wouldn't have been a thicko mcdivvy enough to not have tried that first

( broadsword w⚓, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 10:14, archived)

Always assume everyone is as thick as me,
and work up from that level.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 10:34, archived)

What you need is the conventional 'turn Bluetooth on' toggle switch

( broadsword w⚓, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 10:04, archived)

It's a good job you're here, Captain Obvious!

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 10:09, archived)

No probs

( broadsword w⚓, Tue 30 Jan 2018, 10:12, archived)

Newer, fewer shit thread.
I handed in my resignation this morning and my bosses just sort of went "Oh...OK". Since I'd given them a 50% probability of throwing a hissy fit, I'm chalking it up as a good result.

How is yr day going lol?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 29 Jan 2018, 12:31, archived)

On to bigger and better things, I hope?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 29 Jan 2018, 12:36, archived)

Damn skippy.
At the moment I get luncheon vouchers and the use of a kettle. In just over a month's time, I'll have a company restaurant, a gym, a concierge service and a recording studio, plus a 15% raise. And a company cat.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 29 Jan 2018, 12:38, archived)

Company cat lols

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 29 Jan 2018, 12:38, archived)

My dad read my e-mail telling him the news and thought I wrote "company car".
Reasonable mistake to make, I reckon.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 29 Jan 2018, 12:40, archived)

What you actually meant to write cat?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 29 Jan 2018, 12:42, archived)

Yes, there is a company cat. He spends most of his time lounging on the sofas in the reception waiting room.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 29 Jan 2018, 12:42, archived)

Ugh, litter tray in the workplace kitchen, fuck that ahm oot

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 29 Jan 2018, 12:45, archived)

Also, I hope you're not doing this just to escape the accusations of harassment from a married cyclist.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 29 Jan 2018, 12:40, archived)

Ha!
She'll be one of the few aspects of this place I will miss.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 29 Jan 2018, 12:42, archived)

^in it for the pussy

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 29 Jan 2018, 12:40, archived)

u know it

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 29 Jan 2018, 12:43, archived)

Ask if you can forgo access to the company cat for a £10 a month pay rise.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 29 Jan 2018, 13:59, archived)

Frankly I'd pay €10 a month to have access to the company cat if it were a paid extra.
Working with a cat on my lap would hark back to the good old days of working as a freelancer at home.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 29 Jan 2018, 14:04, archived)

or an
( Cheers Cheers, Mon 29 Jan 2018, 14:12, archived)

he'

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 29 Jan 2018, 14:21, archived)

I knelt down and my trousers ripped, gutted

( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 29 Jan 2018, 12:40, archived)

Good excuse to go home, unless they really want your pants on display to your coworkers

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 29 Jan 2018, 12:43, archived)

Maybe ease off on the old pies for a while?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 29 Jan 2018, 12:44, archived)

I'm just gonna buy reinforced trousers instead

( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 29 Jan 2018, 13:53, archived)

"... and then my penus just happened to fall out in front of all those children, officer"

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 29 Jan 2018, 13:56, archived)

Why would your boss give a shit if you quit?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 29 Jan 2018, 12:42, archived)

Oh, I never thought she would; I'm blatantly not needed around here.
That wouldn't stop her making bitchy remarks if she were so inclined, though.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 29 Jan 2018, 12:45, archived)

When do you start the new job then?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 29 Jan 2018, 12:56, archived)

5 March.
They're taking on people like the Titanic took on water at the moment so a bunch of us are going to have an 'induction' where we spend a week finding out where everything is and going to presentations and stuff.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 29 Jan 2018, 13:06, archived)

Sounds fucking shit

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 29 Jan 2018, 13:13, archived)

Lol
What, you mean you're not a fan of spending a whole morning looking at PowerPoint slides?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 29 Jan 2018, 13:17, archived)

Yukkk

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 29 Jan 2018, 13:37, archived)

Brief lapse in department output whilst a replacement is trained up, I'd guess

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 29 Jan 2018, 12:46, archived)

Ehh, they'll just outsource what I do now, like they already do 50% of the time anyway.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 29 Jan 2018, 12:53, archived)

Hopefully you'll be better appreciated where you're going

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 29 Jan 2018, 12:54, archived)

Yeah, fingers crossed on that one.
They've all been lovely people so far so I'm quietly optimistic.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 29 Jan 2018, 12:56, archived)

Robbed of the opportunity to fire his sorry ass

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 29 Jan 2018, 13:54, archived)

"You can't fire me, bizzatches! I quit!"

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 29 Jan 2018, 14:05, archived)

good
the place my job interview is is 30 seconds away from the bus stop, so it's a pretty much door-to-door service and the buses run every 7 minutes. also, i know the place has tea and coffee aplenty.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 29 Jan 2018, 14:54, archived)

Is it a coffee shop?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 29 Jan 2018, 15:01, archived)

no, they want skinny teenagers

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 29 Jan 2018, 15:05, archived)

pretty fucking shit tbh

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 29 Jan 2018, 15:39, archived)

Ballbags

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 29 Jan 2018, 7:43, archived)

Shitpipes

( H.B.Mupps, Mon 29 Jan 2018, 7:52, archived)

i have just witnessed my brother call a piece of cheese a fucking shitcunt
because it slid off his burger. what insanity have you seen today?
alt: weather
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 16:45, archived)

I've seen some pretty impressive vomiting today
proper Exorcist style
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 17:05, archived)

can't bear that, it'd make me hurl, too

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 17:16, archived)

cleaning up a mix of chewed-up boiled egg, bile-curdled milk and toddler saliva is not my ideal weekend

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 17:21, archived)

not

lol
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 17:21, archived)

I went to an international tattoo convention this aftenoon
but insanity-wise it was pretty tame. I did get to see a lass get her bum tattooed.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 17:08, archived)

i got mine tattooed years back in spain
biohazard sign
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 17:15, archived)

Noice.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 17:30, archived)

"Warning: Aids. Do Not Bum."

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 20:38, archived)

what sort of tattoo?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 17:17, archived)

Two regiments of Highland riflemen and the Drum Corps

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 17:28, archived)

big arse?
or small art?
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 17:35, archived)

The weather got good, so I jumped on the bike for a blast.
Within yards of my house 2 people tried to kill me. I hate living in town sometimes, once you're out in the country it's normally fine, but people in a mad dash to get to Aldi before they close on a Sunday afternoon are all pricks
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 28 Jan 2018, 17:43, archived)

Yes they are

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 17:53, archived)

I did manage to find the proper power band on the new bike.
It's scary fast after the little 175 I've been pootling about on all year
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 28 Jan 2018, 17:57, archived)

Wish I could get a driving license

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 18:22, archived)

What's wrong with you that you can't?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 28 Jan 2018, 18:30, archived)

Vertigo
Had a nasty turn during forklift training and my doctor declared me unfit to drive
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 18:51, archived)

I saw There Will Be Blood.
I think I'm going to watch another film this evening. Probably a daft Sunday night one.

Possibly Billy Liar or Guest House Paradiso (it's basically an English Delicatessen with added bollock kicking).
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 17:49, archived)

I only know Billy Liar as a Decemberists song
never realised it were a fillum
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 17:52, archived)

oooh you should watch billy liar the film

( vladimir, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 22:07, archived)

Guest house paradiso is suitably silly

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 17:54, archived)

I liked it

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 17:56, archived)

Your brother sounds totes ledge and also the Archbishop of Banterbury.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 20:16, archived)

He's a fucking tard
45 and still lives with my parents despite having 3 kids
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 20:19, archived)

:-/

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 20:32, archived)

I only just about to make dinner
you literally can't make this shit up.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 21:11, archived)

I regularly don't eat until 10-11pm. This doesn't seem unusual.
Timer says another 40 min until I put the rice on.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 22:12, archived)

MADNESS

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 22:13, archived)

I usually have some crackers or toast when i get home. Fuck cooking when I've just got in.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 22:22, archived)

This.
metro.co.uk/2018/01/28/desperate-parents-trying-cure-autism-giving-children-bleach-7266567/
VOTE SUNFRUIT DAN! SUNFRUIT DAN! THE MIRACLE-CURE PEDDLER OF REASON!
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 28 Jan 2018, 21:20, archived)

I'll tell you what, sunfruit dan looks like a right cunt

( vladimir, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 22:06, archived)

To give him credit, he's managed to beat his drug addiction and make a living for himself.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 29 Jan 2018, 0:00, archived)

plus, there's no need to "cure" awesome

( vladimir, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 22:08, archived)

Stuj doesn't believe in autism, he's got a thing against it , dunno why, nor do I care , makes him unlikable tho

( mongychops, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 22:32, archived)

Oh, I just assumed he enjoyed upsetting people on the links board

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 22:53, archived)

Sunday morning thread
How are you enjoying your day of rest?
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 5:02, archived)

I have just stopped resting in bed and am excited at what the rest of the day will bring

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 7:42, archived)

Just got up innit.
Should go to the supermarket and get a couple of beers in.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 9:49, archived)

I'm bored waiting for a new commission
Knitted 2 scarves since yesterday. Might scrub the shower.
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 10:21, archived)

They're showing There Will Be Blood later, might go and see that.
Gonna do a Korean beef thing for tea I reckon.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 10:29, archived)

Edit, scratch that, gonna do a mongolian one instead.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 10:42, archived)

That's a cracking film.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 11:46, archived)

There's a Paul Thomas Anderson season on at the moment.
I saw Magnolia last week.

Sadly I slept in a few weeks back and missed Boogie Nights and therefore an opportunity to see Heather Graham's bush on the big screen.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 12:24, archived)

I saw them at Infest 2016

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 12:29, archived)

Denied.
I haven't got round to seeing Magnolia yet.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 12:46, archived)

It's good bit I'd recently watched Rob Altman's Short Cuts which is similar and better.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 12:49, archived)

Might go for that instead then.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 12:49, archived)

my kid is sick
so we've made a blanket fort on the sofa
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 10:31, archived)

Did you remember to put up a " no girls " sign?

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 10:41, archived)

we're too busy doing stickers

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 11:01, archived)

I'm on smoko

( mongychops, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 16:14, archived)

lucky you

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 28 Jan 2018, 16:21, archived)

happy b3ta birthday to me, happy b3ta birthday to me, happy b3ta birthday to me-eee,
happy b3ta birthday to me
And...
happy belated b3ta birthday to Mr. Tea, happy belated b3ta birthday to Mr. Tea, happy belated b3ta birthday to Mr. Teee-eaa, happy belated b3ta birthday to Mr. Tea!
( vladimir, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 11:44, archived)

you could do a fry-up with the heat of those candles, m8

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 11:46, archived)

eggs bacon and sausages all round to celebrate this glorious day!

( vladimir, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 11:48, archived)

:(

( mongychops, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 11:54, archived)

^ and please bring this gentleman the brunch of his choice

( vladimir, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 11:55, archived)

Pint of Badger to celebrate

( mongychops, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 12:23, archived)

how many badgers do you get in a pint?
are they whole badgers, or do you mince them up?
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 15:25, archived)

Well according to wikipedia badgers are about 90cm long and weigh 12Kg
looking up badger density now
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 15:30, archived)

Nothing on specific badger density
but the average density for mammals is 1.85g/cm3. So you'd expect a 12kg badger to occupy ~6.486 liters. That works out to be 11 pints and 8.4 Fluid ounces (imperial).
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 15:35, archived)

worth knowing

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 15:39, archived)

fell down a clickhole
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fictional_badgers
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 15:44, archived)

my sister has a large ginger badger
make of that what you will.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 15:45, archived)

how many pints could you get out of it ?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 15:48, archived)

not sure, it's stuffed

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 15:49, archived)

probably fewer
stuffing is less dense
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 15:54, archived)

it's ugly, i know that much

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 15:57, archived)

where does one even get a stuffed badger ?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 16:00, archived)

off her husband
no idea where he got it from, but i'd hazard a guess that it involved some bloke down the pub
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 16:05, archived)

I need to drink in more interesting pubs

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 16:10, archived)

chance'd be a fine thing
all our more interesting pubs are shutting down and being replaced by spoons
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 16:15, archived)

I should probably go out then
drum up some business
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 16:17, archived)

sounds like a plan

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 16:38, archived)

ibsh

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 23:17, archived)

Or with the 12th pint you could use the extra 11.6 fluid ounces for a wind in the willows reunion.

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 15:47, archived)

that would probably involve ginger beer
or other nonsense
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 15:48, archived)

the canidian dry badger

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 15:51, archived)

sounds like a winter olympic sex-based sport

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 15:56, archived)

meh
It's like a Manitoba reach-around but on a snowboard
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 16:00, archived)

are they not worried about nipple chafing?

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 16:05, archived)

fox based nipple lubricant

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 16:10, archived)

that'll do it

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 16:17, archived)

its as
cunning as a fox that has been re-purposed into a colloidal liquid by a giant machine in an Ottawa industrial park.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 16:19, archived)

now that's cunning

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 16:53, archived)

52 baboons broke out at the Paris zoo lol
you did that to celebrate last night, amirite?
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 12:55, archived)

Alright vlad

( mongychops, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 11:54, archived)

alright mongy!

( vladimir, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 11:55, archived)

Happy candleday, vlad!
I missed mine a couple of weeks ago. :(
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 12:03, archived)

then we will do what we did last time this happened

( vladimir, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 12:04, archived)

hella sweet, dude-bro!

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 22:10, archived)

Well hello

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 27 Jan 2018, 12:07, archived)

alright windy

( vladimir, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 12:08, archived)

Fourteen, crikey.
You're on Rabid Rodent's radar now.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 12:12, archived)

on this site, we never make light of peadoughfillear

( vladimir, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 12:14, archived)

mate you are fucking VINTAGE

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 12:26, archived)

thanks Grrrmachine :D

( vladimir, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 18:25, archived)

alright vlad
happy b3taday. thanks for sticking around, you're the best one here
( manolith hooray for me, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 14:03, archived)

alright manolith!

( vladimir, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 18:25, archived)

you is older than a finely aged cheese

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 15:22, archived)

alright Smash Monkey

( vladimir, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 18:26, archived)

Happy b3ta birthday

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 15:25, archived)

stars directing his fate, willeni-u-u-um

( vladimir, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 18:27, archived)

da da da dah dah

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 20:08, archived)

Happy birthday Vlad,
I wish you were Glued Eel :(
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 15:36, archived)

thanks Undulating Tentacles of Love
boy oh boy do I ever wish I was Glued Eel too :'(
( vladimir, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 18:28, archived)

Fuck's sake.
I just tried to change my freewheel but I couldn't get the fucker off. I seem to have lost my long wheel brace and I don't have a bench to clamp the removal tool in so I can heave on the wheel.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 19:15, archived)

is this a sex thing?
happy candles vlad
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 19:43, archived)

So yeah, it's the evening, apparently.
The lack of sunlight gave it away a little (thanks for the handy hint, Smash!).

Which path will you be following toward wanton destruction tonight?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 26 Jan 2018, 20:22, archived)

third on the left, keep going past the bins, over the road at the crossing and turn right into wanton destruction just after the spa on the corner

( vladimir, Fri 26 Jan 2018, 20:26, archived)

Much obliged, and kudos for making it sound like a bargain basement club for teens with fake IDs.
I'd better stay about on the way.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 26 Jan 2018, 20:37, archived)

Don't be tempted to sleep in one of them, even if you've got away with it often before.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 26 Jan 2018, 20:40, archived)

Bin I mean, not a teenager.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 26 Jan 2018, 20:41, archived)

Good job you cleared up that potential for confusion.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 26 Jan 2018, 20:44, archived)

>YOU HAVE BEEN EATEN BY A GRUE

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 0:28, archived)

CANDLES !!!

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 8:29, archived)

oooh look

( vladimir, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 11:44, archived)

Food poisoning, probably.
Just cooked some lentils and they've turned into porridge.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 26 Jan 2018, 20:32, archived)

Alright, "neil"

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 26 Jan 2018, 20:32, archived)

Getting food poisoning from lentils is arguably quite an achievement.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 26 Jan 2018, 20:44, archived)

Probably just be the shits tomorrow morning, actually tastes alright

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 26 Jan 2018, 20:49, archived)

The lentils I mean, not shit.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 26 Jan 2018, 20:49, archived)

Alright, Austin Powers.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 26 Jan 2018, 20:50, archived)

I saw one or two mediocre films featuring this character nearly 20 years ago and don't remember enough about them to understand the reference

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 26 Jan 2018, 20:53, archived)

12 bottles of Peroni and some hash

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 26 Jan 2018, 21:11, archived)

I am following the path of cider and cheesy horror

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 26 Jan 2018, 21:23, archived)

Films are the way to go alright.
Which cheesy horror is it tonight?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 26 Jan 2018, 21:27, archived)

Tucker and Dale versus evil

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 26 Jan 2018, 21:35, archived)

I'd not heard of that one.
It sounds very silly.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 26 Jan 2018, 21:39, archived)

It is
But now I'm out of booze
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 26 Jan 2018, 21:45, archived)

village of e damned

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 26 Jan 2018, 21:36, archived)

rosemary's baby bel

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 26 Jan 2018, 21:38, archived)

nosfetaratu

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 26 Jan 2018, 21:38, archived)

halloueen

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 26 Jan 2018, 21:39, archived)

fromage hell

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 26 Jan 2018, 21:43, archived)

You're on fire tonight, you are.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 26 Jan 2018, 21:50, archived)

bored and trying to distract myself from essential yet tedious paperwork

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 26 Jan 2018, 21:56, archived)

drag me to halloumi

( vladimir, Fri 26 Jan 2018, 22:30, archived)

dolcelatte of the dead

( vladimir, Fri 26 Jan 2018, 22:31, archived)

don't labneh now

( vladimir, Fri 26 Jan 2018, 22:33, archived)

the cabinet of doctor camemberti

( vladimir, Fri 26 Jan 2018, 22:36, archived)

Cor, look at all those candle's

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 27 Jan 2018, 0:47, archived)

bourbon and salami
not in the same glass, obvs
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 26 Jan 2018, 22:02, archived)

gl lol
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 26 Jan 2018, 22:14, archived)

rude

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 26 Jan 2018, 22:40, archived)