» Helicopter Parents

My mother the control freak
My mother tries to manage everybody's life that she comes into contact with. My fathers, my sister's, mine, her friends', my friends', the window cleaner, the shop assistant in Sainsburys.... you get the idea.

When I was 17 I had no idea what I wanted to study at university. Truth be told, I just wanted to put off getting a job for 3 years. I was thinking of Geography, because I found it easy, and it was the least boring of the things I did at school. I decided straight away that Oxford/Cambridge weren't for me. I still went to the open days to satisfy my mother and my school, but snuck off and went shopping instead. Apparently, Geography is a worthless subject, Geography graduates never get jobs and I'd end up penniless living in a gutter (in the words of my mother).

In the end all my teachers were on my side but my mother insisted on talking to all of them and trying to get them to persuade me not to do Geography and to do something prestigious like Economics or Classics (I studied both for A level but struggled with them and knew I'd never be able to do them at degree level). My teachers just accepted that my mother was a bit unhinged, I think they were used to parents like that - I went to private school. We never really settled the disagreement but ultimately, I filled in the form for myself, went to the open days myself, and studied for the exams myself. I got 3 As and went to the (more modern but still good) university I wanted and studied Geography. I graduated a couple of months ago and currently have a job in an area that I am interested in, that I got for myself despite my mother not thinking it is worthwhile (doesn't pay enough). I'm unfortunately still living with my parents, but am hoping to move out soon, not to live in the gutter.

My mother's helicopter parenting has been something I have rebelled against for many years, with the result that it has made me much more independent and determined to succeed once I've fought to be able to do the things I want. When her nagging and criticising of my life gets too much, I politely remind her that I could be shooting up heroin in a squat somewhere and robbing old ladies to pay for my next fix.

I found out last year that sixth formers can now tick a box on the UCAS form which allows their parents to handle the entire application process for them. Unbelievable... what next? Parents going to lectures for their children and sitting the exams? A degree is something you have to be very committed to and I don't believe that anybody should be forced into studying something they're not happy with.
(Sun 13th Sep 2009, 18:45, More)

» Cringe!

The veggie stand
This was totally out of character for me, I am usually more politically correct than this!

Summer of 2007, I went to Leeds festival with a few friends. Myself and 2 friends were watching bands in the NME/Radio 1 tent while another friend was watching a different band elsewhere. He wanted to meet up with the rest of us so my friend was trying to explain to him in a text exactly where to find us, as it's difficult in the dense crowds.

He said "I've told him we're just in front of the veggie stand"

I turned around and saw, behind us, the raised platform where disabled people can get a better view of the bands playing, at the back of the tent. Without really thinking about it,

"That's not a very nice thing to say about the disabled" I responded.

"I meant the vegetarian food stall outside the tent!" my friend clarified.

I have never had such a non-PC thought in my life. I genuinely thought he was referring the disabled platform as the 'veggie stand'. My friends haven't let me forget it.
(Mon 1st Dec 2008, 23:58, More)

» Tightwads

Student housemates
I'm a student and I lived with some proper cheapskates last year, they'd do anything they could to avoid buying more bread or toilet paper. One of them went to extreme lengths in his cheapskateness.

One morning I was in the kitchen fixing myself some cereal for breakfast when Cheapskate Boy was about to go to a lecture. He decided he wanted to take some water with him to drink during the day but was unable to find a water bottle lying around. Rather than just paying 40p to buy a bottle of water from the Student Union shop to re-use, he decided to use an empty Sainsburys vegetable oil bottle that was sitting waiting to be rinsed and recycled.

As you'll probably know, oil doesn't easily come out of the bottle, and oil bottles don't exactly seal well. He rinsed the bottle, filled it with water, and took it to campus. He then claimed that it hadn't tasted too bad although he did admit it had opened in his bag and spilled a watery oily mess.

I encountered another housemate attempting to make a sandwich one morning from 2 very green crumpets because he was too much of a cheapskate/selfish git to go across the road and buy some bread.

Luckily for my sanity, I no longer live with these weirdos.
(Fri 24th Oct 2008, 14:21, More)

» Council Cunts

Croydon Council (again)
Nearly 10 years ago now, my mum's car got towed away because someone put a leaflet over the parking permit. After my parents had reported the car stolen, the police suggested phoning the council car pound, who confirmed that they had it. When they looked under the leaflet on the windscreen, they noticed that they had in fact overlooked the valid parking permit there. They still refused to accept that their parking warden was wrong and my mum had to pay for a taxi to the car pound to pick it up. I mean really, how much intelligence do you need to look underneath a leaflet on the windscreen?

The parking rules are enforced from 7am to midnight 7 days a week here. I don't personally care, since I am a pedestrian and also sometimes a cyclist, but the local residents feel very strongly about it.
(Thu 2nd Aug 2007, 0:37, More)

» Council Cunts

Croydon Council efficiency
Last year I was in the position of having to sort out my student loan, which involved filling in a load of ridiculously long and complicated forms. I couldn't use the ones my school were giving out, as they were supplied by a different Council, so I had to trek to the Council offices and get my own form. It turns out the only thing that is different is the address on the envelope they give you separate to the form.

My mother asked me, as I was going, if I could ask for a holder for her parking permit, as she had got a new car but could not move the windscreen permit holder across to the new car. I arrived at the Council offices reception to find a large room full of metal seats, all screwed down, and a complex system whereby a visitor was required to take a paper ticket with a number on for each service that was required. When the number on the ticket came up on screen, the visitor was directed to a desk to talk to a person. I was given a ticket for education, I waited for around half an hour, my number came up. I spoke to a woman who gave me a form.

I went back to the original 'welcome' desk and got a second ticket, this time for 'parking'. I waited for around another half hour, before being directed to the 'parking' desk, which happened to be the same woman I'd seen before about 'education'. I asked her for a parking permit holder and she scraped around in some very untidy drawers and under piles of forms and finally advised me to go to the Post Office and ask, as she had run out.

Great service from the Council. Incidentally, there is never a queue if you want to talk about something nice and middle class, like Planning or Environment, but the queue for the homeless is estimated at 2 hours, while the workers for Planning and Environment have a cup of coffee and a chat and enjoy doing fuck all.
(Fri 27th Jul 2007, 1:13, More)