Profile for Chunk Mcfunk:
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- a member for 21 years, 0 months and 11 days
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» Petty Sabotage
and another!
get some guys butter tub,
melt the butter and take a shit in it. (this needs to be cheap supermarket shit so he wont notice!
put back in fridge to set again.
and watch over the next few weeks as he puts butter on his toast and then wonders after a while because his butter knife has just struck brown gold!!
not one of mine,, but needed to be said!
(Thu 5th May 2005, 14:24, More)
and another!
get some guys butter tub,
melt the butter and take a shit in it. (this needs to be cheap supermarket shit so he wont notice!
put back in fridge to set again.
and watch over the next few weeks as he puts butter on his toast and then wonders after a while because his butter knife has just struck brown gold!!
not one of mine,, but needed to be said!
(Thu 5th May 2005, 14:24, More)
» Petty Sabotage
PIGEONS!! gods greatest revenge tool of justice!
Pigeons... god's greatest revenge tool..
right...
pigeons are useless?? wrong...
did you know that if you catch a few (say five)
Its not that hard, trust me!!
* Then break into some arsholes house who you know is on holiday for a fortnight.
* let the pigeons loose in any room but make sure you close all doors and windows. then...
* leave a small bowl of bread and water mixed to feed them.
then fuck off and leave them..
Its amazing how much pigeons actually shit!! especially when confined in a small space.. Whats also good is the fact they will choose a small area to perch and then stay there. just shitting.. in one place. so soon you see large piles of pigeon shit...
plus added bonus.. when we did this, one of the pigeons freaked out and flew into the window knocking itself out. it must have broke its wing or something cos it died shortly afterwards. a nice rotting pigeon with broken wing, covered in shit from its brothers and sisters..
oh and one more thing... PIGEON SHIT STINKS!! again, trust me...
takes some work but it worth it. I have photos of the room cos we just HAD to check how bad it was before the shit came back from holiday. I dont think i need to tell you what his reaction was, but it did involve the police.. he he he..
(Thu 5th May 2005, 14:22, More)
PIGEONS!! gods greatest revenge tool of justice!
Pigeons... god's greatest revenge tool..
right...
pigeons are useless?? wrong...
did you know that if you catch a few (say five)
Its not that hard, trust me!!
* Then break into some arsholes house who you know is on holiday for a fortnight.
* let the pigeons loose in any room but make sure you close all doors and windows. then...
* leave a small bowl of bread and water mixed to feed them.
then fuck off and leave them..
Its amazing how much pigeons actually shit!! especially when confined in a small space.. Whats also good is the fact they will choose a small area to perch and then stay there. just shitting.. in one place. so soon you see large piles of pigeon shit...
plus added bonus.. when we did this, one of the pigeons freaked out and flew into the window knocking itself out. it must have broke its wing or something cos it died shortly afterwards. a nice rotting pigeon with broken wing, covered in shit from its brothers and sisters..
oh and one more thing... PIGEON SHIT STINKS!! again, trust me...
takes some work but it worth it. I have photos of the room cos we just HAD to check how bad it was before the shit came back from holiday. I dont think i need to tell you what his reaction was, but it did involve the police.. he he he..
(Thu 5th May 2005, 14:22, More)
» Going Too Far
in not a racist.... honest!!
We had planned to go out last friday for drinks as usual. theres a black guy in our office whom we used to invite but he always said no. So this time we didnt invite him. Of course he now jokingly says to me "I bet you're not inviting me cos im black?" I thought I'd be funny so i said "no, its not just cos ur black, its also cos ur an arsehole who no one likes and youd look like a cunt out with us when we're all dressed in white hoods walking about with burning crosses" I waited anxiously for him to laugh knowing id just probably said the worst thing ever in the office in front of everyone. luckily he laughed... well i think it was a laugh? jesus im dark sometimes. he still never came out with us though..
(Mon 13th Nov 2006, 13:56, More)
in not a racist.... honest!!
We had planned to go out last friday for drinks as usual. theres a black guy in our office whom we used to invite but he always said no. So this time we didnt invite him. Of course he now jokingly says to me "I bet you're not inviting me cos im black?" I thought I'd be funny so i said "no, its not just cos ur black, its also cos ur an arsehole who no one likes and youd look like a cunt out with us when we're all dressed in white hoods walking about with burning crosses" I waited anxiously for him to laugh knowing id just probably said the worst thing ever in the office in front of everyone. luckily he laughed... well i think it was a laugh? jesus im dark sometimes. he still never came out with us though..
(Mon 13th Nov 2006, 13:56, More)
» Your Revenge Stories
this is bad.... sneeky poo....!!!
similiar to the other butter story,
got a pot of butter, melted the contents.
took a shit in the tub, a really nice sticky one, perfectly formed and poured the contents back.. once set, you wouldnt know, TRUST ME!
it was a good couple of weeks before he got to a strange brown smear near the bottom of the tub... mmm and people say marmite tastes like shit!
from then on we called this joke "sneeky poo" it was great fun.... i had it done to me but the smell gave it away.
hmmm, we were a bit sick really wasnt we?
(Fri 14th May 2004, 12:45, More)
this is bad.... sneeky poo....!!!
similiar to the other butter story,
got a pot of butter, melted the contents.
took a shit in the tub, a really nice sticky one, perfectly formed and poured the contents back.. once set, you wouldnt know, TRUST ME!
it was a good couple of weeks before he got to a strange brown smear near the bottom of the tub... mmm and people say marmite tastes like shit!
from then on we called this joke "sneeky poo" it was great fun.... i had it done to me but the smell gave it away.
hmmm, we were a bit sick really wasnt we?
(Fri 14th May 2004, 12:45, More)
» Have you ever been rude to a celebrity?
I met coronation street's 'spider' in a nightclub in Stafford
it was one of those shitty PA jobs where they prance about on stage and sign autographs, they passed a mike round and asked if anyone had a question for him, after a dare by my mates, I calmly asked for the mike, looked him in the eyes, and simply asked "why are you such a c**t?"
the bouncers quickly took the mike off me and i was ejected from the venue.. it was bloody worth it.. stupid prick..
(Thu 15th Apr 2004, 9:04, More)
I met coronation street's 'spider' in a nightclub in Stafford
it was one of those shitty PA jobs where they prance about on stage and sign autographs, they passed a mike round and asked if anyone had a question for him, after a dare by my mates, I calmly asked for the mike, looked him in the eyes, and simply asked "why are you such a c**t?"
the bouncers quickly took the mike off me and i was ejected from the venue.. it was bloody worth it.. stupid prick..
(Thu 15th Apr 2004, 9:04, More)