» Best Comebacks

A particularly nasty customer
at a bar I work at sometimes didn't quite understand the idea of me serving the people at the bar in the order they arrive. Making some kind of sarcastic comment along the lines of he's a local, I should serve him etc etc I turned round and delivered the comeback:

"Mark, I have less time for you than I do for syphilis."

That shut the wanker up.
(Thu 29th Apr 2004, 14:36, More)

» Have you ever started a fire?

I was at a youth group thingy
I was lighting some candles, and then decided to do the flick a match to light it trick. It went whistling through the air, straight into one of the leader's hair. Fzzzt! One lack of hair on the right hand side of her head. Oops!
(Tue 2nd Mar 2004, 17:57, More)

» Scars with history

Suicide
It looks like I tried to commit suicide due to a scar right over my right wrist, going the 'correct' way for lots of bleeding (down the arm - or so I'm told).

What actually happened was that I was climbing a route on the Llanberis slate quarries (Pull My Daisy, for those who know it) and took a rather large (40ft) fall from near the top. I caught my wrist on a small protrusion of rock which ripped a lovely parellel length of skin off.
(Sat 5th Feb 2005, 13:53, More)

» Claims to Fame

I can beat...
bloodyHassocks and his meeting Chris Bonington tale. I've climbed with Chris Bonington. Twice. Once in the Avon Gorge, and once in Cheddar Gorge.

I also climb fairly often with Stephen Venables (first oxygenless ascent of Everest by silly new route etc etc)

I've talked to Paul from S-Club in the Fighting Cocks, St. Albans.

Have had dinner with two nobel prize winners (Tim Hunt and Paul Nurse).

I've met loads of famous sciency type people through my Dad.

Often walk past Casualty cast members (It's filmed here in Brizzle).

I could go on... I'm so good.
(Thu 24th Feb 2005, 19:04, More)