More adventures in stop motion.
I wish i had done this in time for suicide week.

#1#2

Woo! Second FP! in only 2/3 of a year!
Now i really need to find some proper webspace for posting.
(Wed 11th Feb 2004, 3:19, More)

I had this in my head all day.
Kiss Badgers


(Wed 1st Oct 2003, 21:21, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

Just plain terrible
Q: What did the deaf, blind, mute, quadraplegic kid get for christmas?
A: Cancer

Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?
A: She's a woman.

Q: How do you start a stampede in Mexico?
A: Roll a nickel down the street.
Q: How do you find the richest man in Mexico?
A: Find the guy who caught the nickel.

Ok. So a guy goes to Paris and his friends, who are locals, tell him that he has to go see this french whore who can give the greatest blowjob ever while singing the french national anthem.
So the guy goes to the hooker and she takes him inside, turns off the lights, and gives an amazing blowjob while singing the french national anthem.
When it's over, he asks her how she does it. She says it's a trade secret. He goes back again, and the same routine is followed. Lights go off, blow job begins, and it's followed by singing.
She still refuses to tell him, so he goes back one more time, and midway through the national anthem, he flicks on the lights and the whore runs out of the room screaming. All that is left is a glass eye on the table.

A man takes his grandson on a tour of his hometown. First they come to a cottage. The grandfather explains that he helped build that cottage with his own two hands. "But they don't call you a cottage builder in this town for that," the grandfather says.
Next, they come to a bridge, and the grandfather tells his grandson that he spent his entire junior year in high school helping to build that bridge. "But they don't call you a bridge builder in this town for that," the grandfather says.
A few minutes later, evidently in nostalgic thought, the grandfather almost thinks outloud, "But if you fuck a goat just one time..."

I'll just stop here.

Also, this almost made me wet myself. It's "The Aristocrats"!
(Thu 9th Sep 2004, 20:42, More)

» Dad Jokes

With a concerned look on his face
he says "oh let me help. you're working far too hard." and then procedes to pick up a small trinket that you happen to be carrying, and "tows" it into the house.
(Wed 10th Dec 2003, 3:19, More)

» Have you ever been dumped in a spectacular way?

had my imaginary partner
break up with me mid fwapping
(Fri 18th Jun 2004, 3:12, More)

» Inventions You're Too Lazy To Make

two words
rocket shoes

oh yeah, and electric coils in your bathtub that would keep the water warm by convection.
if they were under the linolium or whatever it is, then it wouldn't burn you and it would just heat the water.
kinda solves the problem of always adding more hot water and shit.
(Thu 8th Apr 2004, 1:00, More)

» Useless Information

Well let me tell you about flatworms
They sweat their pee and vomit their poo.

Also with the left hand, the longest word you can type is:
Stewardesses

Also, the christing ceremony apparently involved about 6 pounds of canabis mixed with butter that Christ bathed in. THC is 30% soluable in butter, and the whole thing can be absorbed through the skin (i think). Therefore, Christ was fucked up on 2 pounds of weed to officially become "The Christ".

And for my final bit of trivia: Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing. And Bing Crosby beat his children.
(Fri 18th Mar 2005, 10:39, More)