» Teenage Crushes - Part Two

Drew Barrymore
since I saw E.T. when it first came out on video years ago. I'm a little bit younger than her and my wife know I will leave everything behind for Drew even now, after Tom Green gave her some one-ball curse (probly), and Justin Long hit that.

There was another girl, i was not a teen, but she was 18(I was 23). I went to the mall with my friend and saw her sitting in Applebee's, a restaurant if you are unaware. She was eating with her friends and cut her eyes at me. I ended up walking by the window at least 6 times to look at her, and every time I got the same look from her. When she left with her friends, I was gonna go into action! But I froze, I didn't know what to say. My friend, a 300 lb black guy called donut, jumped into action and nearly made 3 little white girls run in fear. He talked to her and got her number for me. Later, I worked up the courage to talk to her myself and we made plans to go out. Five years later, we're married with 2 kids and I'm still embarassed that I was too scared to talk to her. Tis a happy ending though.
(Mon 9th Nov 2009, 19:01, More)

» Helicopter Parents

My Mom
Wasn't too bad, but I remember one incident when I was about ten. My dad is retired navy and always keeps a gun near the front door. One day in early July I was playing with said gun, taking the bullets out, putting them back in. My mom comes inside and finds me. "What are you doing?!"
"Don't worry mom I'm not pointing it at myself"

BANG!

My mom fell down. I jumped up and ran outside as fast as I could, my heart was pounding. I couldn't believe it. I ran to the end of the drive and just looked up towards the sky.
4th of july fireworks! I was missing them!
However, it took me a while to understand why my parents beat the holy hell out of me.
(Sat 12th Sep 2009, 12:54, More)

» Dad Jokes

A Funny Old Man
My dad has weird jokes, like his asking me and my sister EVERY day, "Who's your daddy?"
Then he always sings, badly, "I love little baby ducks, sweaty men in trucks"
And he calls Kentucky Fried Chicked
"Kentucky Fried Rat"
he's got some other weird ones too...
(Wed 10th Dec 2003, 18:24, More)

» Family Feuds

I am really close
To cutting all ties with my family. The assholes only wear bow-ties, they look ridiculous.
(Sun 15th Nov 2009, 20:07, More)

» IT Support

Wheezing Jesus
I'm not one to complain too much, just 3 or 4 times a day. But when there's over a hundred pages of QOTW suggestions, why do we get another week of pearoasts? Anyways, so I'm installing linux on my ps3 cause I think I'm a 7338 HAX0R or whatever the fuck it is, and I can't do it right I'm a tard. There's no IT for that so I'm fucked. Cheers
(Sat 26th Sep 2009, 5:34, More)