Profile for The Earl of Cockwood:
From Germany but still an okay chap.
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Best answers to questions:
- a member for 6 years, 2 months and 19 days
- has posted 316 messages on the main board
- (of which 2 have appeared on the front page)
- has posted 22 messages on the talk board
- has posted 27 messages on the links board
- (including 4 links)
- has posted 4 stories and 1 replies on question of the week
- They liked 30 pictures, 16 links, 0 talk posts, and 3 qotw answers.
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From Germany but still an okay chap.
Here are some of my pictures:
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
» Airport Stories
What's going on
This happened a couple of years ago, when I went to pick up a friend at Dusseldorf International. It was pretty late at night and the airport was almost empty already. I was waiting for my friend outside the gate, when I noticed there were a couple of suspicious looking guys, all with big black shoulder strap bags, loitering in the corners of the waiting hall. They all stood several yards apart from each other, which was weird because they all seemed to know each other, as from time to time one would casually walk over to one of the others, mumble a couple of words and walk back. Anyway, the next plane arrived and I rushed towards the doors to check if I could spot my friend. Then all of a sudden I was surrounded by maybe twenty guys, all in their twenties, all tanned, all wearing the same suits and ties and black overnight bags. At this moment all hell broke loose. The suspicious looking guys from the waiting area whipped out cameras from their big black bags and frantically started taking photos of us, it was flashlights everywhere. I was totally confused and asked two of the suit guys in my crowd if they had any idea what was going on here. They gave me broad grins and nodded: "Yess! Ve arre Real Madrid!"
(Fri 3rd Mar 2006, 12:15, More)
What's going on
This happened a couple of years ago, when I went to pick up a friend at Dusseldorf International. It was pretty late at night and the airport was almost empty already. I was waiting for my friend outside the gate, when I noticed there were a couple of suspicious looking guys, all with big black shoulder strap bags, loitering in the corners of the waiting hall. They all stood several yards apart from each other, which was weird because they all seemed to know each other, as from time to time one would casually walk over to one of the others, mumble a couple of words and walk back. Anyway, the next plane arrived and I rushed towards the doors to check if I could spot my friend. Then all of a sudden I was surrounded by maybe twenty guys, all in their twenties, all tanned, all wearing the same suits and ties and black overnight bags. At this moment all hell broke loose. The suspicious looking guys from the waiting area whipped out cameras from their big black bags and frantically started taking photos of us, it was flashlights everywhere. I was totally confused and asked two of the suit guys in my crowd if they had any idea what was going on here. They gave me broad grins and nodded: "Yess! Ve arre Real Madrid!"
(Fri 3rd Mar 2006, 12:15, More)
» World's Most Hated Food
Dill.
I never liked dill. Ok, so far that's nothing special. But a couple of years ago the dill's wrath really turned on me.
I was planning a holiday in France and needed cash. Only job I could find was in a cucumber factory - I had to put a handful of dill in every jar that came along on the conveyor belt. Thousands of jars an hour. The smell was disgusting. On the last day before my holidays I just couldn't stand it anymore, the stink made me sick. So I thought "fuck the jars, I gotta get out of here", went outside, sat down and started puking.
What I didn't know was that the pile of pallets I was sitting on was exactly the place where the fresh jars were delivered to.
I didn't hear the fork lift coming because I was busy puking.
The driver couldn't see me because he had two thousand jars right in front of his face. Which he unloaded straight onto my lap.
If he hadn't heard me screaming I'd be dead now.
Needless to say the holidays had to be cancelled. Fucking dill, eh? Today I can still identify the tiniest amount of the devilish ingredient in any dish, rendering it literally inedible for me.
(Mon 12th Jul 2004, 19:08, More)
Dill.
I never liked dill. Ok, so far that's nothing special. But a couple of years ago the dill's wrath really turned on me.
I was planning a holiday in France and needed cash. Only job I could find was in a cucumber factory - I had to put a handful of dill in every jar that came along on the conveyor belt. Thousands of jars an hour. The smell was disgusting. On the last day before my holidays I just couldn't stand it anymore, the stink made me sick. So I thought "fuck the jars, I gotta get out of here", went outside, sat down and started puking.
What I didn't know was that the pile of pallets I was sitting on was exactly the place where the fresh jars were delivered to.
I didn't hear the fork lift coming because I was busy puking.
The driver couldn't see me because he had two thousand jars right in front of his face. Which he unloaded straight onto my lap.
If he hadn't heard me screaming I'd be dead now.
Needless to say the holidays had to be cancelled. Fucking dill, eh? Today I can still identify the tiniest amount of the devilish ingredient in any dish, rendering it literally inedible for me.
(Mon 12th Jul 2004, 19:08, More)
» Scary Neighbours
Scary but dead
My ex-neighbour upstairs once threw a set of car tyres out of his kitchen window into our garden. He had forgotten to open the window first though. He's dead now. Jumped from the scaffolding of our house. Probably looking for his tyres.
(Fri 26th Aug 2005, 0:04, More)
Scary but dead
My ex-neighbour upstairs once threw a set of car tyres out of his kitchen window into our garden. He had forgotten to open the window first though. He's dead now. Jumped from the scaffolding of our house. Probably looking for his tyres.
(Fri 26th Aug 2005, 0:04, More)
» Local Nutters
pub schizo
there's this guy who sometimes sits at the bar of my local pub. he's schizophrenic. whenever he's there he's just sitting there all by himself having discussions with his alter ego. now that's not so unusual itself, i've met more people like that. what makes him more interesting is that he switches between his two personalities frequently. often he'd be aggressive and shouting swear words for about fifteen minutes until all of a sudden he's pulling a friendly face, mumbling something to himself and then bursts out into the most charming laughter for what seems like ages. in that state he's really shaking with laughter, tears running down his happy face and anybody witnessing this cannot help but laugh along with him. after a couple of minutes it's all over and he goes back to being aggressive and swearing again. never attacked or even touched anybody ever though.
(Thu 16th Sep 2004, 21:29, More)
pub schizo
there's this guy who sometimes sits at the bar of my local pub. he's schizophrenic. whenever he's there he's just sitting there all by himself having discussions with his alter ego. now that's not so unusual itself, i've met more people like that. what makes him more interesting is that he switches between his two personalities frequently. often he'd be aggressive and shouting swear words for about fifteen minutes until all of a sudden he's pulling a friendly face, mumbling something to himself and then bursts out into the most charming laughter for what seems like ages. in that state he's really shaking with laughter, tears running down his happy face and anybody witnessing this cannot help but laugh along with him. after a couple of minutes it's all over and he goes back to being aggressive and swearing again. never attacked or even touched anybody ever though.
(Thu 16th Sep 2004, 21:29, More)