» Darwin Awards

Pepper spray
Just after xmas my friend was taking his xmas cards down, and behind one of the cards he found a tin of pepper spray (no idea where it came from)- The kind the German police use to subdue hooligans. So my mate picks it up and goes "watch this" and proceeded to spray himself in the face. He couldn't open his eyes, breath properly and copious amount of snot flowed from his nose. Some went in his girlfriends mouth who was sitting next to him, she threw up over his leg.

This is how he remained for the next five hours, covered in sick and snot and unable to see. The fun to be had when inebriated.
(Fri 13th Feb 2009, 11:41, More)

» Procrastination

i hate washing up.
I used to live next door to a second had shop, that sold Plates for 5p each. So instead of washing dishes i'd just throw them in the bin and go next door and buy a new plate. On the few occasions there were no plates, just tea saucers i'd eat my meals in very small portion.
(Mon 17th Nov 2008, 23:18, More)

» Procrastination

My brother
I can remember once the road to our local shop was blocked for cars to go down, so instead of walking 200 yards to the shop, he drove 4 miles on a detour to get to the shop.
(Mon 17th Nov 2008, 23:23, More)

» Tightwads

tight wad
So my flatmate, he fell out with his girlfriend and needed somebody to move in. So when i moved in the house was like a skip, so i've spent £10,000 doing the place up. Leather sofa, huge tv, etc. And what has he done? Found a fridge on the side of the road we keep beer in.

Enter his bedroom and his bed my mate gave him his tv, his video he found in the bins, his computer my mate gave him, his dvd i gsve him, his clothes his mother bought him, His car his mother bought him. The last thing anyone can remember him buying was an xbox
(original Xbox)

and he buys supermarket own label food, drinks supermarket own label beer.
(Mon 27th Oct 2008, 16:38, More)