» Foot in Mouth Syndrome

Look - no hands!
A few years ago at work I went to meet some new clients. There were about 5 people in the room I hadn't met so I went round the table shaking hands with them. I went to shake one guys hand and too late I realised that he didn't actually have one - he had a sort of stump/proto-hand affair just off his elbow.

So I shook that instead.

Both of us knew it was weird. I certainly don't think I heard a word anyone said for the rest of them meeting - I just kept thinking "WHY DID YOU SHAKE THE STUMP!!!??? WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST WAVE OR SOMETHING??".

In retrospect though I think it was actually right for me to treat him the same as everyone else. But it still felt weird....
(Thu 22nd Apr 2004, 13:50, More)

» Never Meet Your Heroes

The Hand Of Glover
Do you remember Brian Glover off Kes, Alien 3, Jabberwocky, The Fishing Party etc.? Big burly Yorkshireman ex-wrestler turned thespian - now sadly passed away.

When I was a kid I went to see him perform in The Canterbury Tales at The Crucible thatre in Sheffield. Afterwards he was hanging around still and meeting the audience. I was a big fan and went to shake his hand, which I did - but it was the most delicate, foppish and limp sweaty handshake I can recall. And that's all I'll remember of Brian Glover now. Booo!

Oh yeah, and Des Lynam killed my dad.
(Sun 28th May 2006, 19:09, More)