» It's not me, it's the drugs talking

Not me, but a "friend"
Someone I know, who has succumbed to the evil ways of the substances that alter the mind. They moved out of their house and into a flat with some others, among many other drug related stories, this shines out for sheer bizarreness.

Some friends went round to see said person. On arrival; they found him standing - butt naked - in the kitchen. His excuse? He was a wizard.
(Thu 15th Dec 2005, 19:54, More)

» Unexpected Nudity

Short and to the point
One day while riding the tube, I got a rather unexpected and unwelcome chubby. I tried to make things more comfortable down their by rearranging everything and all was well. I went back to staring into space, slightly aware that the passenger opposite me was giving me a nasty look. I thought nothing of it, or maybe that he'd seen me rearrange. After about 15 minutes; my girlfriend let out a small scream and said 'What the Hell! You've got your cock out!!'. Unknown to me, in my rearranging I'd exposed myself almost entirely. I tried to hide it but the damage was done, I was half expecting to be on the evening news but no such luck
(Sat 30th May 2009, 0:52, More)

» Pure Ignorance

Pub meals & idiots (long)
A few years ago, my family went to eat at the pub. I couldn't decide what to eat and sent my mum off to the specials board. She shouted over "They've got gammon", my reply: "No thanks, I'm not one for fish"

Another, sorry. At the weekend I had a customer come to my till. I asked him to enter his PIN when he paid for his card, and three times he got it wrong. I told him that this meant he would have to call his bank to get it unblocked. He was fuming, he complained to me that our system must be broken, because he'd entered the right number three times: "the one it's got on the screen, the price I need to pay"
(Mon 10th Jan 2005, 21:18, More)

» Shoddy Presents

I was once given a bra by an elderly relative
...I'm male, 'nuff said.
(Fri 24th Sep 2004, 22:07, More)

» My Worst Vomit

Sorry for another
When I was in Year 5 or 6 at primary school one of my friends suddenly threw up...but it wasn't normal. There was little of the disgusting paste and stomach lining, the majority of it was made up with a WHOLE baked potato, which slid menacingly across the table toward another friend and (thankfully) stopped just at the edge instead of plummeting into his lap.

Being 10, we loved it...barfing AND an extra break-time while they cleared up the mess, and possibly heated the potato with some grated cheese and beans.
(Sat 21st Aug 2004, 22:13, More)