» Well, that taught 'em

Crap housemate
A few months ago, my worthless, piece-of-crap housemate moved out. He did not give me back the keys and was using them at lunchtime to come in and help himself to the contents of my refrigerator. He was also stealing my newspaper in the morning when he drove by on his way to the gym, whilst I was still snug and cozy in bed. He broke a window moving out and did not even clean up the glass, much less pay for it and he still owes me money on the back rent and utilities. The first thing I did was pay the paperboy $20 to place 3 mousetraps side by side in my paper box on top of the newspaper. The traps were sprung and broken up under the paper box when I got home from work that evening. My initial plan was to insert some fake news pages (I work at the newspaper) accusing him of all sorts of disgusting things, but the mouse traps were much better seeing as how they are made to control vermin. The next thing I did was run house current to the doorknob and powered it up before I left for work in the morning. Upon returning home, there was skin adhered to the knob and the key was welded into the lock. One way or another, I was determined to get the key back from that bastard. And I did. A Pyrrhic victory is still a victory and he hasn’t bothered me since. Now for an evil plan to get my money out of him.
(Fri 27th Apr 2007, 18:32, More)