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Profile for urgle-splurgle:
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cock

Recent front page messages:


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Best answers to questions:

» Putting the Fun in Funeral

crying
I only ever cried at one funeral, when I lost my baby daughter. Nothing amusing to say.
(Thu 11th May 2006, 10:40, More)

» Mugged

mugged
annually by the TV licensing people. cunts
(Thu 15th Jun 2006, 15:15, More)

» Missing body parts

missing bits
I was circumcised last year at the age of 40 years. Note to anyone still "knobbus intacta" and thinking of being de-balaclava'd: it really fucking hurts and is best done when you are an infant. My poor old chap look like a scene from some b-movie gore-fest. Worse still was copping a stiffy whist the stiches were still in. VERY FUCKING PAINFUL.

also no wanking for 6 weeks.
(Mon 5th Jun 2006, 14:47, More)

» My Biggest Disappointment

dissapointment
Adult life. I would define it as the moment you leave the comfort of the parental home and set out for the adventure that the rest of your life is sure to become. In reality, you get a mortgage, get stuck in a dreary job, grow old and wonder why you haven't done any of the things you wanted to do with your life. On the plus side I am now able to afford all the toys that I couldn't have as a kid, and wanking is so much easier with internet porn than with the jazz-mags of old:-)
(Thu 26th Jun 2008, 14:51, More)

» Useless advice

My mother-in-law
When we moved house, my mother-in-law told me the best way to help our cats to find their way home in unfamiliar surroundings, is to put butter on their paws. Eh??? Apparently they can smell the buttery scent of the trail they have left behind. I say utter bollocks.
(Thu 19th Oct 2006, 11:56, More)
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