b3ta.com user Greasy Chip Butty
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» Breakin' The Law

Walking home from the pub
Happily drunk with my girlfriend about 100 yards to the house we started to discuss what we would have on the TV when we got in.

To my mind the only logical way this could be solved would be in a classic race home and first one there gets to choose. What I didn't expect was my girlfriend to steal a march on me and get away into a sprint first. Just before she got away I managed to grab hold of her arm and and in the ensuing tussle we both ended up on the floor trying to get away from each other. Neither of us noticed the plod car that pulled up at the exact moment and the female police officer clearly assuming I was battering my girlfriend asking her if 'Everything is alright?'. 'Yes' she says, 'first one home gets to choose the telly'. Oh says plod, thats ok then and drives off.
(Thu 8th Jan 2004, 13:14, More)

» Pet Names

I went to a Nursery School
that had a 50% White / 50% Pakistani-Indian make up. When we got a new Rabbit, no one could decide on a name that everyone liked, so there was a compromise to the name that everyone liked. Therefore our Rabbits name was 'Abdul Rodney'.

100% fact.
(Thu 26th Feb 2004, 12:48, More)

» Best Comebacks

Not one that I have given but heard
On a night out in Windsor you see a lot of underage Eton toffs larging it about in the pubs. One of them, after being a complete nobber all night after getting pissed on half a cider was coming past our table when he put an outlandish blue and white scarf around him.

"What the fuck is that?" one of our group said.

He just turn around and said very matter-of-factly "It's my school choir scarf."

There was nothing any of us could say.
(Thu 29th Apr 2004, 14:30, More)

» Childhood bad taste

Car Stickers
During the early 90's I seem to recall EVERYONE and I mean EVERYONE for about 6 weeks covered their cars in 'hilarious' stickers. As I was only about 9 at the time I didn't have my own car but my parents did and they had the side splittingly funny "Dont follow us - Were lost too!!!!!!!!" on the back windscreen.

Laugh? I nearly woke up.
(Fri 10th Dec 2004, 14:32, More)