» Pure Ignorance

And then there was the time
Some friends and I were trying to siphon some fuel from my buddie's mom's car. It was dark, so to help us out, another of my friends pulls a lighter, lights it, and puts it by the gas tank door, saying "need a light?" It's a wonder any of us lived the night...especially him.
(Sat 8th Jan 2005, 16:27, More)

» Evidence that you're getting old

My creaky mind is straining under the weight of remembering....
A few years ago, I was standing in the yard of my apartment, when somd late-teenagers walked past. They were having a pretty lively discussion that got really quiet as they passed me. I thought "what the fuck?"

A few minutes later, a couple of similarly aged teenage girls were passing, so I asked "when you look at me, do you see a regular guy, or a grown-up."

It was like a flaming arrow into the hindenburg.

Now I'm back in college, so I feel old whenever any of the 19-22 year-old hotties pass me without so much as a glance...(sigh)
(Sat 30th Oct 2004, 16:10, More)

» Pure Ignorance

I was at a party at a bar
and it was pretty loud. I wanted a drink, so I tried to get the waitresses attention by snapping my fingers. It was the first time in my apparently sheltered lifethat I learned what a faux pa really was. That waitress chewed me a new one in front of all my mates. To this day I feel like an asshole about it.
(Sat 8th Jan 2005, 16:22, More)

» Office Christmas Parties

Multinational Scrooge
My Father-in-law's office had their party the other day, and all of the staff got a message wishing them a merry christmas. The managers got a message saying that the party would start at 1:30, someone had to stay in each department to "man the phones" (no voicemail?), and that everyone was to be back at their desks NO LATER than 2:15.

Scroogydouche!
(Mon 20th Dec 2004, 1:43, More)