You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Profile for Shining Love Pig:
Profile Info:

surroundedbyfishandrice

Recent front page messages:


none

Best answers to questions:

» Pet Stories

cats cats cats
Ours was a cat family. Before our Gran moved in, we had accumulated five...Gran, being of the divorced and demented denomination, had nineteen of the buggers...at one point I knew all their names, but I digress...

A noteworthy character was Murray, a slithe and nimble fellow, who liked nothing better than deftly skipping up your leg, scaling your back and coming to rest on your shoulders like a ginger scarf. Since he was so delicate of frame, it was a while before he started to get heavy.

The problem came with Deckland, a tabby who was built like a tank. He was clearly up for what Murray was getting, and would also try to reach your shoulders, unfortunately in a far less graceful manner, what with the scrabbling and the claws, the tearing and the colossal weight of a muscular tabby on your shoulders...

Then there was Jasper, a jet black, charismatic and affable chap, who unfortunately became a rapist in later life...poor, weak defenseless Snoopy...

...and Esmerelda, a handy lady to have about the place, for when another cat was sick, she would zoom in and lap it up completely, a dangerous "don't come anywhere near me!" look in her eyes...
(Fri 8th Jun 2007, 10:40, More)

» Sacked

My greatest achievment?
I got fired from two telesales jobs on the same day. I rarely take pride in my inability to do something.
(Fri 24th Feb 2006, 5:04, More)

» Guilty Secrets

shame? maybe...
I can recite an entire Mr Kipling advert from the eighties
(Fri 31st Aug 2007, 12:33, More)

» Road Rage

Silly bugger...and men can multi-task
I`ve never snapped at anyone...but a certain Shining Love Piglet, embarking upon road cycling for the first time, was slightly lax about hand signals. My leisurely change of lanes cues a deafening screech behind me, then a rapid accelerating "vroom" noise sprouting from just behind my right ear. A well polished and probably very nice car sidles up, with a bespectacled gent shaking his fist at me and roaring

"IMBECILE!"

Never been called that name before or since, and frankly, I deserved it.

Incidentally, over here in sunny J-pan, I saw a guy riding a bicycle (not exactly at a crawl) whilst holding an umbrella, smoking a cigarette and reading a manga at the same time. Respect.
(Fri 13th Oct 2006, 3:46, More)

» Ignoring Instructions

Read a while ago in Fortean Times...
...so might not be exactly accurate...translation of instructions on a Swedish chainsaw

Do not operate on hands or testicles
(Wed 10th May 2006, 1:18, More)
[read all their answers]