» Lies Your Parents Told You

My birthday
My parents lied to me about when my birthday was.

I went into daycare quite young and my pre-school teacher suggested I might be bored staying for another year and that I was ready to start school (yes I must have been a monster). As I went to Catholic schools my parents simply tippexed out the date on my baptismal certificate and typed over the top adjusting my birth date by two months so I would make the cut off date for entry for that year.

So from 4 until about 6 or so I celebrated it then. However I think that on my 7th birthday I got a little confused about the date (and who could blame me) and insisted that it was the day before. When I have tried to piece it together I can vaguely remember as that was the only year I didn't have a proper cake. So from 7 til 11 I thought that this birthday was my real birthday when in fact it wasn't even my real fake birthday which was a day later.

That said I celebrated my birthday on this date til I was 18. I'm still a bit funny about my birthdays to this day. But I'm the only one that celebrates all 3.
(Thu 15th Jan 2004, 12:49, More)

» It was a great holiday, but...

Not that bad really ...
Like anyone I've had a few iffy moments on hols. The ones I remember:
* Realising that I didn't have any money on me on the ferry over to Zambia and having to sneak onto a bus (where I was the only white person) without paying.
* Overstaying my visa and pulled off a bus 50ks out of town for a chat with the customs guy. Watching said bus (which comes every three days) leave was very sad
* Noticing that my tent in Germany (in Oct) was not in fact waterproof.
* Starting to think that the guy leading me through the back sts of a fishing village in Senegal might be a bit dodgy.
* Being threatened by my driver in Severe cause I wanted to be dropped in Mopti instead.
* Coming down with a fever in Peruivan jungle with my guide trying to get into my pants.
* Condom breakage with slutty Mauritanian dude
* Not speaking the language at all and no one speaking yours
* Going to the toliet in the desert
* 20 people in a Land Cruiser and some sheep on the roof.
* 12 hours straight of Celine Dion thanks to lift giving truckie
* Running out of petrol, having to walk 7ks into town (got a lift back) then having the engine die 30ks out of town, hitch to next town, get it fixed, they don't put bonnet down prop so it flys up, detach bonnet, jump on it to bend back, cue bus load of tourists
* Realising that your bus doesn't have any brakes
* Jordanian guy driving like a mad thing to scare us "oh and one of my friends plunged over this ravine only last week"
* Running out of money
* Being threatened by fake coppers in Bucherest
* Staying in a "hostel" in Cairo that should have been condemned with a girl who slept with a stray cat tied to her bed
* Opening the fly to my tent and having a couple pull up an armchair to watch me like a tv
Actually its getting a bit long so that'll do.
(Mon 25th Apr 2005, 15:23, More)

» World's Most Hated Food

Magic Mushrooms
When I was younger and living in Australia in the summer months mushroom picking was a popular activity for myself and some friends. In those days of course you couldn't just buy some from the shop as you can today. However as food tends not to keep for very long in the tropics and as we always picked enormous quantities of the stuff our mushrooms were not taken fresh but rather turned into a Magic Mushroom liquid.

This was kept in an assortment of plastic containers and bottles not being used immediately were frozen.

After a while in the fridge the mushroom liquid would separate into different layers and when this started happening you knew it would be difficult to keep down. Despite experimenting with different things to mask the taste (which was so bad that throwing up was a big problem) we hit a snag in that the item to mask the smell often also became associated with being ill.

As a mushroom lover before this stage of my life I went from having mushrooms everyday to now 6 years later only just now managing to start gingerly picking at them again. Oh and I couldn't drink lemonade for ages either.
(Mon 12th Jul 2004, 17:26, More)

» Shoddy Presents

Just keep it
The worst was instead of the I *love* New York t-shirt requested my parents returned with a black t-shirt with that hideous raised puffy writing saying Palm Beach in pink and accompanied by a equally lurid palm tree (orange and green). Oh and the sleeves rolled up to reveal that the underneath was in fact bright yellow. I have never seen the like since - god only knows where they got it as I don't think they had even gone to Palm Beach. Did I mention that all these colours were fluorescent and no it wasn't the 80's. Cheers.
(Tue 28th Sep 2004, 12:47, More)

» People with Stupid Names

Thank God it's not me
Knut
Yuk-Kee
Arse

These are the first names of some of the people I have worked with here in London. Obviously pronunciation is key. However my favourite has always been Meiow.
(Thu 26th Aug 2004, 13:00, More)