» My Wanking Disasters

Sorry, nothing elaborate.
Nothing too fancy, but when I first discovered what a weiner was used for I thought it'd be a good idea to use ben-gay (that stuff you put on sore muscles that makes your skin hot) as a lubricant. Well, not only did the friction from my hand superheat it, but also the lotion refused to wash off with soap and water. I then discovered that towels cause even more friction than hands. So, basically, I'm left with a limp red cock covered in ben-gay that's so dry and hot the skin is cracking. I never was able to wipe the ben-gay off, it just quit working after a while. Damn, did it burn. Haven't even thought about touching the stuff to my skin since.
(Wed 2nd Jun 2004, 16:51, More)

» Have you ever been dumped in a spectacular way?

well..
this one time when i was in kindergarten i had a girl tell me i was her boyfriend at the beggining of the day. i was in love, even though we didnt say anything to eachother past that. well, at least until about 2 o'clock, when she told me she'd dumped me. ahhh, young love.
(Fri 18th Jun 2004, 6:57, More)

» Things you've done when you've had no money.

pfffft
im still in high school milking my parents for meals/lodging. plus i have a job. $900 in the bank, $100 a week (summer's over), and $2000 in pc parts. And no aspirations. I can't wait to be poor like you guys!
(Sat 9th Oct 2004, 6:45, More)

» People with Stupid Names

barry dangle

(Thu 26th Aug 2004, 17:16, More)

» Lies Your Parents Told You

For me it is reverse
Sure, my dad told me plenty of crap, mostly like what a sign on the road said. An example of this is when he wanted to spend some time with me one day so he decided to take me to see the rocketeer movie and i really didnt want to. we were in the car and didnt talk for a few minutes, but then i got curious and started asking him what a few signs said. he told me that one of them said "Dad and Robbie need to go see the rocketeer right now" i was 6 but believed it, saw it, and loved it. Also, while im on movies, my mother told me that after i went to see batman returns there would be a stand sellign all the action figures and i got so pumped up and talked about it constantly and when we finally went to see it i hardly paid attention to the movie and when we wlaked out i about screamed. there was no stand. i was fucking pissed. i dont remeber what i did after that.
BUT, as i said, for me it is reverse. My mother is one of the most gullible people on earth. An example of this is when this summer my best friend and I had jsut gotten back from a day of great paintball and she was asking all this stuff about it. it was a long car ride back and it got a bit annoying so i told her that this one kid who she had said looked suspicious (hes a goth with a bike and a jacket that says "born in sin") had brought this gun that shot out little mini saw blades. i was basically describing unreal tournament's "ripper". She got really freaked out and asked his last name so she could call his parents. i went on to tell her that he had been shooting at us with them and that a tree had actually gotten sliced in two right beside me. now, this is normally when someone goes "nuh uh" but she goes "oh my god!" i then proceeded to show her a cut on my leg that was bleeding and said tht he had done it. after a while, we told her the truth and after she cursed me for 20 mins i told her that i actually hadnt been lying and that the truth was actually a lie. she fell for the same thign all over again. it was great. i have some more good stuff but im watching pirates of the caribbean and it has most of my attention.
(Sat 17th Jan 2004, 2:07, More)