» Never Meet Your Heroes

Dr Karl Kennedy
I was out with a load of my friends on new years eve 2001 in a trendy bar that used to be a fire station. It was quite empty for some reason and we were one of only two big parties in there. Suddenly we heard a furore from over the other side of the room, it was squeels of delight from some of my friends who'd been at the bar and had noticed none other than "Dr K". I was extremely sceptical of it being him but in my drunken state I went over and started loudly stating that it couldn't be him and he was just some middle aged sleaze who was using his passing similarity to the "Love Dr" to hit on 18 year old girls. The guy took it in good humour (well, he didn't hit me) and after the believers had solicited signatures we moved on. The first thing I noticed on exiting the door was a large advert on a bus stop for a panto starring Dr Kennedy in Sheffield.

I don't know if this is considered long so I will apologise just in case.
(Sun 28th May 2006, 14:56, More)

» Public Transport Trauma

The Poker Face
During my student years I regularly used to get the train from Newcastle to Sheffield, and being chronically disorganised I would always fail to book tickets early. I would check ticket prices online, whinge about how expensive they were and decide to make the trip for free. As neither station has gates I would usually either buy a ticket that would get me half way then pretend to be asleep (incredibly stressful, especially when the possibility of actually falling asleep and missing my stop was factored in) or not buy a ticket at all and go for the old 'expressionless mask' whereby you simply ignore the conductor when he comes along the train checking tickets (ridiculously stressful, not remotely worth it). I finally decided to start paying my way when the conductor fell over on top of me as the train rounded a corner while he was checking tickets. He then went to open the doors for the next station and on his next round he asked for my ticket. While I was going to my pocket to get my non printed ticket that I saved for emergencies (would never, ever, work) he said "Oh aye I've seen yours, I fell over on you didn't I", I nodded and realised that I'd been given a warning. I now buy a ticket for every journey, not least because when you have one and a good book public transport is an incredibly nice way to travel (if you're not on it during rush hour). Still dodge the fare on the Metro though, that's just too easy. Having said that I once vaulted over the platform wall to avoid ticket inspectors and fell about 12 feet into some bushes. In my haste to avoid paying the £10 first offence fine I almost broke both my legs. Worth it.
(Fri 30th May 2008, 19:10, More)

» Useless advice

American advert for an SUV
with sharks swimming around a car being driven underwater. Warning at the bottom of the screen:

The blahde blah 4x4 is not designed for sub aquatic driving.

Draw a venn diagram. Americans in one circle, SUV drivers in the other. Where they cross is who that advert was aimed at. This says a lot I think.
(Mon 23rd Oct 2006, 22:33, More)