b3ta.com user janik
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» Stupid Tourists

Pronunciation
Stupid English speakers always stress the second syllable in helSINki, when everybody in the world should know that in Finnish the stress is on the first syllable. More like HELsinki.

Actually I meant something horribly funny about someone not being able to pronunce Loughborough, Leicester or Gloucestershire.

All Loughboroughites should go to Poland and try to get directions there.
(Fri 8th Jul 2005, 9:10, More)

» My Worst Vomit

I really, really don't want to tell you this.
Why do you make me tell you this?

OK, I was at a new years party. The party was hosted by really adult people I didn't know, in a country I didn't live in. The hosts had children and things like that and I was still (still am) more in a "drinking is way fun" -period in my life.

At some moment during the evening I started feeling bad. I don't know if it was because of something I ate or something i drank or a combination of the two (I didn't think I was very drunk, but I might be mistaking here). Point is, I started to feel the urge to vomit really bad.

No prob, head discreetly towards the bathroom. Just one minor problem, there is someone in there already. Just another problem, you really are going to throw up in about 10 seconds so think really fast...


The best option seemed to be to vomit silently in the stairway, where the puke could easily be cleaned up. Said and done, open the door and let it rip....

After I had stopped convulsing, the one person I knew at the party came out to look for me and put on the lights. At this time I lifted my head and realised that instead of the stairway of the house, I was in the kids' bedroom. With the kids sleeping in there. Oh, the embarrassment.

What can I say? If you are one of the children and you read this in the future - I really am horribly sorry and will be happy to pay fore part of you therapy.
(Fri 20th Aug 2004, 21:29, More)

» Racist grandparents

In Reverse

My father (along with several other people from Finland) moved to Sweden in the beginning of the 70's. Jobs in Finland were scarce, and many Swedish industrial plants were hiring like mad.

Well, after living in Sweden for maybe ten years, somebody asked him what he thought of Sweden.

"It's marvellous. A really beautiful and prosperous country. I've never used it, but I hear the social security system is great, and there's free health care for everyone. All in all, a great country... if it wasn't for all the Swedes."
(Wed 2nd Nov 2011, 8:15, More)

» Kids

Repost from the Vomit-QOTW, as if fits so nicely.
I really, really don't want to tell you this.
Why do you make me tell you this?

OK, I was at a new years party. The party was hosted by really adult people I didn't know, in a country I didn't live in. The hosts had children and things, and I was still (and still am) more in a "drinking is way fun" -period in my life.

At some moment during the evening I started feeling bad. I don't know if it was because of something I ate or something i drank or a combination of the two (I didn't think I was very drunk, but I might be mistaking here). Point is, I started to feel the urge to vomit really bad.

No prob, head discreetly towards the bathroom. Just one minor problem, there is someone in there already. Just another problem, you really are going to throw up in about 10 seconds so think really fast.

The best option seemed to be to vomit silently in the stairway, where the puke could easily be cleaned up. Said and done, open the door and let it rip.

After I had stopped convulsing, the one person I knew at the party came out to look for me and put on the lights. At this time I raised my head and realised that instead of the stairway of the house, I was in the kids' bedroom. With the kids sleeping in there. Oh, the embarrassment.

What can I say? If you are one of the children and you read this in the future - I really am horribly sorry and will be happy to pay for your therapy.
(Fri 18th Apr 2008, 7:46, More)

» Claims to Fame

Norwegian Disco!
I was helping a friend move when an elderly gentleman held a door open for me. Imagine my surprise when it was Åke Blomqvist, the dance instructor who was mistaken for Norwegian in newsletter 166. (He actually is Finnish, as was later pointed out.) Brilliant man.
(Tue 1st Mar 2005, 8:33, More)
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