» Misunderstood

not me..
but my old man. a few years back he went into a local pharamcy for some earex (i think it's otex now....) The young girl behind the counter was organizing a lady's prescrpition, but asked what my father would want.

dad: " can you show me where the earex is please?"
woman: (looking down at the floor, mumbling and pointing)"on that shelf.....the shelf...there"

my dad went to look, but couldn't see the earex anywhere. He once again asked her, and she repeated the same thing. he went back to where she was pointing, looked and laughed out loud. He went back to the counter, and said

"look, I don't know what you think of me, but I already have a son and daughter, it's a bit late for durex"
the girl went absolutely red and as very apologetic. then the lady who was waiting for her prescripton piped up "it's you who needs the earex love, go get yourself a bottle". the girl ran off! hahahaha
(Tue 11th Oct 2005, 8:53, More)

» Crap meals out

xmas 2005
my friends and I decided that a meal out would be a perfect way to meet each other as we hadn't seen one another for a few weeks, some for over a year. We went to a wetherspoons, as we were told they served fine food. My fiend and I decided to have a duo meal: the nachos were burnt, and very cold; my chilli was mushy and semi-warm; his steak was burnt and his fries undercooked; the coke was flat and the malibu tasted watered down. Along with this, there were two drunken slags screaming about sex with their husbands and their extramarital boyfriends. Never has a nacho reminded me so much of a woman's vagina after i heard that very word being mentioned by one of the obnoxious women. The sour cream visual didn't help, either.
(Mon 1st May 2006, 22:42, More)

» DIY fashion

hallowe'en
hallowe'en 2005:

Red velvet dress, with glow in the dark bats sewn to the bottom, and a few stars. I loved it, but felt like a pratt since it was the friday before hallowe'en and i was also the only one dressed up.

hallowe'en 2004

Long black dress, shortened to a short black dress with ragged edges, and i wore a tiara and smudged eyeliner to give a "dead prom queen" look, which then ended up looking like the cover of "celebrity skin" by hole. by the third night club the straps had broken and i was left clutching at my breasts as i walked to get a taxi home.

hallowe'en 2003

Black strappy top, black shawl, black trousers.
and mini tesco cereal boxes stuck on with double sided sticky tape, with knives and bombs attacking them, and with faces of pain on the boxes. "cereal killer" is a stupid costume, and by the time i got to the club, everything had fallen off.pfft.
(Mon 28th Aug 2006, 18:54, More)

» Airport Stories

bleep...
after a 7 hour flight from gatwick to Atlanta, and a 2 hour flight to Orlando,i was feeling extremely rough and tired,and just wanted to get to the hotel. As we passed through an empty security check point (it was late at night), the guard decided me passing through the machine was the best time to check it worked, and promptly kicked it. I knew I had nothing metal on my body, and after about 4 minutes of "wanding" me, he decided that "it must have gone off because of your zipper on your jacket". wanker.
(Fri 3rd Mar 2006, 15:52, More)

» Stupid Tourists

when I was in Washington D.C
back in October 2004, I was shopping in "Bath and Body Works"(for those who don't know, it's almost exactly like The Body Shop), and as I was paying for the products, the woman at the counter asked me for my Zip Code. In my completely-obvious-I-am-not-American-since-I-live-in-Wales accent, I explained to her that I wasn't living in Washington. I told her that I lived in Wales. She then asked me which state Wales was in.


I do love America, though. Yet that was such a classic line!
(Fri 8th Jul 2005, 14:28, More)