» Overheard secrets

Neighbours..
I frequently overheard my new neighbour shout abuse and threats at his poor girlfriend who screamed for him to stop. This went on for a few weeks. After one particulary bad night in which banging could be heard all night he came to apologise for disturbing me. His excuse was he'd got a rabbit cage up against a wall and the rabbits fought causing the cage to bang against the wall. He told me to keep my mouth shut and tried to frighten me into silence.
I reported this to my landlord and he'd had other reports from other neighbours too. Thankfully the next I heard was he had been charged with domestic abuse and she was safe in a womens hostel.
Apologies for lack of funny, but the abuse I overheard haunted me and still does. The fact I was a young female living on my own scared me into silence to begin with but once I reported it I realised I had nothing to be scared of, he couldn't touch me. If only I'd done it sooner
(Sat 27th Aug 2011, 13:12, More)

» War

laser quest
I'm a volunteer at a kids group and a few summers ago had the privilege of organising a day trip for 20 7-10 year old girls. Being an adventurous sort I decided that I would let them spend a few hours running around in the dark shooting each others with lasers. After all they were young ladies in training and what harm could it be.
After we're all kitted up and shown what to do I divide us into a few small groups and the cry goes out to let the games begin. We run around aimlessly for the first few minutes as the girls get to grips with these strange gun things and find their way round the dark course.
One by one the groups head off and start making bases around the lower levels of the course and all that can be heard is whispering girls and in the dark it is the most unnerving thing you can hear. I head off on my own thinking my age and size is sure to protect me when I suddenly find myself falling over a fairly large obstacle. Within seconds I'm pinned to the ground by 20 girls and one by one they spend the next 5 minutes repeatedly shooting me. After much negotiating I was freed and allowed back into battle. When we finally finish and the printouts are handed out the man behind the desk comments on the ridiculously high number of hits I took when a voice pipes up "We had it all planned out for days, I lay on the floor and tripped her over and everyone else waited to pin her down". These girls are now 14-17 and if they could plan such a great strategy at such a young age imagine what they could do now!
(Mon 4th Jun 2012, 21:02, More)

» Sacked

Fast Food
I had the misfortune of working in the fast food industry for several months and during this time met some very interesting people. Of all these people I eventually found getting close to a girl by the name of S. One day, much to my dismay, she broke the news to me that she was moving and therefore leaving work. To make sure people would remember her after leaving she decided to get sacked in spectacular fashion with me as her partner in crime and not hand her notice to management in the normal way. Her day of reckoning arrived and the companies list of sackable offences memorised. As the day progressed we succeeded in having a sauce fight, which included filling each others caps with a lovely mix of mustard, mayo and BBQ sauce and turning our plain red uniforms into something out of Joseph. We had a sword fight with the big, pinic table umberellas in the pouring rain and used them to caterpulte huge piles of sloppy mud at each other. Other offences were carried out and sure enough at the end of the day she was called into the managers office and told that due to recent performance levels she was sacked (I managed to escaped punishment as it was my 1st offence and would no longer have a bad influence).
I set off for work the next day and recieved a text from my now out of work mate reading "Wait till you see what else I did" and found out that she had sneakily booby-trapped the place at the of the day to make her sacking even more memorable. For days we found bits of chopped up burgers and hotdogs shoved in the popcorn machine, mouldy chips shoved in random chip boxes which had been re-stacked and WASPS, yes WASPS!, trapped in the umberellas so the next poor soul who opened them was attacked by a swarm of angry wasps.
(Fri 24th Feb 2006, 23:10, More)

» Heckles

Innocent
Picture the scene I'm on stage performing in the local pantomine and in this particular scene my character's blissfully unaware they're dealing with a ghost. I waffle on about how pale this ghost looks and encourage shouts of "Its a ghost" from the audience. All the other performances had gone well and audience partcipation had been at an all time high until this performance. The ghost "ghosted", I bumbled and the audience sat in dead silence forgetting that tradtionally the audience join in in pantos. It was beginning to get embarassing and so the prompt had to shout out "It's a ghost" for us as this was a key part of the scene. I opened my mouth to speak my next line and was beaten to it by a child "whispering" to their mum in the audience "Some people are so stupid it's obviously a man in a sheet". It woke the audience up as they all burst out laughing and this comment actually got the biggest laugh of the performance!
(Fri 7th Apr 2006, 21:04, More)

» School Sports Day

Oops
A memorable sports day moment has to be when I was in year 9 and a teacher had hooked his car radio up to speakers to entertain the crowd. The local radio station was put on and we all joked about ringing up and putting in a song request. As far as I knew nobody dared do it as mobiles were banned and anybody caught with a phone was serverly punished. All this changed though when over the speakers the DJ annouced "I have a request here from a pupil at ****** school who says she's bored ats sports day and needs cheering up". Cue every teacher in the school marching round demanding we turn our pockets out and every student in the school lobbing their phones into nearby bushes.
(Fri 31st Mar 2006, 17:11, More)