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» Foot in Mouth Syndrome

Petrol Station Blues
Using my bestest, most booming, impersonating God voice I told the two men in suits to;

"Obey the voice of God, Come to my little window/drawer thing"

Looking somewhat affronted, they stormed over and handed over their money. It was at this point I noticed their badges said "Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints" on them.

Ooops.
(Tue 20th Apr 2004, 22:38, More)

» Petty Sabotage

somewhere on here...
Someone mentioned sabotaging gas lift chairs. I did it last night to my boss' chair. He came in, sat down, sank, got up, swapped chairs and promptly shouted at me for being silly.

My response to this was to sabotage both chairs tonight.
(Sun 8th May 2005, 20:33, More)

» Pure Ignorance

I was once asked...
'So do goths eat mushrooms?'

The slightly dim individual was rather suprised to find that indeed, i was one goth who not only ate mushrooms, but a whole plethora of other veg too.
(Fri 7th Jan 2005, 22:02, More)

» Toilets

no so much the toilet...
One night a fair while back me and my mates (ed and ad) were in some manchester uni building to see some band or other. Having had a few drinks before wandering to the venue we decided on arrival that a piss was in order. So to the gents we went.

As i went in i saw the fancy if unusual 'sink' (essentially a steel fountain with constantly flowing water to wash your hands in) and a few guys washing their hands before leaving. I wandered to the far end of the room to make toilet.

Once i was done i turned round to find ad and ed washing their hands, chatting hapily round the 'sink'. Sadly as i got closer it became obvious that they were not actually washing their hands... more like pissing in the 'sink'.

I don't think i've laughed so hard.
(Fri 2nd Sep 2005, 20:22, More)

» When I met the parents

not me but...
the first time my sweetie met my parents my dad insisted on telling her about the 'last' unfound body of the moors murders is still hidden somewhere on the moors above my house and various other weird goings on and misdeeds that've happened here since the dawn of time..

what a good first impression to make.
(Sat 21st May 2005, 13:07, More)
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