» Festivals

'Excuse me, but is that a crown of thorns above that fist?'
Last year, me and my mate Graham Hughes tried to think up of what would be funniest/most offensive flag for Glastonbury and see if we can get it on TV.

Now, to be offensive and funny in as few words as possible. It was easy being one or the other, but both? Surprisingly tricky. It took us several beers but we came up with a solution. Three simple words.

Fist.
Me.
Jesus.

And so it happened. dressed in dinner jackets and top hats we wandered glastonbury making the BBC's life a nightmare...

Anyway, we've been to pretty much every glasto since 1997 together, but sadly not this year. he's visiting every country in the world for charity but since last week he's been falsely imprisoned off the coast of senegal. www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2009/jun/07/briton-arrest-santiago-cape-verde and is due to go to court today

It’s a shameless plug, but do check out his website. www.grahamdavidhughes.com/ Hopefully there will be news shortly & he can continue on his his odyssey.

Thinking of you buddy.
(Mon 8th Jun 2009, 12:12, More)

» Why should you be fired from your job?

Ah, the irony...
Quite simply, I was fucking my 'married with 2 kids' boss's mistress behind his back.

As it was, I was about to hand in my notice to go traveling, the company makes me redundant, I get 3 1/2 months paid 'gardening leave' and a not inconsiderable redundancy payment, when otherwise I would have got naff all for quitting.

I'm now back from traveling and I'm still happily doing bugger all on the proceeds other than drink and party.

Result!
(Sat 11th Aug 2007, 10:02, More)

» The Worst Journey in the World

Returning home from Glasto 98
My First Glastobury, 1998. It fucking tipped it down for the week before, and contiunued for the whole weekend. If you were there, you'll remember how awful it was.

My solution? Go with a shitload of billy and be twatted for 4 days and forget how you are going to feel by Monday.

Anyway monday arrived and started our journey home to manchester Unfortunately, the other 'driver' was in too much of a paranoid mess to drive (was getting freaked out by me driving around corners), me I was hollucinating that motorway flyovers were infact hedges, but I was driving through them because I knew my mind was playing tricks on me...

Realising I was actually quite likely to die if I carried on driving with that attitude, I pulled over at the 1st service station, paid the £40 for a travelodge and passed out for a good 18 hours. best £40 I've ever spent.

Long term effect - Been to every glastonbursy since. Never touched amphetemine again.
(Tue 12th Sep 2006, 0:08, More)

» Have you ever been rude to a celebrity?

When Dogstar Played at Glastonbury....
...my mate Graham was the first to start the tirade of rotten veg thrown at him, and his Lemon/missile that hit Keanu Reeves' Bass, the photo of which made into 'The Sun' the following day... We were proud...

Both of us chanting 'Mp3, Mp3!' and singing Guns n Roses songs at the front of the Moshpit at Mettalica at Leeds 2003, infont of 50/50 split of amused/pissed off mettalica fans was quite a hoot too. I was absolutely twatted on Beer and Pills at the time, him, half a litre of whisky
(Wed 14th Apr 2004, 22:35, More)