Apologies for seriousness/crapness etc

(Sun 2nd Feb 2003, 0:27, More)

Arrrgh! No! Don't do it!
They only wanted somewhere to rest their weary heads on their long trip to Sainsbury's


Poor little buggers
(Sat 25th May 2002, 0:53, More)

I made one, but I don`t think its the one you mean.


Although her passion for art was great, Sister Wendy enjoyed nothing more than winding down after a hard day with a few thumping hard house tunes
(Wed 22nd May 2002, 1:54, More)

The result of a hard days revision


PS: It's meant to be furtive.

My exam is tomorrow morning :'(
(Thu 16th May 2002, 20:14, More)

» Out of my depth

Twas the second year of university
and my housemate and I had enjoyed the student life a little too much and had done no revision for the following day's two exams.

Needless to say, we did an all-night revision session but by 7am we had only done enough work to answer one small part of one exam (if we were lucky enough for the right question to come up on the paper).

What to do with the next 2 hours before we had to set off? Of course. we wrote a message on the wall behind the radiator

"Please give us the answers to the two exams today" and dated it.

The plan was that our 'future selves' would turn up at about 8am with the answers. The hour from 7am to 8am was spent getting excited at the prospect of meeting ourselves (we had had a lot of Red Rooster), and if they didn't turn up, would it mean that we didn't need the answers or did it mean that our future selves had perished trying to get the answers to us? We were taking this whole thing deadly seriously.

Needless to say, they didn't arrive and when the time came we were completely out of our depth, but it still brings a smile to my face remembering my mates words at 7.55am.

"I'm off for a shit. Give us a shout when they get here"
(Wed 20th Oct 2004, 14:34, More)

» Office Christmas Parties

My boss is making me work all through christmas.
The bitch is a proper slave driver and no doubt she'll have us doing all the usual chores of lugging heavy stuff around.

No christmas for me and certainly no christmas party! The pay is bloody terrible too!

Mind you, I am an ant...
(Thu 16th Dec 2004, 17:39, More)

» I'm an expert

Oral Sex
Mind you, it's only my opinion and I do like to blow my own trumpet...
(Tue 28th Jun 2005, 20:11, More)

» Job Interviews

I went for my Cambridge interview
but chose to muck it up as I realised that I hated the place, plus I am dead cool. They would have blatantly accepted me if I'd tried but I couldn't be arsed. I ended up going to some wank university instead and I never regret my 'decision'.

I am also a lying twat.
(Tue 25th Jan 2005, 15:19, More)

» Strange things you've been paid to do

I was the payer.
I promised to pay a 'friend' 50p to eat a sheet of A4 paper.

It was down the hatch within 30 seconds.

I never paid him that 50p. It was my sheet of paper and I figured that providing him with a hearty starchy meal was payment enough.
(Thu 30th Sep 2004, 12:45, More)