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» I witnessed a crime
Army justice
About 10 years ago, a mate of mine, lets call him Brian, was set upon by a bunch of about 6 or 7 scabby little shits at a bank machine right in the middle of town. Brian is a well meaning, quiet, weedy little bloke who wouldn't dare offend anyone, much less hurt someone else, you know the type. They knicked his money - fair enough. Then they kicked seven colours of shite out of him which really wasn't called for. He had to go to A&E and was in quite a bad way really for a few days afterwards.
Anyway, what the scabby little minks didn't realise was that Brian was mates with a bunch of huge burly army cadets who went to the same engineering class as him in university, and they were right put out at the injustice of it all.
So, cut to about a week or two later, Ed, one of the cadets, was driving through town about 3 or 4 miles from where the mugging happened with Brian in his passenger seat and Brian spots the chavs walking along the side of the road on their way into town. He tells Ed that they're the guys and Ed and his cadet mates swing into action with top fucking military precision.
Ed gets straight on his mobile to all his mates, who drop what they're doing from all over town and jump in the nearest car full of vengeful muscle bound soldiers and speed towards the scene.
Ed drops Brian home telling him he really doesn't want to see what happens next, and being a well meaning chap, he really didn't. Meanwhile Ed's in constant contact with the rest of the army who are keeping the chavs under surveillance, but wait for Ed and the rest of their mates to get there as none of them want to miss this.
They really went to town on those little fuckers, using hurling sticks and the like. Must have sent most of them to the A&E in a far worse state than Brian.
EDIT: Which part of this I witnessed is left as an exercise for the reader
(Thu 14th Feb 2008, 13:40, More)
Army justice
About 10 years ago, a mate of mine, lets call him Brian, was set upon by a bunch of about 6 or 7 scabby little shits at a bank machine right in the middle of town. Brian is a well meaning, quiet, weedy little bloke who wouldn't dare offend anyone, much less hurt someone else, you know the type. They knicked his money - fair enough. Then they kicked seven colours of shite out of him which really wasn't called for. He had to go to A&E and was in quite a bad way really for a few days afterwards.
Anyway, what the scabby little minks didn't realise was that Brian was mates with a bunch of huge burly army cadets who went to the same engineering class as him in university, and they were right put out at the injustice of it all.
So, cut to about a week or two later, Ed, one of the cadets, was driving through town about 3 or 4 miles from where the mugging happened with Brian in his passenger seat and Brian spots the chavs walking along the side of the road on their way into town. He tells Ed that they're the guys and Ed and his cadet mates swing into action with top fucking military precision.
Ed gets straight on his mobile to all his mates, who drop what they're doing from all over town and jump in the nearest car full of vengeful muscle bound soldiers and speed towards the scene.
Ed drops Brian home telling him he really doesn't want to see what happens next, and being a well meaning chap, he really didn't. Meanwhile Ed's in constant contact with the rest of the army who are keeping the chavs under surveillance, but wait for Ed and the rest of their mates to get there as none of them want to miss this.
They really went to town on those little fuckers, using hurling sticks and the like. Must have sent most of them to the A&E in a far worse state than Brian.
EDIT: Which part of this I witnessed is left as an exercise for the reader
(Thu 14th Feb 2008, 13:40, More)
» The last thing that made me cry
heart attacks
I was sharing a house with my best mate, who had some sort of chest infection, he'd taken a few days off work and we were sitting down watching the telly. I nip down to the chippers to get us both a bite to eat, and when I get back ten minutes later he was dead. Shit. He was only 25.
(Mon 18th Apr 2005, 21:19, More)
heart attacks
I was sharing a house with my best mate, who had some sort of chest infection, he'd taken a few days off work and we were sitting down watching the telly. I nip down to the chippers to get us both a bite to eat, and when I get back ten minutes later he was dead. Shit. He was only 25.
(Mon 18th Apr 2005, 21:19, More)
» Obscure Memorabilia
pointy sticks
A co-worker has a 700 year old samurai sword that some jap officer handed over to the yanks after his bit of the army surrendered to them in world war two.
Whenever the wind blows too hard he gets freaked out someones in his house to hurt his family and he grabs it and runs around the place brandishing it like that loon from pulp fiction.
Bloody texans.
(Tue 9th Nov 2004, 21:02, More)
pointy sticks
A co-worker has a 700 year old samurai sword that some jap officer handed over to the yanks after his bit of the army surrendered to them in world war two.
Whenever the wind blows too hard he gets freaked out someones in his house to hurt his family and he grabs it and runs around the place brandishing it like that loon from pulp fiction.
Bloody texans.
(Tue 9th Nov 2004, 21:02, More)
» Pure Ignorance
out for dinner
...ladies mouth not quite connected to brain.
Lady: How many hours do you work?
Guy: thirty eight
Lady: (amazed) A Day!?
(Fri 7th Jan 2005, 15:31, More)
out for dinner
...ladies mouth not quite connected to brain.
Lady: How many hours do you work?
Guy: thirty eight
Lady: (amazed) A Day!?
(Fri 7th Jan 2005, 15:31, More)