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Apparently I need to fuck off.

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Best answers to questions:

» Scary Neighbours

Drugs raid
My neighbours were not particularly exciting or extravagant. Apart from the occasional escaping dog or late night visit from friends, they didn't disturb us.

Until, one morning, at 6:30am, we were woken by a loud banging.

Looked out the window to see 5 police vans, dozens of Coppers, and a battering ram on their rear door.

Minutes later, the door was bent out of shape and lying on the floor.

Never heard from them again, strangely.
(Fri 26th Aug 2005, 18:26, More)

» Childhood bad taste

My early bad taste
Was getting a fat kid at school to say he had a minge.

Y'see, it was reverse psychology - we said he hadnt got one, and he pretended to know what it was, so he got upset coz he thought it meant 'Teh Cock'.
(Fri 10th Dec 2004, 22:52, More)

» Accidental innuendo

Woman at work was watching as a fellow colleage
wiped his 'motorcycle head safety gear' with a cloth, and proclaimed:
"Do you polish your helmet all the time", in total innocence.

Furthermore, there is a cake from Gurnsey called Gaishe, - pronounced "Cunt".
(Thu 19th Jun 2008, 0:20, More)

» Evidence that you're getting old

Getting older
1: Saying "Kids have it good these days".
2. Being overly nostalgic about your childhood days.
3. Realising that you listen to Radio 4 a lot more.
4. Complaining that Music isnt the same anymore.
5. Attracting 18 year olds in tight skirts and with huge tit.... sorry thats my dream from last night...
(Sat 30th Oct 2004, 12:59, More)

» My Worst Date

Silly moo
Well I realised she was a dead loss when the Kate winslet lookalike turned out to look more like Dawn French.... Okay, Dawn isnt exactly the worst looking babe in the world, but lets face it, if given the choice between Dawn and Kate, who'd you go for???? Well, she turned up... looking decidedly non Kateish, and let me observe how Fat folded on the female form. Oh how kind. Desperate for some form of escape, I decided to act Geeky, and suggest a session at the Trocadero Segaworld (as it was then!). After spending £10 on tokens for the barf bucket rides, I managed to convince her I wasnt worth dating! Mmm Okay, I told her to fuck off....
(Sat 23rd Oct 2004, 1:16, More)
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