Profile for Troncmaster:
Computer programmer with enough time to surf B3TA but not quite enough to photoshop
maybe one day
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Best answers to questions:
- a member for 21 years, 11 months and 15 days
- has posted 135 messages on the main board
- has posted 0 messages on the talk board
- has posted 1 messages on the links board
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- has posted 5 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
- They liked 0 pictures, 0 links, 0 talk posts, and 3 qotw answers.
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Computer programmer with enough time to surf B3TA but not quite enough to photoshop
maybe one day
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» Have you ever been rude to a celebrity?
Ken Dodd...
...about the time he was being sued by the inland revenue for his tax doding antics was opening the Saddleworth Show near where I live.
I turned up and asked for his autograph and gave him a tax return form to sign.
He called me a 'naughty little diddyman'
(Thu 15th Apr 2004, 13:34, More)
Ken Dodd...
...about the time he was being sued by the inland revenue for his tax doding antics was opening the Saddleworth Show near where I live.
I turned up and asked for his autograph and gave him a tax return form to sign.
He called me a 'naughty little diddyman'
(Thu 15th Apr 2004, 13:34, More)
» Pure Ignorance
Southerners......
When coming back from my honeymoon in Mexico some years back I was coming up to passport control where we had to stand in one of two rows 'EU Nationals' and 'Non EU Nationals'. Standing in the EU Nationals queue I heard a woman behind me turn to her husband and say, 'Which queue should we be in?'. 'I'm not sure' he replies. Quite loudly and in the poshest accent I have ever heard she suddenly blurts 'We must be in the Non EU queue, we can't be EU we're British.'
She then stormed to the back of the other queue which appeared to consist mainly of Africans in some form of national dress.
(Fri 7th Jan 2005, 17:15, More)
Southerners......
When coming back from my honeymoon in Mexico some years back I was coming up to passport control where we had to stand in one of two rows 'EU Nationals' and 'Non EU Nationals'. Standing in the EU Nationals queue I heard a woman behind me turn to her husband and say, 'Which queue should we be in?'. 'I'm not sure' he replies. Quite loudly and in the poshest accent I have ever heard she suddenly blurts 'We must be in the Non EU queue, we can't be EU we're British.'
She then stormed to the back of the other queue which appeared to consist mainly of Africans in some form of national dress.
(Fri 7th Jan 2005, 17:15, More)
» Shit Stories
One of our teachers....
Used to bring her whippet to school with her.
The cruel cow used to keep it in her car all day. with a window open a little bit to let the air in.
One swelteringly summers day we decided that the time had come to be cruel to be kind and so pushed a full bar of laxative chocolate through the car window.
I can only ask that you use your imagination to the fullest when picturing the scene resulting from a dog that has completely loosed its bowels in the back of a car that was doubling as a greenhouse on that summers day.
The contorted expressions that the teachers face went through as she attempted to get the car into a drivable state whilst hundreds of pupils gathered round to watch was fantastic.
She never did bring the dog to school again.
(Fri 7th May 2004, 12:47, More)
One of our teachers....
Used to bring her whippet to school with her.
The cruel cow used to keep it in her car all day. with a window open a little bit to let the air in.
One swelteringly summers day we decided that the time had come to be cruel to be kind and so pushed a full bar of laxative chocolate through the car window.
I can only ask that you use your imagination to the fullest when picturing the scene resulting from a dog that has completely loosed its bowels in the back of a car that was doubling as a greenhouse on that summers day.
The contorted expressions that the teachers face went through as she attempted to get the car into a drivable state whilst hundreds of pupils gathered round to watch was fantastic.
She never did bring the dog to school again.
(Fri 7th May 2004, 12:47, More)