» Stupid Tourists

Germans demand tea.
I went round to a mate's house recently and we were startled to find a German family sitting on his garden furniture asking for tea. The door had been left on the catch and I guess they just assumed it was a cafe.
(Fri 8th Jul 2005, 16:12, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

Not that sick George Bush joke
George Bush dies and is sent to hell.

Satan explains to George Bush that hell is overcrowded and that he needs to evict someone else to make room.

"i'll give you a choice" says Satan, and George is shown 3 rooms.

In the first room is J.F.K. being stretched on a rack.
"If you choose this room" says Satan, "you will be tortured on the rack forever.

"Don't fancy that" says George, and he is shown the second room.
Behind the next door is Richard Nixon who is being savaged by rabid baboons.
"If you choose this room" says Satan, "you will be mutilated by rabid baboons forever"

"that doesn't appeal either" says George and Satan opens the final door.

George Bush jumps for joy as he sees Bill Clinton being blown off by Monica Lewinsky----forever.
"I'll take this one!" says George "this one!"
Satan shrugs and says

"OK Monica, you can go...."
(Thu 8th Dec 2005, 13:47, More)

» Injured Siblings

Only child
I took my potential sibling rivalry on ants when I was a child. Having no siblings resulted in me torturing insects. I'm so ashamed. They're such a respectable invertebrate society. I expect their revenge at any moment. AAAAARRRGH.
(Sun 21st Aug 2005, 0:38, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

Always gets alaugh down the pub for some reason
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?

Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon and Michael Jackson sodomizes small boys.
(Wed 7th Dec 2005, 14:04, More)

» Council Cunts

Punk Band Special Duties also
wrote a punk classic called "Colchester Council (full of shit)

Seems Hackney aren't the only local authority immortalised in musical hatred.
(Thu 26th Jul 2007, 17:35, More)