Profile for Mattle:
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- a member for 5 years, 4 months and 17 days
- has posted 59 messages on the main board
- has posted 0 messages on the talk board
- has posted 6 messages on the links board
- (including 1 links)
- has posted 4 stories and 3 replies on question of the week
- They liked 71 pictures, 11 links, 0 talk posts, and 71 qotw answers.
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» Gyms
Gym Induction
I applied to join the gym, and was accepted, but had to go to an induction session. I duly turn up to find 5 or 6 other guys there and an incredibly hot, buxom Swedish girl, who is giving the induction.
She proceeded to work her way round the gym, from machine to machine, contorting herself into all manner of lovely positions, and grunt and sweat her way through each of them, explaining the intricacies of each device. Lovely!
The next day I turned up at the gym, and was just warming up, when a guy came over who I recognised from the intro the day before. After 10 minutes of discussion we discovered that a) we'd both spent the induction watching the hot swedish lass, and b) neither of us had a clue how any of the equipment worked.
I cancelled my membership that afternoon and haven't been back since...
(Thu 9th Jul 2009, 15:47, More)
Gym Induction
I applied to join the gym, and was accepted, but had to go to an induction session. I duly turn up to find 5 or 6 other guys there and an incredibly hot, buxom Swedish girl, who is giving the induction.
She proceeded to work her way round the gym, from machine to machine, contorting herself into all manner of lovely positions, and grunt and sweat her way through each of them, explaining the intricacies of each device. Lovely!
The next day I turned up at the gym, and was just warming up, when a guy came over who I recognised from the intro the day before. After 10 minutes of discussion we discovered that a) we'd both spent the induction watching the hot swedish lass, and b) neither of us had a clue how any of the equipment worked.
I cancelled my membership that afternoon and haven't been back since...
(Thu 9th Jul 2009, 15:47, More)
» Sexual fetishes
Ladies
I have a thing for women. You know, the female of the species - legs, breasts, bum - that kind of thing.
I now feel deeply ashamed for admitting my sick perversions...
(Sun 25th Oct 2009, 9:52, More)
Ladies
I have a thing for women. You know, the female of the species - legs, breasts, bum - that kind of thing.
I now feel deeply ashamed for admitting my sick perversions...
(Sun 25th Oct 2009, 9:52, More)
» Cringe!
Facebook is evil
A friend of mine had been trying to get his way with a young lady friend of his - he'd been at it for months, with no obvious sign of success. Like all good friends, he would regularly text me with the sordid details - or rather lack of - he wasn't very good at getting anywhere.
Finally, through a combination of alcohol, luck and an expensive dinner, he manages to seduce said lady enough to take her back to his flat and perform all manner of suitably wicked deeds. Being particularly smug, he decides that he has to text me to let me know the good news. Being particularly drunk, the message 'I've finally conquered the elusive Miss X, and lo, it was good!' went not to me, but to the Facebook mobile status update service. She didn't see it as a compliment...
(Tue 2nd Dec 2008, 10:16, More)
Facebook is evil
A friend of mine had been trying to get his way with a young lady friend of his - he'd been at it for months, with no obvious sign of success. Like all good friends, he would regularly text me with the sordid details - or rather lack of - he wasn't very good at getting anywhere.
Finally, through a combination of alcohol, luck and an expensive dinner, he manages to seduce said lady enough to take her back to his flat and perform all manner of suitably wicked deeds. Being particularly smug, he decides that he has to text me to let me know the good news. Being particularly drunk, the message 'I've finally conquered the elusive Miss X, and lo, it was good!' went not to me, but to the Facebook mobile status update service. She didn't see it as a compliment...
(Tue 2nd Dec 2008, 10:16, More)
» Stupid Tourists
Some people want everything...
Friend went on holiday to Florida and went out for a boat trip with several other groups of people.
When they got back to the quay, a New York family was complaining that they wanted their money back as the sea had been too rough and had made them seasick! I mean, it was a BOAT TRIP!
No pleasing some people...
(Wed 13th Jul 2005, 12:25, More)
Some people want everything...
Friend went on holiday to Florida and went out for a boat trip with several other groups of people.
When they got back to the quay, a New York family was complaining that they wanted their money back as the sea had been too rough and had made them seasick! I mean, it was a BOAT TRIP!
No pleasing some people...
(Wed 13th Jul 2005, 12:25, More)