» Heckles

No respect these youngsters
During 'o' levels we had a "study period" spent constructively slouching in the cafeteria doin' nowt. A teach walks purposely through, to stop and admonish us at our laziness. Turning to my mate who is almost horizonal, he says:

"Get your feet off the table"

to which he petulantly says "Why?"

"You wouldn't do that at home"

"Yes I would"

"What does your Mother say?

"You wouldn't do that at school"

Cue teacher striding off like a cat that's pretending it didn't fall off a fence.
(Mon 10th Apr 2006, 15:22, More)

» Being told off as an adult

Teachers without authority are...
just helpless souls in bad clothes.

Somewhere here is on topic, but mostly only kinda...

Every year at school/job/life there's a gobby gobshite, who usually deserves a slap, but gets away with it 'cause he makes everyone laugh. At school we had one or two, but P is the example here.

We were doing our 'O' Levels, those exams before GSCEs that took mildly more than signing your name to pass like now (in my day all this were primeval soup). We were 16, so kind of adults, in that puerile ladish way.

We had a "free period". While it was supposed to be used swotting for the next multiple choice nonsense, we were hanging out in the canteen doing nowt but chewing the fat. A teacher swishes by, in that special "I'm importantly busy" way they do while making that hideous noise that terminally unfashionable brown corduroy trousers make. He is a pompous ineffectual twat at the best of times. He takes his nose out of the ceiling long enough to take exception at our loitering: "What are you lot doing out of class?"

"Free period..." replies one without hiding any apathy.

"Shouldn't you be revising?"

"We're ready for our next exam, and thought best to be relaxed and not stressed before this very important step in our education" (actually it may have been "Can't be arsed")

So annoyed not to have found a legitimate issue turns to P and says "Get you feet off the table"

P: "Why?"

"Well you wouldn't do that at home!"

P: "Yes I would"

"What does your mother say?"

P: "You wouldn't do that at school"

Teacher can't answer that goes red faced back to "I'm busy and important" march, pretending not to here the unsurpressed "Twat" and laughter.
(Tue 25th Sep 2007, 9:06, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

Compound in-joke sickness.
What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple?



Me in my lucky blue coat!

(c) Mr Finlow-Bates - ta you sick git, you warped my fragile little mind.
(Thu 8th Dec 2005, 11:47, More)