b3ta.com user nobodyremembersmyname
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» World's Sickest Joke

Nice Mental Image eh?
A man woke up every morning and passed gas. After about eight or nine years of marriage, his wife finally said, if you fart any more, you'll fart your guts out. Being a butcher, the wife decided to put pig scraps in his pants so he would wake up, and not do it anymore. She put the scraps in his pants that night. He woke up in the morning and went across the hall to the bathroom. Two long hours later, he came out and stated, honey, you were right about me farting my guts out BUT WITH THE GRACE OF THE DEAR LORD AND THESE TWO FINGERS. I GOT THEM BACK IN THERE.

Thank Fuck For B3ta!
(Tue 14th Sep 2004, 12:14, More)

» Evidence that you're getting old

OPAL FRUITS!!!
Not that long ago i know but when you were around when they changed the name of something it does tend to dishearten your belief that your still young.

Especially when you ask for Opal fruits at the cinema and the twat behind it looks at you blank acne faced and says "what are they, dont think we sell them..."

Sure there are more names that have changed.

Ahh... marathon of course.
(Wed 3rd Nov 2004, 14:50, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

First Post
A leper walks into a brothel and says to the girl thats out front "look im a leper and no one will shag me, can you help me?" The girl looks at him and says "well so long as one of the girls agrees, but you'll have to pay triple the price." The only girl that will agree to shag him is fugly to say the least but he thinks to himself that this is the best he can hope for. The prostitute leads him to a small room and they get down to it. When he's finished he gets up and gives her the money and on leaving the room he turns and says "you can keep the tip".

First post hope it hasn't already been done.
(Tue 14th Sep 2004, 10:04, More)

» Evidence that you're getting old

Gazchap
Around the same age as you, all those things mentioned annoy the f**k out of me too.

Not sure if it's old age or just that the world is full of twunts.......

Especially hate christmas-how may "best of..." and " All time best (insert theme) compliations " cd's can there be?!?!
(Thu 28th Oct 2004, 13:53, More)