Profile for Tim K:
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- a member for 19 years, 6 months and 21 days
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- has posted 28 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
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» Crap meals out
Family meal
Once went on a big posh family meal to Spud'u'like.
In Cornwall I think.
Maybe Wales.
It was definely raining.
My cousin was asked what he wanted on his spud.
He said chips.
Twunt.
(Thu 27th Apr 2006, 23:40, More)
Family meal
Once went on a big posh family meal to Spud'u'like.
In Cornwall I think.
Maybe Wales.
It was definely raining.
My cousin was asked what he wanted on his spud.
He said chips.
Twunt.
(Thu 27th Apr 2006, 23:40, More)
» Too much information
The taste of spunk
Large group of very pissed lads and lasses talking sex. The lasses turn to the subject of the taste of spunk and the old urban legends that arise from this.
One lass then pipes up with "never mind the taste it hurts like a bitch when you get it in your eyes".
Her boyfriend (now husband) went very red for a pale person. We all bought her safety goggles for their wedding day.
(Thu 6th Sep 2007, 11:08, More)
The taste of spunk
Large group of very pissed lads and lasses talking sex. The lasses turn to the subject of the taste of spunk and the old urban legends that arise from this.
One lass then pipes up with "never mind the taste it hurts like a bitch when you get it in your eyes".
Her boyfriend (now husband) went very red for a pale person. We all bought her safety goggles for their wedding day.
(Thu 6th Sep 2007, 11:08, More)
» Black Sheep
Uncle Rastus
Mum recently got all our old "cine camera" tapes(crap old thing that filmed about 8 seconds of footage with no sound before needing more film)put on video.
My sister watching her own christening inquires as to the origin of the single noticable black fella amoung all recognisable peolpe entering the church to which my dad tells her
"That's Uncle Rastus, he's the black sheep of the family ..... Mum refuses to talk of him"
My sister often talks about how its a shame that we never kept in contact with Uncle Rastus ....... she is now 28.
Apologies for length and to the random bloke that Mum caught on film, I hope he enjoyed the Christening he was attending after ours.
(Sat 15th Jan 2005, 12:21, More)
Uncle Rastus
Mum recently got all our old "cine camera" tapes(crap old thing that filmed about 8 seconds of footage with no sound before needing more film)put on video.
My sister watching her own christening inquires as to the origin of the single noticable black fella amoung all recognisable peolpe entering the church to which my dad tells her
"That's Uncle Rastus, he's the black sheep of the family ..... Mum refuses to talk of him"
My sister often talks about how its a shame that we never kept in contact with Uncle Rastus ....... she is now 28.
Apologies for length and to the random bloke that Mum caught on film, I hope he enjoyed the Christening he was attending after ours.
(Sat 15th Jan 2005, 12:21, More)
» The Dirty Secrets of Your Trade
Lasers
I design and build high power lasers for a living in a lab for a biggish company.
The company is not trying to take over the world, nor is my place of work a hollowed out volcano or a moonbase.
I vary rarely get to see the lasers working due to health and safety (there are always in a locked box when they are on).
I do get a lab coat with my name on it though.
(Thu 27th Sep 2007, 11:11, More)
Lasers
I design and build high power lasers for a living in a lab for a biggish company.
The company is not trying to take over the world, nor is my place of work a hollowed out volcano or a moonbase.
I vary rarely get to see the lasers working due to health and safety (there are always in a locked box when they are on).
I do get a lab coat with my name on it though.
(Thu 27th Sep 2007, 11:11, More)
» Look! It's me in the Local Paper
Giant Dog
My mate Carl is a big lad who likes Cider.
My home town of Ilkley is quite posh and therefore the local Newspaper will publish articles on any old fucking subject that is currently pissing off all the old dears on the parish counsil.
A few years ago there a spell of some bugger letting his giant dog foul a couple of shop doorsteps late at night.
Story was in the paper two weeks running. The police made investigations. There was a parish counsil stake out. Vets were called to identify the dog breed. People still talk about the dog mystery.
Carl says he got caught short two weeks running on the way back from the only nightclub in town (that fucking shithole is another story).
Dirty bastard. We still laugh about that big fucking dog though.
(Sat 12th Feb 2005, 11:29, More)
Giant Dog
My mate Carl is a big lad who likes Cider.
My home town of Ilkley is quite posh and therefore the local Newspaper will publish articles on any old fucking subject that is currently pissing off all the old dears on the parish counsil.
A few years ago there a spell of some bugger letting his giant dog foul a couple of shop doorsteps late at night.
Story was in the paper two weeks running. The police made investigations. There was a parish counsil stake out. Vets were called to identify the dog breed. People still talk about the dog mystery.
Carl says he got caught short two weeks running on the way back from the only nightclub in town (that fucking shithole is another story).
Dirty bastard. We still laugh about that big fucking dog though.
(Sat 12th Feb 2005, 11:29, More)