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Profile for Smoking Joe:
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Really, you must be fucking bored to be looking at this shit. Why not read a book or something, eh?

Either that; or I've said something to piss you off, and you are here looking for ammunition to get back at me, in which case, carry on!

Here's me doing what I do best!



And here's me as drawn by the rather talented Devil Duck; i like this pic muchly...


Hello, here are some quick facts about me

Sex: Male
Residence: Southampton, UK
Occupation: A final year accountancy student(hence high blood pressure!)
Oddities: Very tall, very pedantic, dyslexic
Likes: Motorbikes (see above), animals (in general), the company of good friends, tea drinking, photography, and err lots of cool stuff too...
Dislikes: Mornings, Chavs (also therefore most of Southampton!) , Rain, and nastyness

I'm trying to get to grips with making pics; have only just worked out how to host them so you can see a couple of photos I've taken below (hopefully!)

Arf! Here's the light of my life; look how happy she is to humour me!



Here are a few of my other nice pics of places...








And a few of those gay quiz things...


What Video Game Character Are You? I am Kung Fu Master.I am Kung Fu Master.


I like to be in control of myself. I dislike crowds, especially crowds containing people trying to kill me. Even though I always win, I prefer to avoid fights if possible. What Video Game Character Are You?



What Flavour Are You? Mmm, I am Lemon Flavoured.Mmm, I am Lemon Flavoured.


I am a bit twisted. Expect from me acerbic humour and sharp commentary. While I may seem nasty at first, I'm actually quite good company if I like you, so long as you don't mind a bit of cutting to the chase. What Flavour Are You?


Recent front page messages:


none

Best answers to questions:

» Beautiful Moments

I like this QOTW
best one yet!

Let me add my tale. The moment in question has about two years that prelude it; which we'll whizz through now.

I was working with a girl a few years older than me. Not exactly being sucessful with the ladies, I wrote off my chances which was the best move I ever made, as it made me relax around her.

We worked in a local shop, not exactly taxing or busy, so left us a lot of time to lark about and talk. Used to walk her home every night too, as she lived very close.

Anyway over the first year, we became closer. I wanted so badly to tell her how I felt, but couldn't handle the possibility of rejection. I also kinda knew that once I got with her, that'd be it, and my aspiriations of being some kind of stud would be gone forever.

Unfortunatly, I didn't have the choice. She got with another bloke from work, a complete twat. It all came out at the work Christmas party, and when I saw her put her arm around him in the way I wished she would to me, I could do nothing but run away and hide. (btw; I mean it literally...)

Cue about 9 months of working with them both. Him being a complete fool, I had to listen to how he mistreated her and took her for granted, the bastard.

I went back to uni and only worked weekends, thus seeing neither of them. About two months later, I ran into this girl as she was walking home from the pub alone. I gave her a lift, and we caught up. After I enquired as to how 'he' was, she told me they had broke up. I was so shocked I almost crashed the car, and was obviously trying to be sympathetic whilst hiding my glee!

When I got home she sent me a text, to say thanks, I didn't even know she had my number, so that was a pleasent suprise. Cue us keeping in touch more, with messages flying back and forwards many times each day.

And then the work Christmas Party comes around again. We all go, yet somehow I only remember talking to her the whole night. Being a gossiping crowd, they all start to say to me what a lovely couple we'd be as she went to the bar/toilet.

This carried on for a few hours, and at one moment, she went away and I was surrounded by my other colleges, practically bullying me to do something about it. She came back, and looked nervous, I imagine she had a similar lecture.

Slowly, we edged towards each other, smiling akwardly, but in silence. I tentativly started to outstretch an arm towards her, as if to put it around her waist. I think my heart was beating about three times its normal rate!

Before I knew what happened, she looked up at me in a way no one ever has before. No words were said, or necessary, she just wrapped her arms around me, and held me so tightly.

We just stood there, in the middle of some god-awful club in each others arms. I kissed her forehead and smelt her hair whilst stroking it, absolutly wonderful....

So dear reader, I expect you assume this was my most beautiful moment. Well, its defintly up there. But the one I had in mind happened about a month later.

We woke in each others arms one morning, in that warm, fuzzy glow you only get after sharing a single bed with someone else. Facing each other, both heads on the pillow, she looked at me with her beautiful blue eyes and said:

'I think I love you'

The first time anyone had ever said that to me, and without even thinking about it I spluttered out the same back to her. I then kissed her and held her so tightly, and we both started to cry!

Nothing will ever be topped by that moment, just thinking about it now makes me glow all over.

Thanks for sticking with this rather long story, I hope it was worth the read. Its nice to share such things with strangers....I suggest you all do the same.
(Sat 12th Mar 2005, 17:11, More)

» Premonitions

I have a premonition that next weeks question will be better...



...only time will tell...
(Sun 21st Nov 2004, 18:16, More)

» The last thing that made me cry

Last time I cried
was about four weeks ago, whilst in bed with my girlfriend.

I was feeling annoyingly awake, so I was just there lying on my back as she started to drift off. She had an arm across my chest, and just as she was starting to fall asleep, she gave me a little hug, and told me she loved me.

Having lived a pretty hard life for the last 21 years, finally finding someone who makes me happy beyond all belief is quite an experiance.

Despite being really stressed and over worked (last few months of degree, don't let anyone tell you students [always] have it easy); she never fails to make me smile.

So in the dark, I had a little cry, whilst trying to be quiet so as not to wake her. I live on an emotional rollercoaster I swear....
(Fri 15th Apr 2005, 11:46, More)

» Out of my depth

Out of my depth?!
Yes; I am in a fantasticly deep 10 month relationship with a girl who is in every way perfect for me.

My previous girlfriend experiences never normally last longer than a couple of hours!

Out of my depth? I can't even see the bottom...
(Sat 16th Oct 2004, 16:40, More)

» Little things that turn you on

Ah let me see
Firstly, would be my girlfriend wearing my clothes (especially a t-shirt in the morning, preferably bra-less!)

Soapy Boobs!

Breasts in general, but especially just tantalising glances. Whats especially good, is those little tshirt type things that cover the top of the breast and nipple, and just leave the bottom exposed.

But the best one, is when a girl touches my cock at unexpected moments, and then leave it. Sometimes going as far as a few decent tugs.
Repeat throughout the day, and then finish up with a good, hard shag at the end of the day, preferably in an unusual place.
(Fri 18th Feb 2005, 14:02, More)
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