» I was drunk when I bought this

It must be a Gloucester thing, but
I went out for a 'couple' of gentle scoops of the local fermented apple juice. I woke up in the morning covered in blood, a receipt from 'A1 Escorts' and a new patio.
To this day I don't know what happened but the patio is beginning subside.
(Thu 9th Jun 2005, 13:48, More)

» It's not me, it's the drugs talking

A long and rambling road...
What comes of doing drugs for half your life? A load of half-remembered stories...

To try and summarise the best bits...
First time stoned - under a railway bridge in Oxford, with a couple of friends who were also at OCFE. Nothing happened apart from wanting to eat everything in sight. Yeah right, nothing happened!

First time on acid - a couple of blotters dropped whilst baby sitting. I spent the night after the parents came home sitting on the garden fence, on a bright moonlit night in autumn, looking at the cartoon mother hens in the sky looking down on me. After a while (it could have been 10 minutes, could have been a couple of hours) I went back to my bedroom to listen to some music. Spaceman 3 was no good but the colours in front of my eyes from listening to Mudhoney was amazing! I got bored of that and ended up getting into the carpet.

First time on a black microdot - dropped mid-afternoon on a late summers day. By this time I had been regularly tripping for a year (once every couple of weeks, or so) and thought that I could handle pretty much anything that my mind could throw at me... Coming up, sat in a deckchair in the garden of my Gran’s flat on Royal York Crescent in Bristol, I began to see knights in armour, on horseback, charging across the sky... Even now, 14 years after it occurring there is too much to say, but thats for my mind, not to bore other people stupid with!

My nights on acid or ‘shrooms have been damn strange, nothing comes near! All thats needed is for you (the taker) to be happy and secure in yourself, not like a friend who had a bad trip and spent 8 hours thinking that Pinhead from Hellraiser was out to get him. Not nice!

Coke is over-rated, good speed is more fun and much cheaper. Pills make me talk shit for hours on end, then give me jaw-ache... Squalid solid makes me sleep and skunk makes me stupid!

Remember kids, drugs are fun but if you fuck up, you are solely to blame!

Fuck, I could answer this question so many times over it would be embarrassing / boring!
(Fri 16th Dec 2005, 13:25, More)

» Claims to Fame

Claim to fame
My claim to fame was to make ice cream vans only play their jingle when they had run out of ice cream, circa 1976.


Had to be done ;-)
(Thu 24th Feb 2005, 13:00, More)

» Going Too Far

Back in the day when acid was my drug of choice…
It was a beautiful sunny evening in the Cotswolds, myself and five friends decided that it would be a great evening to have a mellow trip in the fields surrounding Burford. All was going well… lying down, looking at the stars changing colours and making weird patterns in the cloudless sky. But someone was missing…

It turned out that the person who had done the purchasing of the trips didn’t quite have his head screwed on when the deal was done and had basically ingested a bit more than everyone else. He was found sitting in the front room of a mate’s house, not looking like a happy chappy. In moments of lucidity he was saying every leaf in the hedge was like Pinhead from Hellraiser… He also said that some chilled music would be the way forwards, so, on went The Doors. I didn’t have to go as far as to put it on a loop while I carried on tripping outside, nor to finish him off with something from the Butthole Surfers.

Poor Clifford Wattlebush, I wonder what became of him...
(Fri 10th Nov 2006, 15:18, More)

» Evidence that you're getting old

You know when you're getting old when
A haircutting decision is not about style but about 'hiding' the grey hair. Hence why for the past five years I've had a shaved head.


'hence', gives it away as well...
(Thu 28th Oct 2004, 14:00, More)