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Profile for Iki:
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Gunstar Heroes rules.

Recent front page messages:


none

Best answers to questions:

» How nerdy are you?

I know this isn't an image challenge...
...but this is thoroughly appropriate.



Is it frowned upon to post images directly into QOTW answers? I decided I'd play it safe and link for I am not sure.

EDIT: Bugger it, it's only 17kb.
(Sat 8th Mar 2008, 21:01, More)

» Pretentious bollocks

Sort of counts...
People who think they're sophisticated by going to see Shakespeare.

Obviously they don't realise it was written for medieval peasants, most of whom couldn't read. Well done morons, that's very fucking sophisticated.
(Wed 28th Sep 2005, 17:34, More)

» Misunderstood

From the mouths of children
My aunt worked in a primary school for a while, and this was one of her treasured stories. Small child comes up to her and asks the following question; imagine a Scottish accent.

"Miss; am I a homo or a paki?"

Aunt goes into 'wtf' mode for about 3 seconds before she realises what the child means, which turns out to be rather innocent and it's her own twisted brain that brought the wrong thoughts into focus.

The child was asking if she was a home lunch or a packed lunch.

Could've ended in an punishment exercise, dont'cha know. Apologies for odour.
(Fri 7th Oct 2005, 16:01, More)

» Guilty Pleasures

Waving to people...
...who don't realise I have my dick in my hand.
(Thu 7th Apr 2005, 15:52, More)

» Customers from Hell

The number pad is just there because they look pretty
Man walks into bar and asks for a Coke.

Man is told it's cheaper from nearby vending machines.

Man goes away and comes back to me (I may be staff, but I'm nowhere near the sodding things) and claims the machine isn't working and I'm going to pay dearly for it. (somehow)

Man is asked how he went about procuring his caffeinated prize from the machine's metallic clutches.

Man claims he 'put in the money, pressed A and nothing happened'.

Man is asked why he didn't press a number as well as a letter, for the vending machine takes a letter and a number corresponding to row and column, respectively.

Confused face.

Methodology is explained again.

Confused face. Estimate a 2% chance he was just constipated.

Man is told to go back and type in a number as well as a letter; that row only has one beverage on it anyway.

Man says he'll be back to apologise if it works or complain if it doesn't

He doesn't come back. The lying little cockwaffle.
(Thu 4th Sep 2008, 22:27, More)
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