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Profile for Billy Sastard:
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29 year old (and staying that age, not turning 30 with grace) male from Lanarkshire in Scotland. Living with me younger burd after getting rid of moaning faced git of a wife and life is soooooooo much better now.

Work as an IT bod in a college and get to ogle student nurses all day.

Hurrah for early mid-life crisis's, just need the harley now.

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Work Experience

had to share with you
I know its meant to be about my work exerience but since mine was stuck in a lawnmower repair place it would make a bit of a crap story.

On the other hand we have a workie in with us just now how made life a tad more interesting last week. We had sent him down to the canteen to put a new PC in the office there. He was bored waiting for the PC to load so as you do started looking about. He found a button on the desk and thought he would give it a press. Nothing happened. He pressed again and a couple more times for luck. Just over five minutes passed and then the door was flung open and the room filled with burly police officers. The cheeky wee workie scamp had only been battering away on the silent alarm. Canteen ladies took pity on him and talked the large men out of battering him to a pulp.

Not seen him press to much this week.

Size - his shrunk with fear!
(Mon 14th May 2007, 16:33, More)

» Beautiful Moments

I feel I may weep with joy.
This is the best question in the history of qotw.

I had just left my wife (bad start, but stick with it) Just got back to my parents house and within a couple of hours had phoned and was meeting the most wonderful woman in the world. I had loved her from afar for ages, but being married, never did anything. She had felt the same way, but me being married, I was out of bounds. I phoned her for a shoulder to cry on so to speak as we were best mates and neither of us knew our love for each other. We met up that night and went for a walk round strathclyde park to talk. Just wee things started to click, then as we walked round the loch, started to hold hands. Then stopped and kissed. Everything in the world stopped. The moon was full. Nothing mattered any longer. The background noise faded away and I knew then that I had found true love and happyness. Two years later we are still as madly in love and sickening to watch. Everytime I see a full moon I think of the night I got together with the woman of my dreams and have a "moment"

Sorry for inducing vomit amongst you all, but after reading some of these I was compelled to reply.
(Sat 12th Mar 2005, 21:30, More)

» Little things that turn you on

Its just a wee thing
Having a donkey in a gimp mask and straw hat eating grass and hay out my arse that I placed there for it while I fwap away over my GF's lady bits.

Its hardly anything. Infact I feel a bit stupid having wasted your time with it.

(Tue 22nd Feb 2005, 15:43, More)

» That's when I knew it was over...

Time to leave
Worked as a receptionist at night for an out of hours Doctors service.

Had been held at knife knife point in my second week by a guy looking for methadone.

Had a woman collapse in the waiting room while we were alone and stop breathing, when the Dr finally came through he words were "call an ambulance and get her the fuck out".

But it was when someone placed a bag on the counter and asked if the Dr could look at it, that I thought enough was enough. It was a plastic bag filled with, again in the ladies own words, "a blood clot the size and shape of a cows kidney". This had been discharged after her grand-daughter hadn't had a period for three months. The smell was increadible and how the hell does she know what size and shape a cows kidney is.

There were others but I'll only end up crying at the stupidity of some people in this world.
(Thu 21st Jul 2005, 13:02, More)

» Walkman Flashbacks

REM - everybody hurts
Everytime I hear this song or drive on a certain part of a motorway up near Perth, I always think of my best mate. He had called me at work in great distress saying that he couldn't go on and that he was ending it. Drove like a looney from Glasgow to Aberdeen to try and get there and stop him, wondering what the hell I was going to find when I got there. Anyway to cut a long story, made it in time and was driving him back to glasgow, when this song came on. Didn't think it was the best song he could hear at the time, but how do you change the station if he is thinking the same thing. Always think of those mad 24 hours now when I hear it.
(Mon 28th Mar 2005, 1:22, More)
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