» Near Death Experiences

White Spirit
A long time ago I suddenly felt I needed to know what white spirit tasted like. It tastes like months in hospital and the American Poison Department being flown in. That, and lemonade.
(Fri 26th Nov 2004, 15:12, More)

» Your Weirdest Teacher

If music be the food of love...
A note to my old music teacher; screaming 'FUCK!' and 'SHIT!' in the middle of a concert performance just isn't cricket.
(Wed 16th Nov 2005, 0:30, More)

» Essential Items

Pimp My Tweezers
I always have to carry around a pair of tweezers; never to tweeze anything, usually just to play them like micro-castanets. The rest of my family tolerate this, but won't let me carry the ones with the gold plated tips. They're too hizzle for mah fizzles, 'parrently. Plus tweezers in my possession tend to 'dissapear' or have 'accidents' [/mafioso]
(Wed 2nd Nov 2005, 3:51, More)

» Your Weirdest Teacher

Pisshead.
My geography teacher. A blatant alcoholic, ginger fuzz all over the place. For the last few weeks before my GCSEs the class had been doing a project on pebbles. Gripping stuff, yet for some reason I was consistently getting warnings about the shoddy nature of my work. In the end, a few days before my final exams, I see my teacher after class to sort things out. I find him there, obviously pissed, deleting things from my project on the schools computers with abandon. A brief argument, finishing with "I didn't come hear to listen to this" from me and "I'll see you won't get your Geography GCSE" from him and that was it. A few days later, when I got my B for Geography, it's hardly surprising he won't see me.
(Tue 15th Nov 2005, 18:45, More)

» Petty Sabotage

What Smells?
My dad pisses me off. I know that if he dies my mortgage gets paid off and I get £300 a week. However, my conscience put me off topping him. I pissed in his bed instead, and now gob in it every new time he annoys me.

Bastard.
(Wed 4th May 2005, 21:35, More)