» Family Feuds

I haven't spoken to my grandma in six years...
...not surprising really, she's dead.
(Wed 18th Nov 2009, 16:37, More)

» Shame

Raised to seize the opportunity.....
....I'd speak my mind from an early age. So at the tender age of 5, in a bog-standard P.E lesson, whilst the class paused from the standardised running pointlessly in a circle in plimsoles (as endorsed by the government) we were asked by the teacher "Does anyone know the long name for your bottom?".
Quick as a flash an eager, young me raises his hand and exhales "The Vagina". I swear to God I have no idea where it came from... the worse thing was... probably neither did any of the girls.... DW
(Thu 24th Nov 2005, 22:49, More)

» Childhood Ambitions

An actor!
but I'm too ugly, talentless and ginger to go anywhere...
mind you, Chris Evans...
(Wed 4th Apr 2007, 3:23, More)

» The Worst Journey in the World

Worst Journey ever?
Driving into London for the first time ever, getting stopped by some silly f**ker trying to clean my windscreen, driving off, taking three corners to get the bugger off my bonnet, cleaning window cleaners sick off the windscreen.
(Sat 9th Sep 2006, 23:14, More)

» Shame

Whilst on the subject......
I once, accidentally, accused the guy accross the road of wearing womens underwear, in front of his brother, and his eight year old son. We don't speak to him much now.... DW
(Thu 24th Nov 2005, 22:52, More)