Profile for Green Spanner:

Hello. I'm Green Spanner. I make simplistic stuff to compensate for my excessive lack of talent.
I live in thevery south of England (Portsmouth London to be exact), though I have a father who lives in Philadelphia.
My real name, age and appearance are secrets. It's more fun to make you all guess.
OH SHIT! NobbyNobody and Bovine have seen me in person! They know! THEY KNOW!
Disregard that: I went to a bash, and now a few people know what I look like.
One time I walked from Mile End to Knightsbridge and back, on a 15 mile whistle-stop tour of London that has been dubbed "Epic Walk" (by me mostly). You can simulate the feeling of it by getting two friends, having one smack your lower body with a cricket back and the other running sandpaper against your feet.
You'll feel exactly the same as I did the next day. Trust me.

I reached 1000 posts after 3 years and 3 months! (NOT A LURKER IN ANY WAY)
By contrast, I reached 1500 in 3 years, 4 months and 6 days. Here is what I made for this momentous milestone of posts:


And I reached 2000 posts after 3 years, 4 months and 12 days!
Below is a selection of comics to give you an idea of theshit crap stuff I make (click all of them for bigness):
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And so on.
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
[read all their answers]
- a member for 4 years, 11 months and 29 days
- it's my b3ta birthday!
- has posted 2461 messages on the main board
- has posted 2 messages on the talk board
- has posted 61 messages on the links board
- has posted 47 stories and 4 replies on question of the week
- They liked 376 pictures, 51 links, 0 talk posts, and 18 qotw answers.
- Ignore this user
- Add this user as a friend
- send me a message

Hello. I'm Green Spanner. I make simplistic stuff to compensate for my excessive lack of talent.
I live in the
Disregard that: I went to a bash, and now a few people know what I look like.
One time I walked from Mile End to Knightsbridge and back, on a 15 mile whistle-stop tour of London that has been dubbed "Epic Walk" (by me mostly). You can simulate the feeling of it by getting two friends, having one smack your lower body with a cricket back and the other running sandpaper against your feet.
You'll feel exactly the same as I did the next day. Trust me.

I reached 1000 posts after 3 years and 3 months! (NOT A LURKER IN ANY WAY)
By contrast, I reached 1500 in 3 years, 4 months and 6 days. Here is what I made for this momentous milestone of posts:


And I reached 2000 posts after 3 years, 4 months and 12 days!
Below is a selection of comics to give you an idea of the
.gif)




And so on.
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» Scary Neighbours
Not scary...
Both my neighbors, left AND right are called Frank. Both of them. I call them Alpha frank and Beta Frank.
That's really not scary though.
(Tue 30th Aug 2005, 20:20, More)
Not scary...
Both my neighbors, left AND right are called Frank. Both of them. I call them Alpha frank and Beta Frank.
That's really not scary though.
(Tue 30th Aug 2005, 20:20, More)
» I just don't get it
Jehovas witnesses
If their religion is so great, why do they have to go door to door persuading people to join them?
(Sat 2nd Apr 2005, 20:41, More)
Jehovas witnesses
If their religion is so great, why do they have to go door to door persuading people to join them?
(Sat 2nd Apr 2005, 20:41, More)
» Get Rich Quick
I'm sure I've already posted this at some point...
...but a friend of mine when we were younger once went up to a smaller child who had a pound coin.
"I'll swap my shiny 50p for your dull 1 pound..."
Totally worked. 50p in the black.
(Thu 31st Jul 2008, 20:47, More)
I'm sure I've already posted this at some point...
...but a friend of mine when we were younger once went up to a smaller child who had a pound coin.
"I'll swap my shiny 50p for your dull 1 pound..."
Totally worked. 50p in the black.
(Thu 31st Jul 2008, 20:47, More)
» Accidental animal cruelty
Not directly cruel...
My dad, after marrying his second and current wife (who bought my love with the best damn meatballs I've ever had in my gaddamn life)came into possesion of an incredibly hairy dog.
Once, he poured himself out a glass of beer, but left it precariously on a low coffee table whilst he went off to do other things.
When he returned, the glass was on the floor, but no beer could be seen.
The dog was apparently "acting funny" and "having trouble standing up" for the rest of the night.
The next morning, said dog was so hungover he stuck his head under their bed for most of the day, not moving, probably vowing never to drink again...
...but this happened a second time months later.
(Thu 6th Dec 2007, 13:43, More)
Not directly cruel...
My dad, after marrying his second and current wife (who bought my love with the best damn meatballs I've ever had in my gaddamn life)came into possesion of an incredibly hairy dog.
Once, he poured himself out a glass of beer, but left it precariously on a low coffee table whilst he went off to do other things.
When he returned, the glass was on the floor, but no beer could be seen.
The dog was apparently "acting funny" and "having trouble standing up" for the rest of the night.
The next morning, said dog was so hungover he stuck his head under their bed for most of the day, not moving, probably vowing never to drink again...
...but this happened a second time months later.
(Thu 6th Dec 2007, 13:43, More)