» Office Christmas Parties

'Charity' collection
Well last year my boss decided to have a collection tin saying he was donating it to charity in the name of Christmas I put in about £100 or so as I was a bit off my head on free champagne.

All in all he must have had a few thousand as we are in a big office and everyone was feeling generous.

Somehow the next week a few days before Christmas he got a brand new Rolex watch which he got from his 'sister'.

Much to my amusment he broke it the next day without any insurance, after getting completly hammered and falling down the stairs.

/We found out the next year he had spent the money from the collection on it. He still hasn't paid me back... Well he hasn't got a job to get any, HA...
(Thu 16th Dec 2004, 18:54, More)

» Near Death Experiences

Two for the price of one!
We were merrily going along on the canal boat my family used to rent every so often, when we decided to get off to go and see the "sites" of one of the many towns we passed.

But while getting off the small connection between me and the bank decided to give way and drop me straight into the murky depths (of about 4 foot) below. Me being only 5 I couldn't swim and sank like a brick to the bottom.

I blacked out because all I remember is some guy giving me CPR and a crowd around me. To my suprise i found out that my 85 year old grandfather saw me fall and dived in to save me, only to black out himself by hitting the his head in the shallow waters. So at least I had someone to retell the tale with to my friends.

No apologies for length as that just makes it longer. First post yay!
(Tue 30th Nov 2004, 21:37, More)

» Near Death Experiences

Damned bridges
Just remembered another one, on a subsequent canal trip when I was about 10 I decided that I couldn't be bothered to take the easy way to the other side of the boat, but, instead go around the outside on the small outcrop (about 4 inches) but me being stupid old me again didn't look very far ahead only to see as i was half way along a bridge coming into view.

Cut to me pissing myself at my on coming demise.

But out of nowhere my grandfather (then 90!) grabbed me by my jumper and pulled me just clear of the bridge. I escaped with just cut knees and a bruised pride. I never did go around the edge again.

Of course it never came to me to jump onto the bank 2 foot away, then rejoin the boat on the other side of the bridge.....
(Tue 30th Nov 2004, 21:46, More)

» How I Skive Off Work

yay to long hair
I have quite long hair, so whenever I get bored of class I just put my hair in front of my eyes and go to sleep.

Bwahahaha they'll never know.
(Mon 2nd May 2005, 14:00, More)

» Childhood bad taste

Urm....
When I was younger I bought my first single.... it was... Venga Boys with the crappy boom boom song, luckily I have now burnt the disk with great happiness.

Just thinking about it makes me shudder even today....
(Sun 12th Dec 2004, 16:29, More)