» Stupid Tourists

Nuff said........
Doing an English Civil War re-enactment a few years ago........ A mate of mine is doing some carpentry, bashing a few nails into some timber. An American woman comes up to him and says.....

'They didn't have nails in the 17th century'
'What do you mean'?
'They didn't have nails, i read it in a book somewhere'
'Oh right.. I think you'll find they had nains somewhat earlier than the 17th century'.
'How do you know'?
'Do you think they tied Jesus to the fucking cross'?

Exit one speechless tourist.
(Sun 10th Jul 2005, 12:36, More)

» Stupid Tourists

Another battle...
Overheard this in a gents lavvy in Somerset...

A yank tourist and a REAL yokel type stood at the urinals....
The old yokel finshes his piss, shakes the drops off and puts the old fellah away...

'Gee, don't you wash your hands'?
'Us 'ere don't piss on us 'ands'

I nearly pissed on my hands laughing.
(Sun 10th Jul 2005, 12:40, More)

» Pure Ignorance

Christ almighty
Being a battle re-enactor of many years, you get to hear some of the best ones from the public........

'Did they have babies/fruit/meat/leather etc. in the 17th century'?



Mancunian...'What's that'? pointing at a 16 foot long sharpened weapon

Tony (one of our lads) 'It's a pike'

Mancunian...'What's that one'?

Tony....'That's a Halberd'

Mancunian..'Why are all your weapons named after fish'?




An American tourist was watching one of our lot (a carpenter) bashing a few nails into some timber.....

'Gee, they didn't have nails in the 17th Century, i read it in a book back home'.

'Sorry love, i think you'll find they had nails a long time before that'.

'Really? How do you know?.

'You think they tied Jesus to the fucking cross?!!

Exit one know it all tourist.
(Wed 12th Jan 2005, 20:24, More)

» Beautiful Moments

best moment ever..........
Waking up after a particularly horrific shunt on the bike. A driver pulled out on me and i slammed into a set of cast iron railings. Waking up in Hospital to find a multitude of stiches and surgical splints........ The most beautiful moment was the words.....'Don't worry, we won't have to take the arm off'. Bloody fantastic!
(Mon 14th Mar 2005, 20:54, More)

» Pure Ignorance

Chatrooms.....
A couple of years ago in an AO Hell american chatroom...

Redneck.......'So where are you from dude?'

Me............'The UK'.

Redneck.......'You commie pinko bastard!'

Me............'What?'

redneck........'rant rant grrrrrrr etc'

Thie tirade of abuse went on for a while....buggered if i could understand why he thought that being from the UK could possibly be considered communist.

Finally another room member decided to tell him..... UK means the United Kingdom, Not the Ukraine!!!........ What a numpty!
(Thu 13th Jan 2005, 20:10, More)