» Bullshit and Bullshitters

I think my greatest, shall we say, 'bon mot'
was convincing a number of otherwise reasonable and intelligent people (some of whom - get this - had actually been to university) that the first time I ever masturbated was in the reading room of Huddersfield Public Library*, and also that this was the last time I ever masturbated as well**.


But generally I am but an honest and humble soul, thusly I do not lie, nor do I proffer the shit of the bull. I make up bollocks all the time, mind, so by own estimations I am the greatest larcenist and arsonist that Maidenhead has ever known (and frankly, the town needs it***)





* Looks like this is the QOTW I've been waiting for.
** This bit might not be.
*** See *.
(Fri 14th Jan 2011, 19:57, More)

» Rubbish Towns

I live in Brixton
and I fucking love it. Wait - have I misunderstood the question?
(Thu 29th Oct 2009, 21:19, More)

» Teenage Crushes - Part Two

The lovely, smiling frontage
of Emma Jones from 'The Pyjama Party' set my heart ablaze as a sallow and lonesome teen; I had nothing better to do of a late night than watch ITV and it was there, not so many years ago, that I was set all agog by the warm and charming sundries of a presenter who was neither Claudia Winkleman or Katie Puckrick.

Most of you probably won't know or remember her; she has a depressingly low presence on the tube of you, but I found her here - she's to the right, as you watch, of the ever splendid Tori Amos, saying nothing, so as not to spoil the illusion:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwUzZWNDZ48

She soiled many a pristine and innocent dream many years ago, so she did. However, she's not the reason I bashed one out in the reading room of Huddersfield public library, but that's for another QOTW, to be sure.
(Thu 5th Nov 2009, 21:57, More)

» Rubbish Towns

Whisky, deep fried mars bars and lasses with lovely accents
These are some things which make Fife great. What doesn't make it great, however, is Glenrothes.

These are some of the highlights:
www.undiscoveredscotland.co.uk/glenrothes/glenrothes/images/glenrothes-450.jpg
(The photographer here has been very clever here because he has taken this photo on the one day of the year when the sun actually shines and so it looks 99.71% less shit than it would usually.)

www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/grahamstewart/glenrothes.jpg
(This is from a BBC report on how Glenrothes this year won the Carbuncle award this year:
www.thecarbuncles.co.uk/)
files.stv.tv/img/articles/72872-and-the-loser-isglenrothes-200.jpg
s0.geograph.org.uk/photos/18/78/187889_b8da8d05.jpg
farm2.static.flickr.com/1259/816457462_e82b0d5971_m.jpg
farm1.static.flickr.com/35/108617348_c48f12c07b_m.jpg
(I dare you to look at the links above and *not* want to kill yourself)

There are a couple of redeeming feature of the town, mind:
www.theatresonline.com/theatres/glenrothes-theatres/rothes-halls/images/rothes-halls.jpg

And this:
www.undiscoveredscotland.co.uk/glenrothes/glenrothes/images/busstation.jpg
(If you happen to be a tramp looking for a place to kip, piss, do a dump or harangue the tourist.)

It appears that Fife towns have been featured quite a lot in this QOTW; for some reason, Fife Council deigned to build a job-lot of shit-holes in the 60s and 70s, seemingly unaware that grey concrete + grey skies = heroin addiction + heart disease + suicide. Och, well, gotta love 'em.
(Tue 3rd Nov 2009, 0:38, More)