» Heckles

Audience participation
We have a local comedy store at the nearby theatre every month. This guy went without fail every month and for some unknown reason, always sat in the front middle seats. If you sit there, your bound to get abused! Especially if you are built like he was - absolutly massive bulldog sort of a guy. The first time he got heckled he got asked his name (Rob) and his job (Nurse) and the comedian had a whale of a time with him.

Roll forward a month and he gets heckled again. When asked his name, a handful of people should 'Rob' and when asked what he does, same people yell 'Nurse'. Cue lots of laughter. Next month, The comedian asks him his name and literally, the whole theatre should 'ROB'! 'What do you do?' 'HE'S A NURSE'

The comedian just looked scared.

I guess you had to be there.
(Sat 8th Apr 2006, 12:00, More)

» In the Army Now - The joy of the Armed Forces

At the age of 13...
i, polished boots in hand, skipped to my local TA centre and became a army cadet. Best time of my life! I was the only girl and so the guys became very protective over me. Even the sergeant would hurl me into his office to give me fatherly advice. The majority of the time was spent climbing trees, rolling around in mud and shooting guns. Exactly what all 13 year old girls love!

On one occasion, we all went to a local dog show on a camp site in order to help out. There are too many stories from that weekend to post but the most memorable (for other people, i cant remember it at all) was playing on the assualt course. There was a zip wire. Instead of going down it the normal way, the guys were clinging on to it with their hands and legs and being swung round by about 70 other cadets. I decided to have a go but was told it wasnt safe for a girl. Ha! i think.. ill show them. I lasted about 30 seconds before i flew 20 feet into the air and then clipped the wire on the way down and landed on my head. I didn't remember the date or what school i went to for a few hours and ended up with concussion. Good times!!

How i miss that place.
(Fri 24th Mar 2006, 0:06, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

Why did Hitler kill himself?
He got the gas bill.
(Thu 9th Feb 2006, 22:16, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

Probably already posted..
George Best's consultant runs up to him and says.. *panting* "George, thank gos i've found you. I have good news and bad news." George thinks for a moment and says "Bad news first" "You have an hour to live" replies the consultant. After a moment, George regains his composure and asks "Well, whats the good news then?!" "Its happy hour"

*Thrusts*
(Tue 6th Dec 2005, 16:00, More)

» Your Weirdest Teacher

So many schools, so little time...
I have had many weird teachers, but nothing in camparison to the monkeys that you guys have endured! There are two though, that i feel should be mentioned.

Mr Mole - An IT teacher who was worryingly, very mole-like. He was HUGE and ginger and had a voice that obiously hadnt broken. He had really tiny facial features though and looked like a massive ginger rat. He had a tendency to cry, and therefore jiggle, if you said anything vaguely mean to him.

Mr Johnson - a PE teacher with a terrifying temper. I once went on a school ski trip with him and my friend was on the phone to her parents and therefore was 10 minutes late to bed... BIG MISTAKE... He came up to our room and dragged her out. The whole hotel heard him telling her that she was 'scum of the earth', 'disgraceful', 'an embarrassment to humans' and to 'never ever dare look him in the eye again'. She cried out of pure shock. I think he got a good telling to but it didnt stop him from doing this;

newswww.bbc.net.uk/1/hi/england/wear/2984002.stm
(Tue 15th Nov 2005, 23:27, More)