Profile for Arty Morty:
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- a member for 19 years, 2 months and 20 days
- has posted 0 messages on the main board
- has posted 0 messages on the talk board
- has posted 0 messages on the links board
- has posted 4 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
- They liked 0 pictures, 0 links, 0 talk posts, and 2 qotw answers.
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Recent front page messages:
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Best answers to questions:
» When I met the parents
When I met the parents
I'd been seeing this Irish bird for about 6 months and had never met her parents. Now I'm not white but being born and brought up in London you could never tell on the phone. Her old man, Larry, and me used to have great chats on the phone and were getting on really well. Then the bird asked me to go round to meet her folks. I walked into the front room and poor old Larry almost went into cardiac arrest. "Quick. There's a darkie in the house! Call the police". Our first meeting but not the last, unfortunately. After that, she was banned from my house, if I went to see her we had to sit in her parents front room drinking tea. Her mum even had one of their neighbours follow us for a few weeks to make sure we weren't getting up to anything. Well you pair of miserable fuckers, not only was I her 'first', but I nailed her in the Planeterium on Baker Street, Kew Gardens, in a boat on the Ally Pally boating lake and in my Cortina MKIII. Hah! Bitch left me for a copper.
(Mon 23rd May 2005, 10:43, More)
When I met the parents
I'd been seeing this Irish bird for about 6 months and had never met her parents. Now I'm not white but being born and brought up in London you could never tell on the phone. Her old man, Larry, and me used to have great chats on the phone and were getting on really well. Then the bird asked me to go round to meet her folks. I walked into the front room and poor old Larry almost went into cardiac arrest. "Quick. There's a darkie in the house! Call the police". Our first meeting but not the last, unfortunately. After that, she was banned from my house, if I went to see her we had to sit in her parents front room drinking tea. Her mum even had one of their neighbours follow us for a few weeks to make sure we weren't getting up to anything. Well you pair of miserable fuckers, not only was I her 'first', but I nailed her in the Planeterium on Baker Street, Kew Gardens, in a boat on the Ally Pally boating lake and in my Cortina MKIII. Hah! Bitch left me for a copper.
(Mon 23rd May 2005, 10:43, More)
» I'm an expert
I'm an expert at
doing dumps that leave me incapable of walking for a good ten minutes.
(Fri 24th Jun 2005, 10:25, More)
I'm an expert at
doing dumps that leave me incapable of walking for a good ten minutes.
(Fri 24th Jun 2005, 10:25, More)
» Hidden Treasure
Hidden Treasure
When I was about 12, a mate of mine found a biscuit tin full of ten and twenty pound notes. Hundreds of quid. Just lying there it was, in the tin, under loads of clothes at the bottom of the people in flat upstairs locked wardrobe. If that isn't asking to be had, I don't know what is.
(Fri 1st Jul 2005, 15:05, More)
Hidden Treasure
When I was about 12, a mate of mine found a biscuit tin full of ten and twenty pound notes. Hundreds of quid. Just lying there it was, in the tin, under loads of clothes at the bottom of the people in flat upstairs locked wardrobe. If that isn't asking to be had, I don't know what is.
(Fri 1st Jul 2005, 15:05, More)
» Now, there was no need for that...
Eastenders
That poor fucker the priest. Well he used to be on it and I ran into him at White Hart Lane and spent 10 minutes convincing him that he was in fact a bloke I knew called Phil. He looked very scared as I got angrier at his failure to recall my various anecdotes.
The give away was my two mates pissing themselves at my slow and painful realisation that perhaps he wasn't Phil.
(Mon 20th Jun 2005, 15:59, More)
Eastenders
That poor fucker the priest. Well he used to be on it and I ran into him at White Hart Lane and spent 10 minutes convincing him that he was in fact a bloke I knew called Phil. He looked very scared as I got angrier at his failure to recall my various anecdotes.
The give away was my two mates pissing themselves at my slow and painful realisation that perhaps he wasn't Phil.
(Mon 20th Jun 2005, 15:59, More)