» Scars with history

This put me off girls for life.
So I'm 12 years old, snogging with my first girlfriend behind the gym after school. She is quite a bit taller than me and I am getting a bit of a crick in my neck from having to crane upwards. I come up for air and a stretch and realise my shoe is undone. I bend down to tie it up and we continue chatting about whether we should go and hang around by the swings or whether we should go back to hers for some serious snogging. I tell her that we should go down to the park and she can push me on the swing for a bit (I was little, and she was a lot more muscly than I).

She gets faux-indignant at this reversal of the usual male/female roles and "taps" (her words) me on the forehead, causing me to overbalance and put my hand behind me, right on to a broken bottle, which slices a 2inch gash in my hand, severing the nerves to two fingers and the tendon to one.
I stare down at the blood pulsing from this gaping wound and cry, "you BITCH, it's over!" before running across the road in a bit of a blind panic and into a shop that sold venetian blinds (and was conveniently owned by my dad's mate).

Cue Dad rushing home from work to take me to hospital and me having to get undressed in front of a male nurse and getting a bit of a stiffy.
Ah yes. That was the day I first started to realise I might be a bummer.

Anyway - I ended the evening by having surgery on my hand to reattach the tendon and nerves. Didn't get much sleep though as
1) I was slightly concerned about my gay indicating erection
2) the kid in the bed next to me was screaming all night due to the pain caused by his having no legs anymore (he and his scally friends had been playing on the merseyrail line and his legs had been sliced off by a passing train. Ouch).

Ended up with a 2 inch scar along the right palm and my hand was wrapped up in bandages for weeks. So not only was I gradually realising I fancied boys, I couldn't even wank to celebrate. Arse.
(Wed 9th Feb 2005, 14:45, More)

» The last thing that made me cry

Deep Impact
Yes, the film. Several points:
1) Where Tea Leoni gives up her seat on the chopper taking her to safety to Keery Weaver off ER and her baby.
2) Where the blinded astronaut "sees" his new baby son just before the entire crew sacrifices themselves to save the earth.
3) Where Tea Leoni goes to see her Dad on the beach and forgives him for leaving her mother, just before they are engulfed by the tsunami.

I'm a 25 man.
(Fri 15th Apr 2005, 10:38, More)

» Claims to Fame

ooh - crapness
where do I start? I've...
appeared as an extra in hollyoaks and brookie loads of times
met Jon Pertwee dressed up as Worzel Gummidge at the International Garden Festival in Liverpool in 1984
met the guy who played Mr Bronson in Grange Hill
been out with Catherine Zeta-Jones' cousin (before I realised I was gay...)

ooh - Lord of the Pies just said he went to school with C Z-J's cousin. Was it the same girl? On the Isle of Wight?

And...
one of my good friends presents Newsround on the CBBC channel
my Mum went to Sean Connery's first wedding, as she went to Ipswich Girls' Grammar with her (in Ipswich, Queensland)
my boyfriend's friend's stepdad is the German officer in "the Last Crusade" who is beating Harrison Ford and shouts "I will take ze Diary! It is in your pocket!"

Edit: ooh forgot these ones
I was on moviewatch once. Had to watch The Postman, which was fucking awful.
And I went to college with Ros Pike, who played Miranda Frost in Die Another Day
and I've met the PM and Ministers and MPs loads of time. But that doesn't count, because it was my job.
(Fri 25th Feb 2005, 9:17, More)