» Child Labour

Tranny shoes
My first "job" while I was at school was working in Timpsons selling shoes in the early '80s. For some reason I was put in the ladies department and on the day I started I was told by the manager that we sold shoes to the TV market. Being only 15 and rather niaive, I thought this was something to do with the branch of Currys up the road.

Imagine my surprise being asked by a 6 foot "lady" with a five o'clock shadow for "black court shoes - size 10". Normally, fitting a shoe for a lady involved a numerous furtive glances at their underwear (i was a hormonal teenager remember) - not this time - I was confronted by a pair of rather hairy legs surmounted by a pair of equally hairy bollocks as he/she lifted his/her leg onto the stool to be measured.

Now I feel physically sick every time I see the bad trannies on Little Britain......
(Tue 21st Feb 2006, 14:14, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

Apparently
Paul McCartney has bought his wife a plane for Christmas;





And a razor for the other leg!
(Tue 6th Dec 2005, 17:02, More)

» Unemployed

Getting my own back....
Last August the company I was working for decided that they needed to reduce the size of their sales team. I hadn't been there for long (but over a year so I had some rights) so I was first in line for redundancy. I had a chat with the boss and asked if they would be increasing the size of the sales team when the downturn came to and end. "Sure we will" came the response", "would you be interested in coming back?"

Well, obviously not but if they made me redundant at that point, they would not be able to back fill my role later on down the line - for those who know their HR law, it's the job you make redundant not the person.

Oh, what were they going to do???? Well, there's only one option, I told them. you'll have to offer me a compromise agreement, then I'll go quietly and not take them to a tribunal. And I want a decent wedge of cash to make it worth my while. Well, had they made me redundant I would have come out with about 2 weeks pay, instead I left with a signed agreement not to sue them and a tax free payment of £7500 in the bank...

3 weeks later I had set up my own company in competition with them and at the moment I'm poaching their staff with two of my old colleagues starting next week! Result!

And as we provide payroll services to contractors,and as more people are recruiting contractors than permanent staff, the business is growing very quickly. Double result!!

Just shows you though, when you lose your job it can seem like the end of the world but sometimes it's just what you need to give you a reason to go and do what you REALLY want to do.
(Fri 3rd Apr 2009, 12:38, More)

» Stuff I've found

A shiny watch
I found an Omega Seamaster (worth about £3k) on the beach in Southport. Handed it in to the local plod and claimed it as my own 3 months later.

I wear it every day though I do still worry someone might accuse me of stealing it.

It's 1:54pm
(Thu 6th Nov 2008, 13:55, More)

» Guilty Pleasures

Free pick 'n mix
Just the odd one from Woolworths while no-one's looking.

Hardly a major crime but satisfying non the less


Oh, and turning my cat's ears inside out - makes her look even cuter!
(Thu 7th Apr 2005, 10:43, More)