» Cheating cheaty cheats

never cheated myself... but check out this guy
www.boombleflock.org/cheat
(Thu 17th Nov 2005, 14:18, More)

» Your Weirdest Teacher

I just remembered
I'm studying at the moment. At one of those learning houses.
Anyway. This lecturer. For calculus.


Brilliant man.
Most amazing explanations of even the most complicated mathematical concepts, making them seem childsplay.


WEIRD.
Would often invent technical terms for ordinary activities. Taking off his sweater: rearranging thermal absorption materials for optimal operating conditions. Jiggling the projector to get our attention: a bit of photonic agitation stimulus. Exams: the November experience (always).

Apparently used to write things really small, then draw a magnifying glass and inside write the same thing in larger writing.

Would refer to variables as characters, and their relationships and order of importance with social relationships... "Now normally x is getting all the action, with poor little y being the dependent variable. But since this is not integratable, y finally gets its chance to shine, and x has to crawl away and do as y says."

Was trying to get some major astronomical theory he devised approved by the world of science. Every now and then he would give us updates on new evidence that proved he was right and all those fools who doubted him were wrong.

And throw into this mix the odd reference to fruit in diagrams, accompanied with the proper adjustments to make it look more like the fruit he had in mind, without any relevance.

People like this make me want to teach.
(Wed 9th Nov 2005, 15:04, More)

» Have you ever paid for sex?

I paid for a condom once.
Still haven't gotten around to using it though.
(Fri 20th Jan 2006, 0:09, More)

» Putting the Fun in Funeral

The rise of the zombies.
I'm a serial killer.

So last summer I'm walking around on the streets looking for someone to do in. I find a young lady walking in a dark alley, and figuring I've hit jackpot, I move in for the kill. So it turns out she knows how to defend herself or something. I vaguelly remember getting the shit beaten out of me.

Then she ran away, and of course left me in my unconscious state, lying in a strange dark alley. After a while some rats start eating me. I was found in the morning with six broken ribs, a fractured skull, and a large hole in my abdomen where rats had fed on my innards (they were hungry). I was, of course, dead.

Being a serial killer, I didn't have many friends. I made it to my own funeral to see a spectacularily low turnout. A few distant relatives, the priest dude, and some randoms.

It goes about in it's usual fashion, and I am lowered into a grave. Now, for those of you who are not aware, god is dead, so instead of my soul finding heaven (god likes serial killers, read the Bible doofus), it is stuck in my decaying body. Damn.

I'm lying there for a few weeks gradually losing more and more of my wonderful body to various grave-dwelling body-eating things. Then all of a sudden, I hear a voice. A voice telling me to cast down the shackles of the afterlife and rejoin my body. I figure, why the hell not, lying in this coffin is getting pretty boring. With a sudden unexpected strength I break through the top of the coffin and start digging up through the earth.

My hand finally breaking the surface, I use it to pull the rest of myself up. In front of me I see the young lady who led to my death, wearing strange robes and chanting from a big scary book. I decided that revenge was in order so I slowly walked up to her and then took a big bite out of her head, breaking her skull to get to the brains underneath. It turns out that brains taste pretty good!

She agreed with me and to this day we roam the world eating brains and converting people to our righteous cause, as well as fucking like rabbits on the side.

We crash a lot of funerals and like to see how quickly we can turn them into zombie-orgies. My current record is five minutes and twenty three seconds.

And ever since that I love funerals. Best of all the animals.


_{edit: may not be a true story.}
(Thu 11th May 2006, 12:16, More)

» I just don't get it

one more for good luck
whats up with slugs????
HOW DO THEY SURVIVE IN THEIR NATRUAL HABITAT???

DO THEY HAVE *ANY* METHOD OF SELFDEFENCE AGAINST PREDATORS???
why hasn't every last one of them been eaten?
as far as i can tell, they have no camoflauge, no protective shell/skeleton/skin. they dont fight back, they aren't poisonous and they CAN NOT run for SHIT.

WTF ever happened to kill or be killed. or flight or fight?

W...T...F!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????
(Sat 2nd Apr 2005, 13:13, More)